Chie: Poems

Chie Aug 2016

You were always there
To care for me
To nurture me
To love me
Yet I was always
Bad
Bad
Bad
So I'm sorry
If I always make you mad
I was too stubborn; too selfish
And I couldn't understand
All the things that you’ve done
And all the hardships that you faced
Were all for me so I'm sorry
Again and
again

Asking questions

Chie Aug 2016

Asking questions

I could have asked for anything
Maybe even what’s inside your mind?
I could have told you what you remind me of0
A beautiful girl to someone who’s blind
But I couldn’t so I lied I lied
Lingering emotions and thoughts screamed
But nothing formed words;you were but too kind
Like an illusion in the dark
Maybe because I was scared of you
That maybe I wasn’t enough for you
I was a pale comparison to your bright sun
A moon burdened to hide in your shadow

At seaside

Chie Aug 2016

At seaside

Sitting, quietly, seaside
I was with you, yes, you
Of the shiningly black hair
Glistening, seemingly with every
Ray drop of sunlight and every
Tide of wave swam ashore
And I was there
Gazing, silently, ocean
Expanding endlessly beyond vision
We were holding each other’s hands
It felt good holding your hands
Catching minute glimpses of your eyes
Watching the vast everblue
Fearful and scared of the future
But still beautiful; exuding allure
Even after all this time
Because I’ll never get tired of the ocean
No matter if it speaks every word carefully
And lies the next sentence
I’ll never hate the ocean
Even when I drown or spent years
Swimming, shallow, waters

Color Blindness

Chie Aug 2016

Color Blindness

If I become blind one day
And can no longer see your face
Amongst the derelict sea of features
Yet you still ask for me to remember
If only to describe with each passing day
In full color what it felt was to love
Even if color are the grains
Of sand that slipped past my palm
And into the darkness that swallows
I would still utter, love
Without doubt that you were
The greens that grows beneath the soil of
My heart , the blue that quenches
The red in my blood and
The bright yellow that shines above the sky
And in the field of black and white
*You are the screaming color

Far away

Chie Aug 2016

Far away

The concept of far away
Makes mundane into magnificence
If you look at the streets
All decrepit ghost of buildings
****** up and built
With soul and gone
The new and commercialized
With none; a soul at all
The smoke and vices
And roads filled with trash
And lost dreams
We see the city for
What it is
Ugly
But on top of a view
So high, overlooking
The metro we are amazed
By the unexpected splendor
Of the otherwise routine and realize that
Detachment makes things beautiful

Masks

Chie Aug 2016

Masks

You’re lost at sea,
Looking for whatever
Floating mask fits,
Whichever suits and
Then someday when
You’re not lost anymore.
When you already swam ashore
*Who are you?

My last lie

Chie Aug 2016

My last lie

Maybe, that’s just how life is.
You look up, realize, a lot of things don’t matter. Those people,
that opportunity, even yourself deep
Down. But the thing is, just don’t care. At least stop caring.
That’s when it starts to hurt. That’s when you cry
even without tears and regret
Every.
Single.
Thing.
That happened.
Don’t regret, dear. Never. Everything is worth experiencing.
Yes, even the ****** ones.
Whatever problem, whatever dilemma you’re facing.
I promise it’ll get brighter soon. Not tomorrow, next year, not even
when you hear the last lie coming from me
but definitely.
You’ll have to wait for my last lie then.

Old age

Chie Aug 2016

Old age

The sound alarm in the morning
The scent oh smell the roasted
Coffee brewing and every morning
When I started noticing
Every single minute detail around me
The birds chirping away their problems
The leaves oh seemingly orange of age
Falling towards the ground and
Never going back to where it once was
Being swept in a heartless endeavor
In one corner in a pile that resembles
Mountains of old and forgotten
And left till the wind takes
And leaves
As I take a sip of coffee
This morning, contemplating of
All those leaves that have fallen
I ask “When will I fall?”
“Will somebody catch me?”

Person ∞

Chie Sep 2017

Person ∞

I am a person // Not just a character
In your world to add
To collect as if glass figurines
When we were children
Deprived of actual childhood left
To only play make believe in
Some low-key fantasy
About princesses trapped in in towers
And you were the knight in
Shining armor and sword in hand
That vanquishes evil
I am neither the princess nor a prince
Nor a villager to applaud your achievements
I am a person // Not a mouth that just
Tells you everything's alright
Not a hand that pats your back when
Things go sour
And not in your favor
Because I am a person // I am not a stock
character
To play in the movie of your life
I am not a manic pixie dream girl
That'll save you from your sadness
I don't change my hair every two weeks
Nor am I named after a season
I am not a Mary Sue
That's perfect in every aspect
That'll save you if you are stuck
And downtrodden and in quick sand sinking
I'm sinking as well
I am me // a person
Not quite as two dimension as you think
I am not static nor a flat character
i could act in more ways than in a line
I could deviate
There is no patter I couldn't break
I could be sad, mad , angry , bad or good
And everything in between
I am a person // the way I want to be
And not what you want to see
Or imagined in your head
So please open your eyes
Because for once I want to be
A main character
A protagonist
And not just someone that dies
Without any fanfare
I want you to see
That I am alive // a person

Stories Told

Chie Aug 2016

Stories Told

There have been many stories told
Countless poems and prose written
About the forgotten ones
To those spirits and souls
Who laugh and cry
And tells everything’s alright
I say without contempt nor
Doubt
“You don’t have to hide.”

To each one fighting their way
Out
Of an abyss of their own fates
“It’s not too late.”

Each brawl with your inner demons
Every lesson along the way
Every corner, every junction
Every turn you had to take
Turning left

Right around the corner
Each sober faces you had seen
Still drunk
With the thought of what could have been
And all those moments you could have
shared, but
You are still alive

Yes, you are still there
And tomorrows another day

The nightingale

Chie Aug 2016

The nightingale

Cinderblock ashes and miles a sunder
And the crestfallen seas as wide there after
The nightingale as she was called
Bold, brave and on a journey
Searching for the missing piece in her heart
She looked and looked
But she couldn't find
She asked and asked
But nobody replied
And her words came to deaf ears
But the nightingale traveled still
Far and wide and never wavering
Wandering the great vortex within
And asked every possible being
But to no avail
The nightingale of the dark was lost
And in midst of the ever looming
Swallowing shadows coalescing
To a tapestry of nothing but black
She recognized one fateful truth
No amount of screaming nor
Soothing of her pain will surmount
The fact that no one
Nobody is going to come help her
Find what she was looking for
Only herself

When we were

Chie Aug 2016

When we were

Sometime around midnight
I think about all the things
I think about when
I think about you
Something about your
Big, bright smile or your
Cute, little pout you make
All the time whenever
We were together
All the time back then when
We were together

You and me

Chie Aug 2016

You and me

We were two broken souls
Intertwined; I was desperate to be saved
You were too
And I was
Hopeful
Scared
In love
You were just the same,
Yet we still pretended
That we were right for each other,
That our love could last further,
That we won’t give up on one another,
We tried but it ended. It really did.
What was left?
An unfulfilled dream
An idea of forever
A broken heart
Did you know this from the start?
But even if our love ignited and burned,
Just as fast as it vanished,
I can still say with all certainty,
You were the only good thing left in my world.
*back then

— The End —