Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
The Gifter had a job to do. He wasn't sure what it was, but he took it in hand anyway. At the start of the meeting a gift materialized in his hand. The recipient wondered: what does he want from me? Oh, just see it as a gesture, the Gifter said. Like a friendly smile.

The Gifter had another job to do. Again he wasn't sure what it was, but …. what the heck. After the first lesson he went up to the teacher and a gift materialized in his hand. The recipient was amazed: I didn't expect this.  What do I do with this choice of nuts? Oh, just see it as a first helping, the Gifter said. Make some tea and put them in a bowl.

The Gifter had a job to do. Again. He wasn't sure what it was, but... he enjoyed the feeling. At the house of a lazy friend in need a gift materialized in his hand. The friend was embarrassed: What's this? I must say I appreciate it, but it feels like you're wrapping me in paper. Oh, just see it as a kick starter, the Gifter said. All you have to do is unwrap.

The Gifter met up with his brother, the Grifter. Long time no speak, the Gifter said. Yeah, how's the job going? the Grifter said. Can't complain. Seeing myself as a fraud works like a devil. I took your advice, the Grifter said. Seeing myself as a friend pays off divinely.

A gift materialized in their hands. Why do I deserve this, the Gifter said. I deserve this and more, the Grifter said.
The White Hole thought to itself: I need another hole to fit in with. It scanned parks, meadows and forests. And stumbled into a Rabbit Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the rabbit said. I'm not trying to blow you away, rabbit. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. You're too glaring, the Rabbit Hole screamed. Get your laser light out of my cozy darkness. And out whooshed the White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned war zones, battlefields and cyber bunkers. And nearly fell into a Man Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the man said. I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. It's getting much too hot in here, the Hole said. Snap off that nuclear plant of yours, I wanna be cold and uncomforto. And out whooshed The White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned the universe, both outside and inside. And bumped into a Black Hole. Hey Whitey, watcha doin', the Black Hole said. Sorry, Blacky, I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. Well, Whitey, I can tell you this: you gotta wait till I'm done.
How long you think you gonna take?  Ages, you call 'em light years. You can try my *******. Blacky, any hole of yours, light seconds I’ll be there.
The Situationer left the situation room and went looking for a situation. Even though he knew the situation would arrive anyway. He bumped into a group of people forming a circle. He looked inside the circle and saw a girl lying on the ground. What's the situation? he said. Waiting for the ambulance, giving her water to drink, empathizing, being frightened, taking a picture, robbing her purse, commenting on her legs. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's moving, minus one. You mean: minus yourself? No, I do both, because I show and tell.

The Situationer went looking for another situation. He came upon a twosome. Both persons were talking and gesturing. What's the situation? he said. She broke my watch, he failed an appointment, she looked away sweetly, he killed me with his eyes, she broke the camel's back, he pricked the needle in the haystack, she sleeps without snoring, he eats without smacking. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's moving and standing still at the same time. Plus yourself? No, I can't do both at the same time. I either show or I tell.

The Situationer went looking for one more situation. A young person stood fiddling with a stick in the pool: Look, a polar bear in a big pool! What's the situation? the Situationer said. I wanna swim, but I'm afraid, I'm not a polar bear but a big blond guy, that makes me even more afraid, okay, I'm a bipolar bear. I cuddle and ****, chill, let's freeze together, you're furry right. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's big and small at the same time. Hey, check who's sweating. I can be both at the same time. And with that situation the Situationer goes back to the situation room.
A boy walked in a mist.
He couldn't see for a hundred meters.
He felt he was lost.
He walked on, but the mist only thickened.
He followed a path that suddenly ended.
And now? he said to himself.
Next to him a hedgehog appeared out of the bush.
Hedgehog, he said, how do you find your way in this dense mist?
Well, said the hedgehog, I'm a prickly animal and my sharp pins sense
whether there’s danger or not.
But, said the boy, I'm lost and afraid.
Now, said the hedgehog, that's because you only use your eyes.
What you see is just mist and that's nothing to be afraid of.
But I don't have your prickly pins, said the boy.
Oh, said the hedgehog, but if you're afraid of the fog, just sit down
and wait till it dissolves.
How long? said the boy.
Just how long it takes, said the hedgehog.
Remember, your eyes are connected to your brain.
And so are your skin, ears and nose. Those are your pricklies.
I'll tell you what, said the boy, can I sit next to you for a while?
Right, said the hedgehog, sit down and enjoy what you see,
because what you see is mystery, not danger.
Two boys played soccer together alongside a river. The ball went up high in the air and dropped in the water with a splash. One of the boys went after it.
He stepped into the river and felt the water pull and push him this way and that.
Oh, he said to the reeds standing near the river bank, you just stand there easily.
Me, I just have to work hard to keep from falling. How do you do this?
Well, the reeds said, the way you do it, you're just like the ball you're trying to get.
We just stand and move with the flow of the water.
Now that's nice, the boy said, how can I stand and move at once?
Well, said the reeds, to move you first have to stand firm and relaxed.
Then when you move, you do this from a firm position, and move to the next firm and relaxed position.
The boy bent his knees slightly and stepped forward slowly. And stood there a moment with bent knees, gently moving with the water.
O, reeds, he said, how wonderful to be like you.
Yes, said the reeds, but we won't get your ball for you.
The man who fell in love everyday sat in the sauna next to a dark girl.
He dropped to his knees, kissed her hand and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The dark girl said:
Funny man.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell out of love that instant.
He walked over to the infrared sauna and sat next to a redhead.
Again he dropped to his knees and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The redhead said:
My hair is a traffic light. That's where you stop.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell out of love that instant.
He walked over to the swimming pool and let himself in.
An older woman swam towards him.
He couldn't drop to his knees, so he floated up to her and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The older woman said:
As long as we're in the water, let's marry.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell in love no more.
A man was walking through a forest and a fierce wind was blowing.
He had trouble keeping his balance.
Suddenly he meets a spider hanging in a bush.
The spider gently swayed with the wind.
He asked the spider: Tell me, how do you keep your balance in this fierce wind?
The spider said: It's my web. I'm connected with everything that surrounds me.
The man: But I don't have a web.
Yes you do, said the spider.
You have a mind that can connect you with your surroundings. Try it.
The man imagined his own web and stood perfectly balanced.
Thank you, spider, he said.
Don't thank me, said the spider.
You did it yourself.
Next page