Today I heard the Devil talking in my head, he said it's an emergency.
Said he had some words for me.

"The success you've tasted will remain a taste, a tease of the meal you desire.
You failed today & im sending more failures until your soul yearns to retire.
She'll leave you just like the last one & you'll once again slumber in a depression smogged by those burning tires.
You'll stare at your wheels eradicated & let that be to you a learning fire.
That any joy I will ******, I will turn any source of happiness against you with the pleasures of the world.
So don't get to attached to those milestones, never cherish that praise, don't love that girl."

Seems like everything I allow myself to believe is finally something good for me ends up being touched by grim.
Sometimes things I pray for appear & it's terrifying because I can't tell if it's God or him.
See when you're already at your lowest why would the devil bother you in the dirt for?
He uses illusions to lift you up, when you fall from happiness it just hurts more.

Bridges burn and hearts left behind on those bridges burn eternally causing a droughtful soul.
It's a realm where tears can't fall with out freezing & frost covers messages for help, such a doubtful cold.
We enter a drought and what a drought that is.
When you thought she was the one, when you though you were his.
Maybe God showed favor to me because he knows just how badly my scarrs have ached for no reason.
I sent prayers up not asking for much, just some help maybe, instead he sent me an angel to help me fight my demons.
Happened so swiftly, I can't even replay it, she descended down in a sizzling flash.
Because I fear she could be gone just as fast I take pictures every time she's around just to make the visual last.
None the less one of my greatest blessings came after my darkest night & im here to tell you it won't always be bad like you might think.
You're in that drought with your eyes wide open, stop looking. Sometimes the blessings just appear once you decide to blink.

The hate I have for my past and what she did occupies that space and erases chances.
After pain we're approached by chances and opportunities but our old tears drown out advances.
I know, you don't want to be stagnant, you don't want to settle but you can't spend life's precious days running.
It's supposed to be there. Your past, it's supposed to be there & you won't ever let go until you grab onto something.
A career? A sport, hobby, child? A divine power from up above?
I don't know, but you just have to find something else to love because you were meant to love.
A romantic heart can never truly be empty, it will either be occupied by unwelcomed pain or optimistic happiness depending on what you stand for.
The good news is you choose, no matter who hurts you, you choose to be happy or let the pain stay, you're your heart's own land lord.

My friends always come to me, I'm so often playing therapist.
It's life, we all have em, no problem should ever be embarrassing.
So you'll have to forgive me I might be single until I'm 50.
If I get depressed so many people miss me so I don't have the time to waste with someone acting iffy.
Talking about internships and aspirations with friends I'd give a kidney
Seeing the good ones some of you cheat on, you people have to be kidding.
Loyalty's no longer a discussion.
With my generation I'm digusted.
Every month I gain an enemy and lose a cousin.
People treat me differently ever since I became something.
& on top of that how am I ever supposed to look at my lady? And say "baby lets have a baby" when black babies are dropping dead in my cities, this life is crazy.
I don't know if talking about it helps.
This the stuff that's on my mind, I usually just keep it to myself.

We're all born with dreams, with gifts, and passionate hearts.
& just like Bella we all often imagine a rice covered path to the finish line right from the start.
Some choose to lay their hearts open but Bella, she chose to lock it.
Some of us are born on rainy days destined to see grey clouds, some to stare at celestial sunsets; you're either born staring at a broken mirror or with a clover in your pocket.
She fell, stumbled, she couldn't control it.
The locks she had in place served no purpose, he charmingly broke in picking through her fearful security with warmth and stole it.
Sometimes burglars can be intruders that you want inside because being locked up alone is no life at all.
Life seises from being short when you're loved by someone, you don't feel time at all.
Well, actually, maybe you feel it all at once the day you stare into their aged eyes at a youthful fire, but you never hear the clock tick.
A life in love is truly a roller coaster, feels like an eternity to get there but once you fall, the thrill, the rush, flashes by oh so quick.
Poor Bella. She wasn't a believer in such a ride until she woke up a top that hill.
Realizing she was ready to dive, to fall and scream. Heart racing, palms sweating, she realized his deepest dreams had become her priority will.
Sadly, something happened as she stepped into that cart.
He had no interest in sitting next to her, he was on his own climb to an enchanting fall & he walked away crumbling her already fearful heart.
Bella wasn't born with the clover, she was born during the storm, born staring into the mirror and trying to ignore the hurtful cracks.
Be grateful if you're born with that clover because you're lucky & you have a chance. & if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet the person you love decides to love you back.

My phone memory is exhausted, the database is so full yet it's so empty.
Maturity turns more to less & loneliness stems from plenty.
You'll count up to two, eight, fourteen, twenty.
Then you look up to a crowded room of meaningless people & see no one, lord where have you sent me?
A path of numerals is not a pleasant walk.
All these texts, all these calls & conversations but lack of substance equates deafness, I can no longer hear them talk.
Gosh, I can't erase this chalk.
How I wish to throw water on my blackboard and fast forward, I must repel & balk.

The best meals take awhile, so here I wait, & when the tables turn I will have earned my seat & my plate. Wow, ain't fate great. Just, wait.