Ted was a good guy, he had
plenty of friends.
No one could believe that his
life came to an end.

People would always say that
he had a great smile.
He would go the distance for
you, even walking a mile.

Ted worked ******* his job from
night to day.
If they needed someone to work
overtime, Ted would stay.

Suddenly one day he began to
feel terrible and strange.
This is day that everything in
Ted's life changed.

Doctor's ran blood test, cultures
and a whole lot more.
Ted's boss and the job selfishly
kicked him out of the door.

Suffering without insurance and
in a whole lot of pain.
Ted then decided to give up on life
because he felt he had nothing to gain.

Lord, if someone had just reached out
to lend Ted a helping hand.
We wouldn't have to be standing
out in the rain trying to understand.

One thing about Ted is he did the
very best that he could.
Satisfying his no good boss, job and
people who never understood.

Ted's insurance company let it be
known that they could care less.
Doing all that they could do to make
his life more of a mess.

So here we are talking all about Ted
leaving behind kids and a wife.
Nobody wants to face the facts of
why he took his own life.

Most would agree that suicide for
Ted was all so wrong.
Even the strongest of men have a
day when they are not strong.

It's about time that I speak about
you and the things that you do.
It starts about the silly little things
that I put you through.

If pain was caused by anybody, it
was all caused by me.
It was always you who hung in to
show me how things should be.

I owe you the world and I owe you
more than that.
I've even taken things from you that
I could never give you back.

Strong and courageous, these words
are meant to define only you.
You're the one who's teaching me that
real love can be true.

You're grounded with strength and a
heart that's made of gold.
You're the one who has the right to be
loved to your soul.

You've shown me that you are a woman
and deserved to be treated as such.
When it comes to having an amount of
love for you I have so much.

Selfishness can't be found in your heart
no matter what you seem to do.
The Lord blesses many men like me
to have someone just like you.

waking up in darkness yet He
saw fit to show me the light.
in the middle of the storms He
chose to make things right.

the many days of sorrow and
the unfortunate minutes of pain.
He stepped in and touched my life
so that I'll call on His holy name.

countless blessings He's given to
me with many more to spare.
He didn't have to do it for me but
through love I do know He cares.

my life's a living testimony for reasons
that I do not know.
but He saw fit to guide me through it
all, there's no better friend I know.

Sometimes a man find himself
encased in a total stare.
Memories of the abusive one
whose aggressions he could
no longer bare.

No one would listen because
of the fact that he is
a man.
Nobody cared to go to his defense
nor tried to understand.

The gender card was exploited
and always on
full display.
Lies held against him will always
be until his abusers dying day.

Hurting inside because
the man forever lost
a child.
The abuser stands by watching
with an aggressive smile.

The abuser never cared
about nothing or the
damage she caused.
She was more concerned about
the good image to be lost.

What his child look like today
the man he just
cannot say.
He finds himself stuck with
the image of yesterday.

His abuser has purposely torn
away parts of his heart
for many years.
His eyes has never dried up
from the many tears.

Avoiding the abuser this man
had to be the one to pay
a lifetime price.
Escaping the claws of the abuser
the child became the
ultimate sacrifice.

I want a brand new Cadillac and I
really don't like them, and that's a fact.
Maybe I'll get my girl one that's painted pink
maybe I'll freestyle for me with weird painted ink.
I want leather seats to help warm my cold ****, the
steering wheel needs adjusting to fit over my gut.
I want it fully loaded, radio, gps and the white walls
including a custom made phone to make all of my calls.
22in. rims are too high for me to be rolling on alone
but I need to feel that the engine is pushing really strong.
Give me the best that Cadillac has to make, I
just got to have me one just for the name sake.
I don't know if I should lean to the right or the left
right now all I need is a Cadillac all to myself.
Money's no object that's what some of us would say, just
driving the Cadillac brand seems to be the American way.

we saw it at a distance
we didn't twice about it.
it wasn't our war to fight
so we let the fuses glow.

slowly the wind blew
death in our direction.
it came crawling slowly
it eventually open the door.

the panic button is round
it goes down with such ease.
when it reaches its destination
an explosion comes about.

life takes on a totally different
and new direction.
faith finds it's place like no
other times before.

lessons of the past still hasn't
found it's way.
future has no meanings until
we find the open door.

The driver slowly drove down
a road called "Troubled Lane".
There were plenty signs along
the way that said "Stop".

He drove down "Sin Street" and
asked if I wanted to take a tour.
He suggested that we go down
the road called "Past".

He pointed out a sign that read
the "Road to Hell".
There was an arrow on a sign
pointing to the "Lake of Fire".

He quietly asked if I wanted to
tour "Outcast Boulevard".
Or follow the sign that pointed
toward "Destruction Row".

There was an option given to
turn toward "The Bible".
Finally the driver showed me the
sign that said "Repent".

I fell out of this chair because
I just wanted to believe in all

you've said to me

all you've read to me

and even the pain you've

caused me.

I can no longer believe in
you because I can't get back

into this chair

because you lied

to me

but not only to me

you lied

by taking the

life of

my child.

I sit down on the floor

because you think

that it's cute.

