First and foremost, I want to be clear,
I do hope that is alright?
But when it comes to matters of the heart
I do not believe in love at first sight.

I find the whole concept ridiculous
A lie for those with empty mind,
I just simply cannot believe
That fate could be so perfectly timed.

So ignore my pounding heart
Like you would a naughty child
And when my knees go weak,
It is not because you smiled.

When I catch you looking
My mouth and throat run dry.
Don't try to tell me it is love
Because with me, that ******* won't fly.

I do not believe in love at first sight.
I cannot say it enough.
The only question that troubles me,
Is what is this if it is not love?

I remember being lost,
being distraught,
being sad.

I remember grieving.

I remember hope, pride,
Elation
And the birth of my niece.
I remember the cold and wet,
The old faces as well as the new.

The music, the wind in my hair
And the oil on his jeans.
I remember the taste of champagne and marshmallows,
The warmth from the fire.

I remember traveling,
Our first date,
Good food
And the gentle pressure

Of your lips
On mine.

Sometimes I think I died;
Unmoving, unblinking, unfeeling.
Poison sits in my veins.
It doesn't flow, it preserves me.
A grinning death mask
Hides what rots inside.
Empty mind, still heart.
Unaware of those that mourn what
I once was,
Unable to comprehend.
Hair grows, hours fade.
Yes, sometimes I think I died.
I'm just waiting to be
Laid to rest.

Sometimes I can feel my brain
Stretching and screaming
To get out.
It wants to hop off the
Meat wagon
And go on an adventure
Of it's own.

When I think of you
You’re the ideal idea
You’re everything I need
But nothing I think I want

When I try to sleep
And imagine you breathing beside me
I think of affection and humor
You’re a balm to soothe
Not a love to consume

We are not in love or lust
There is no burning need
Just patience, comfort
Body heat for a security blanket

Our hands do not fit together
Not two halves of a whole
We’re broken pieces
Odd socks and lost pen tops
We don’t match but we suffice

You don’t fill the empty parts of me
Which gives me time with myself
You’re the ideal idea
The half smile on a dull day

I have no unrequited love
No heartache
Only the knowledge what perhaps
Just maybe
I’m not dead after all

Battered boots
Old torn tights
The way she moves
She refracts the light
She will crawl inside you
Barely five foot in height
Smile dripping in sarcasm
A rainbow child of the night

She smells faintly of cigarettes
And someone you know
A halo of dark hair
Secured with a bow
She watches and waits
For a heart filled with woe
She cheers whilst she jeers
My twisted gasoline rainbow

When I was three
And my mother brushed my hair
She parted it carefully
And braided it equally.
Two fat plaits
Hung as even as my stare.

When I was nine
And the hairbrush was my foe
Wild curls entwined
Personality defined.
Hair tangling
Faster than it could grow.

When I was fifteen
And hair hit the salon floor
I just wanted to be seen
So dyed it pink, blue and green.
Hair chopped short
Little girl no more.

Now I'm twenty-three
No longer in the nest
My parting is messy
And my braids escapee.
A hairy reminder
That mother knows best.