I couldn't hate you so I started to hate myself instead. I tried hating you so much that I got in my own head. I loved you so much that in that time I forgot about me and I can't forgive myself for letting myself get comfortable with a man who has always shown me I cannot trust him. I should've trusted that gut feeling, the one that told me don't give anymore chances, give yourself time to heal but its hard when you give your love and patience to someone who steals them. Became my other half and expected more than what I knew I was receiving. Received bare minimum and hopes of reassurance because from this current i could see the wave, maybe it's been delayed but i stayed and you expected change. I expected change because I became so cold because of the way you always did things. It was my turn and when I didn't text, you noticed my appearance had changed. I was drained and tired in a way somebody probably couldn't explain. If he would tooken time to look in my eyes he would have noticed my unexplained pain. The consequences of your love hurt but it feels so good to love you, even at times where your words left a burn. Wounds I haven't let heal because when I think about you my feelings start to reveal but i couldn't hate you so i started to hate myself instead. The feeling of regret when I try to go to bed. I told myself no more chances but I never seem to listen to the voices in my head. After the excuses after my patience I realize I would've looked so dumb if I waited and I hate to say this but you can't come back. I can't hate you because love doesn't fade away because love doesn't leave your body when things don't go your way. A little piece of me waits even though the person you left is still hurting. so, If you tried coming back, I know I wouldn't be able to accept that. I don't actually hate myself, I just hate how i catt hate you like I want to.

I want you to talk to me about your problems
But that means opening up, which you make seem impossible
You said men don't cry, men don't talk about there problems
But holding it in only makes it self consciously stick to your mind and make you question the what ifs
Crying doesn't make you any less of a man
Not talking about your problems doesn't you a *****
It makes you a man
I get it but at the same time I don't because crying is well known for woman but crying doesn't make me less of one
You held it in and took it out on the ones you love
But when the day comes
And you come to me about the way you have been feeling
Just know you can cry on my shoulder and I will never tell a soul