A bridge came tumbling down today
just as I made it to the other side.
There was no reason for me to look
back because the road was clear ahead.

In my God's world there are many paths
that are not straight for many reasons.
For He chose these roads for me to seek
out His glory in desperate times of need.

There are signs on the side of the road
that say turn to the left and to the right.
There are signs strategically placed with
a  911 number in case of an emergency.

There are many paths that God has made
for us that goes up and sometimes down.
Leading us through the storms of life with
a promise to see Him at the end of the road.

Passing through the night only to greet
the morning in a purple haze.
The brain is floating inside my head as
the fog resides leaving me in a daze.

The weight of an anvil holds me down
because my strength has gone away.
Adventures that's going on outside have
no baring's, so I stay in bed all day.

The pins beneath my skin get worst as
they dig deeper with every sting.
I want to fly away sometimes but fate
leaves me without my wings.

Hidden from the world, I cover myself
with depression and grief.
Sad, distraught and more worrying takes
the place of unfound relief.

Memory loss comes frequent but it won't
let me forget about the pain.
Driving me crazier and crazier when the
weather decides to change to rain.

Trapped inside a forest without roads
or clear paths to lead me out.
Forced to live in a world without a cure
that doctors can't seem to figure out.

A heavy dose of fog covered the city
leaving minimum sights to see.
The dampness of it all felt good enough
to cover the heat that soon will be.

Lights could be seen in a distance as
the day began to come alive.
Passing vehicles created creepy illusions as
crickets sounds slowly became deprived.

What lurks within the fog could sometimes
leave one's mind to only guess.
It become so highly tense at times only to
cover up a decaying city and it's big mess.

Smile in your face and place
you on top of a mountain.
Only to drag you down for
the amusement of the town.

Religion he claims for the
whole world to see,
a member of pure darkness,
con artist and a liar.

Prestige, a sense of falseness
cleverly put into play.
A game for the kisser and
no room for the weak.

No yards to be gain as the
quarters come to an end.
In the end its all worth it
because you will learn.

Some of them stood there talking bad
about me as the service went on.
They had nothing to say good about me,
they talked about the things I did wrong.

Some rushed the preacher to hurry up to
get this thing over with.
Instead of putting a rose on top of me
some could only conjure up spit.

Heaven they could only wish for me as the
choir sadly sang along.
Most of them wouldn't dare to wish me to
hell without clapping to a sad song.

Maybe the things they're saying about me
was the case I made for my own self.
Maybe most of them cried so many tears
when I was alive now they have none left.

They laughed and made jokes about my
mom because she broke down and cried.
Mostly all of them showed up at my funeral
to make sure that I had died.

Mesmerizing, soft sounds it could be
a melody of construction,
      destruction, a flame that flickers
within, it calls out to you.

It paints a clear picture on canvas
thats sometimes unseen
      by the naked eye.
the sun, the moon, even uneven
darkness.

Rainbows appear from its smooth
and unlikely string.
  madness, a sense of artful colors
performs in the mind.

Melodies that mean no harm,
   that touches all of the
       world in a single time and
place, most of all the heart.

Streets covered with hatred, a
tainted neighborhood.
Leadership take it as a sign that
everything is good.

People mislead and forgotten
left to carry the note.
Leadership's only concern is
will you give them a vote.

Decayed relations with the city
the green grass has died.
Leadership strives on messages
of conquer and divide.

Death covers the streets taking
one block at a time.
Leadership looks the other way
as if everything is fine.

The city continues to scream loud
in the middle of the night.
Leadership's only concern is that
their name tag is spelled right.

A letter came this week that touched my heart,
a man wrote and said he didn't believe in God.
It took the wind out of me because of my beliefs,
striking the core of my soul like a lighting rod.

There is no God, that's what the letter so boldly said
but he never asked me what did I believe.
The power of the words and the affects it had on me
stopped me dead in my tracks, I couldn't proceed.

An opinion wasn't offered to fill me in as to why I
should see things his way.
Maybe he doesn't understand fully that I have a
reason to believe God wakes me up everyday.

Clearly this letter is making it's point by trying to
tell me that I'm the one whose being misled.
But the author doesn't know that it's because of my
God that I have a roof over my head.

TO  BE CONTINUED

It's been a couple of days now and I'm
still thinking about that letter.
There's nothing within the lines I've
read that could make me feel better.

I've tossed and I've turned trying to make
myself come to an understanding.
Why would a man want me to believe his
way of thinking and to be so demanding.

Why would he want me to excuse and to
remove the God that I believe in.
Would he want me to walk away from a
God who I claim as a true friend.

Maybe the words written on this letter
wasn't what he really wanted to say.
Maybe the author of the letter wanted
to know if I've truly found my way.

I can only tell the author that the roads
will still have the pitfalls up ahead.
His letter is a prime example for me to
keep pushing on and not to be mislead.

