Well, one keeps company, doesn't one? Two, three, four, and counting. And any number can sit in an establishment and order drinks. And this company is served, isn't it? And service it will be.

Any number sits in a boulevard bar and orders three beer and a liquor. The barista brings the three beer and an empty liquor glass. Don't see the liquor, any number says. Oh yeah, she says, I forgot to say, take a deep look first. I see a tiny bubble of air, any number says. Well, that got me light in the head, she says. Won't do for me, any number says. Get to your senses and fill it up. Certainly, sir.

Any number sits in a lakeside lounge. And orders two soft drinks, one liquor and a beer. She brings the soft drinks, the liquor and an empty beer glass. Don't see the beer, any number says. Oh yeah, she says, I forgot to say, take a quick look first. I see a glass balloon, ready to take off, any number says. Hullaballoon, she says, that's why they call me a floater. Won't do for me, any number says. Get your feet on the ground and fill it up. Certainly, sir.

Any number sits in a seaside beer garden and orders one soft drink, one beer and two liquors. She brings the beer, the liquors and an empty soft drink glass. Don't see the soft drink, any number says. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, take a long look first. I see my own sweat dripping down in the glass. That's my cloud breaking, she says. Won't do for me, any number says, take your cue from the lightning and fill it  up. Certainly, sir.

It's nice to be nice, the barista thought. But King Customer is not ready for the service of an Empty Empress.

The psychic came home one day from a reading. Out of nowhere his guts started tormenting him. He said to himself, right, you go see a doctor, take pills or not, and then what? Read my guts! (The doctor won't like this.)

So he lay down and read his guts. What did he see? A deep maelstrom, whirling really fast. I must be under water to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, try again, maybe you can start a tropical swimming pool.

So he lay down again and read his guts. What did he see? A huge towering waterfall, like the Niagara Falls, water plunging down. I must be high up in the air to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, try again, you might get the ****** Falls.

So he lay down one more time and read his guts. What did he see? A wildly swollen roaring stream, thrashing down boulders, branches and baby carriages. I must be in there to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, okay, you're washed up, now start a diet and take some pills.

The psychic said, okay, guts don't go on diets and take pills, people do. But wait, I see a long pole with a blue and white flag standing in the stream. What's it doing there?

Two guys pass each other on the street.
Hey, do I know you?
Could be, in a past life.
No, you look just like a Western actor.
Well, I act like a Westerner, but I’m currently studying a new role.
Week later. A guy passes a woman in a sports center.
Hey, aren’t you some famous tennis player? she said.
Well, the only ball I ever hit never came back.
Month later. A teenager passes a guy in a bar.
Hey, didn’t we have some beers together?
In the Crosscut Saw? In the Dying Buffalo?
Well, I remember sawing wood, and that buffalo died on me long ago.
I’ll give your regards to my brother.
Ah, get outta my face.
Two guys pass each other in a dream.
Hey, you’re my double.
Yeah, where’ve you been hanging out?

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: What goes slow, should go fast, but it doesn't. Had a tooth pulled, it was a fast one. And then it released pain, instead of releasing of it. And that was a slow one.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something other is pulled together with the tooth. Like what? Fear of pain. The pain I tried to push far from me, I pulled closer by having the tooth pulled.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something changed inside me. First, the pain doesn't go fast, it goes slowly. Second, what is slow and not fast? Waiting. Patience is the patient's best friend.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: All suffering is becoming. But what am I becoming? Ah, get off my cloud of unknowing.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: I trust this virtual paper to pull something out of me.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: No matter, sure to be unsure. There's some surety in that. And delicate? Oh, that'll stick around.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something's pulling at my intestines. They know, but they can't tell yet. Or have they done just that? Sounds like, you've been pulling one on yourself.

The Imperfectionist looked out of a window. Actually, he looked at the window. Within it's frame a woman appeared. Do I fit, she said. Fit in as you like, he said. But I would prefer you cut some corners. You want corners? How about top left? Bottom right, whatever. Hey, you just want me out of the picture.
That would be picture perfect.

The Imperfectionist sat down and turned on his tv. He concentrated on the sideground images. A war correspondent appeared on the screen. Around him, desert debris, military wrecks, abandoned bodies. Interactive question: what's that rock behind you? Interactive answer: I refer you to the company geologist.  Q: could you do you commentary on the left side of the screen? A: and step onto a roadside bomb? Now that's a perfect scenario.

