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Pluck Aug 2019
The climate change & the weather never fair.
Ecocentric so it’s so many ways I want to clear the air.
Hurt by the things I hear, like I wasn’t there.
Sending money to my family & they still call me gross when the net everywhere.
12 hour work days after driving from Tuscaloosa when I couldn’t rest.
Craving success, cut off the love of my life due to stress.
How do I tell the person next to me I need to isolate myself?
How do I tell someone I give reassurance I actually hate myself?
& I’m the villain because I didn’t drag you through my bad episode?
Success come with seasons & we fell before the summer because I couldn’t stand to see you cold.
The price to keep moving, my past is littered with good people.
Every time I step up I fall in to puddles of tears like I’m racing steeple.
I hear the unsweet tea but my mouth never bitter.
Would I have taken a Phoenix contract if I was still with her?
We never know what God needs to erase to write the story.
Most common evidence of weak faith is when we worry.
If you lining up for success, you need God on the corner to go that route.
To get in your bag sometimes some people have to come out.
Pluck Aug 2019
‪& while he’s in negotiations
She’s in his imagination.
Money don’t buy happiness & so his dollars need lamination.
Tears fall on hundred dollar bills.
The more liquid the more love spills.
Pride kills.
Trust me, the saddest papers are wills.
He let her go.‬
He let her grow.
He moved across the country without a word, it would be selfish to let her know.
& so. So? So? & so.
Through the speaker played a song slow.
Oh well, his money long though.
Pluck Jul 2019
They don’t tell the whole story.
Every hero sounds like a villain if you withhold the glory.
They don’t talk about how the effort was never reciprocated.
Always how you left, never how it was instigated.
Condemned off the short when you were perfect for so long.
They know they can’t actually relate to those songs.
When you made their dreams come true, where was all this regret?
Truth is a bad person Is easier to forget.
Every time I’ve been demonized I left a high bar.
& not one person has found a replacement to meet It so far.
Remember a person at peace doesn’t make a sound.
& most good people aren’t appreciated until they’re not around.
Pluck Jun 2019
I feel lost, so I wrote.
Every day I carry the weight of the world & the oceans spill down my face some nights.
It’s four pillows. Sometimes, I remember it used to be a girl, so I write.
I feel sad, so I wrote.
My dreams remind me they’re not here, so I’m afraid to close my eyes.
The seas on my face spill dry, & then I write.
In the sky they advertise success, they don’t show the cost.
Everyday I gain more, every night I remember what I’ve lost.
I miss them, so I wrote.
When the light knocks the next day, I remember I’m not done yet.
Forgetting I commemorate at every sun set.
When I’m scared, Ink down paper is how I run best.
Feeling far from the ones that have died. I’m adding distance to the ones alive.
I worked so hard to soar, I didn’t think how far you end up when you fly.
I’m alive, so I write.
Pluck Apr 2019
Leading led to me to being lost.
I wanted success & didn’t know the costs.
I wanted to put more here.
I can’t explain what I feel. I can’t describe what I hear.
I can’t find my pen. My heart is gone.
My tears don’t fall & my rights are wrong.
I can’t explain why I’m sad. I can’t explain what I’m missing now.
Too many people need me, I can’t ever be selfish now.
Big brother. Best friend. Boyfriend. Boss.
I’ve been leading & didn’t know I was lost.
Pluck Feb 2019
I only dance when I’m in my room alone.
We can afford houses, but we can’t buy homes.
Grown, living off poems and songs.
If you don’t lean on the kid inside the adult doesn’t last long.
There’s so much in life we have to see.
Government shut down, my aunt was working for free.
I chip in like I’m on the lease.
Amazed even in the darkest time she was happier than me.
no social media, no tv. I think that’s why every time I see her it’s a laugh.
The days are better when you don’t know what you don’t have.
It’s been years since we had less but sometimes I miss It.
& to cheer up I play my favorite songs & change up the lyrics.
Different places in life is a walk to remember.
Two places at once, lives change, miracles happen when opposites come together.
Pluck Feb 2019
Being broke truly was better.
A cold house felt warmer with the family together.
I haven’t spoken to my brothers in years.
They can’t understand prison one of my biggest fears.
Success cost me everything just to give Uncle Sam twenty five percent.
& if I quit who will pay Grandma’s rent?
Who keeps mom on her feet?
This why every weekend I’m asleep.
Back then there was a smaller line.
With anxiety & depression it appears you’re in pain all the time.
You can’t buy peace, you have to choose It.
Success might cost everything, be prepared to lose it.
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