The Imperfectionist was tired of framed images. He stepped outside and moved like a camera. Straight ahead a young girl approached, eyes glued to her phone. Left of her, a scooter moved onto the sidewalk. Right of her, two women loudly discussed a daughter's dental problems. Above her, a drone whirred. Below her, the pavement showed it's beautiful cracks. Skewz me, I'm looking for... he said. She looked up the address. It's right here, sir. He slapped his forehead. Oh no, that's a perfect disappointment.

An Animal Magnetizer went knocking at the doors of farmers and pitched:
Your animals sick, sad and surly? Let me magnetize them and they will be sane, spirited and sweet. Two healings for the price of one!
One farmer thought: Well, it so happens carnival is in town, so let’s take a shot.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the goats, closed his eyes, and magnetized……
Dear Goat, you’ve sore knees, you’re too fat.
The goat thought: O, yeah, how about me getting extra fodder because I’m old? And he took a bite out of the magnetizer’s pants.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the goat sore knees for the rest of his life.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the chickens, closed his eyes and magnetized…..
Dear Chicken, you’re starving, look at your legs, they are so thin.
The chicken thought: O, yeah, I’m scuttling about all day looking for food and get fed twice a day, I’m just nice and slender.
And it pooped over the Animal Magnetizer’s shoes.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the chicken starvation for the rest of his life.
Well, the farmer said, I’m subwhelmed, you got one more chance.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the donkey’s, closed his eyes and magnetized…. (Let’s put a positive note)
Dear Donkey, you’ll have a beautiful child.
The donkey thought: O, yeah, look at my belly, a child can see that. And it peed all over the Animal Magnetizer’s shirt.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the donkey with a child that bore the horns of a goat and the feathers of a chicken.
Ah, well, buster, no cure no pay, the farmer said, I guess my stock relies on it’s own animal magnetism.

Two boys loved to go fishing. One was tall and proud, but small and timid on the inside. The other was small and soft, but tall and strong on the inside.
One day they went fishing in the river. The tall and proud one wore an old and shabby coat, but had a lot of money on him, his savings for a scooter. The small and timid one wore a flashy new coat, but his wallet was practically empty, having spent all his money on the flashy new coat.
With their rods and bait they looked for a good spot to fish. The tall and proud one proposed a bet: who would catch the biggest fish. Alright, said the small and timid one, what does the winner take? As much money as I have in my wallet, said the tall and proud one, thinking so I can buy the best scooter there is. Well, the small and timid one thought, if I lose it’ll cost me my new coat and I’ll be cold for the whole winter. But if I win, I can buy my little brother a coat. We have a bet, he said.
They chose a quiet spot at the river bend and sat waiting till the fish would bite.
Soon afterwards the tall and proud one caught a small fish, but threw it back in the water. A little later he caught another small one and again threw it back. The big fish are yellow, he thought.
The small and timid one felt a pull on his rod, drew it up and noticed that the bait was gone. He tried again, but same thing: the bait was gone. The fish are smart today, he thought.
In the meantime it was getting dark. Two other boys came walking along the river. They had a mind to rob someone. Look, one of them said, two guys fishing. Let’s see if they caught something. I could use a nice meal. Well, the other one said, I hope they have some money, so we can treat ourselves to a restaurant.
Stealthily they swooped down on the fishers. With knives out they demanded them to hand over what they got.
We haven’t caught anything, the boys said.
You don’t have any money? the robbers said.
I’m saving for a new scooter, the tall and proud one said, and started to cry.
Give it to me, the restaurant eater said.
Shaking all over the tall and proud one handed it to him.
What about you? the home eater said to the small and timid one.
I’ve only got my new coat, he said.
Give it to me, maybe I can swap it for a better fisher than you.
Calmly he handed over his new coat.
I’ll be cold now.
You really cold?
Alright, take back your coat, now give me your rods and can of fat worms.
And off they went.
The two boys walked back home. One without the money to buy a new scooter, the other with his new coat still on, the first small and timid, the second strong and proud.
One robber spent all the money on a multi course meal at a fancy restaurant, and ended up feeding the fish with his puke.
The other robber went fishing with the rod and bait but clumsily kicked over the can and the worms ended up in the river.
And the winner of the fishing match? That were the fish. First they took all the bait of the two boys, then they feasted on the remains of a copious meal and for dessert they got a whole can of worms.