So as I pray for the letter writer and I
wish him the very best.
God promised that the roads to heaven
will sometimes start with a test.

in exercising the rights of what most men want.
joy, independence and a way to make a living.
to be strong and to be able to hold on whenever
the northern winds decide to blow.

the northern wind blows and you know how cold
it can be at times. we need the shelter for protection.
a wall to hide behind when everything else that's pushing
us around seems to give away but not this wall.

it's tough and it has a job to do and that is to break the man
of weakness but the wall would rather you take it on because
it's designed to build character in all men who's brave enough
to fall into place at the right time and your protection will be granted.

blow wind blow, give it all you've got because here I stand as a man who has faced the tidal waves of the coldest seas yet I refuse to let it
take me down.

a good man who's down on his luck you can best believe that when that old northerner starts to blow again, you can look forward to meet another and greater challenge.

Today the skies were sunny and
bright, but not for me.
People were out walking in the
streets, I had nowhere to be.

Somebody was singing karaoke
while hearing a favorite song.
I couldn't seem to do anything
right, without thinking wrong.

In the garage I found one of my
granddaughters favorite toys.
Then I found myself becoming
sad because I have no boys.

My wife saw something on sale,
she said I would like this honey.
I kept saying to myself, we just
don't have the money.

Usually I'm the one who could
tell the best told stories.
Nothing seem to be right anymore
since fibromyalgia stole my glory.

The melody comes from black and white,
sensitive, strong, fast or slow.
It all depends on the player and sometimes
it all depends on the keys they know.

The  melodies can take you down the streets
and alleys of Broadway.
It can change the way you sometime feel
on any given day.

The crowds cheer and there are times when
the crowds may cry.
The sound creeps and searches the heart of
a man like an unexpected spy.

Dramatic strikes it takes for the young and
the people of old.
Creating sounds of the utmost at times
that fulfills the joy of a soul.

labeled dumb because the color of his skin
supposedly made him better then me.
untruthful am I because there's no other way
my stories are expected to be.

unrestricted claims to keep me from taking
the highest roads ahead.
he'd rather see me hanging from the highest
tree until he thought that I was dead.

mental torture given because it seem like the
best and righteous thing for him to do.
by keeping his dirt swept neatly under a rug
there's no way anybody would have a clue.

forcing his will upon me as a way to let me
know that he's the one in control.
when faced with the realities of his sins he'd
rather lie than to save his own soul.

maybe the time would come when he'll stop
using hatred as a formula for a thrill.
maybe he'll see the words "the racist" engraved
on his tombstone while buried upon a hill.

I understand the ritual between
Laila and I.
When she see me she cries as if
she's afraid of me.

In the beginning it broke my
heart because of who I am.
It's a ritual that shows me that
love can start with tears.

Patience is the key as the tears
in Laila eyes slowly fade.
Time allows me to sit, watch
and wait as joy find it's way.

The ritual teaches a lesson that
love isn't always so easy.
You may have to wait and let
the pieces fall in place.

In the end birds are singing
songs around Laila and I.
I understand how the ritual
goes because of who she is.

Somebody's standing in the window
and they're quietly watching me.
There's not a sign of any movement
but somebody is trying to see.

It's late at night and there's nothing
but darkness all around.
I can feel the presence of a stalker
and he's not making a sound.

Inside of my head he has a tight grip
and he holding me around my waist.
He's about to do something to make
another neighborhood case.

I tried to scream, fight and scratch but
I couldn't quite prevail.
He sent out an unwanted feeling of me
sinking down to the bottom of a well.

He's gotten the best of me and now it's  
much, much too late.
Mother told me to stay away from this
place because there was too much at stake.

The stalker's standing in front of me now
and there's nothing that I can do.
All of the things mother tried to tell me
they're all about to come true.

There are storms in this world that
sometime make us all want to cry.
God keeps His umbrella of love open
on rainy days to keep us dry.

There are days when we experience
at least two types of weather.
God said that He'll never leave our
sides, for He'll make it better.

Trust in Him to protect us because our
bible tells us so.
God use these rainy days to always
make our flowers grow.

So when the storms come and we
think today is going to be a mess.
Be mindful and think about all the
sunny days when we've been bless.

Imagine being on an island
and when you look up you
realize that the sun is black.

Silence in the room please, would
you please stop talking.
Listen and learn because there is a
voice speaking softly.

The voice said nothing about pain,
nor screams of destruction.
Listen closely, the voice speaks about
love, understanding and peace.

Be quiet and listen to everything that
this voice has to say.
It whispers the sounds that only God
directs to be said.

Listen and follow the directions that's
been given to you.
Walk away from all things that is not
suitable in the eyes of the Lord.

This voice speaks quietly to us all on
a one on one basis.
This voice speaks to us daily and all
through the night.

Listen I said, the voice has a message
for you and I.
It whispers words that we may never
hear again at a moments notice.

The voice speaks quietly again as
it tells us to lay our heads down.
Sleep, sleep, sleep and then there
is a sudden silence.

Listen, the voice has gone away
and it speaks no more.
We all had a choice to follow the
voice of God, how did we do?

I had a dream about a witch,
she stood in my path trying
to ask for forgiveness for
murders she committed some
years ago.

yet I have nothing to offer
her, nor do I care about her
nor do I care about her wishes,
the witch could have made the
better sacrafice years ago.

the witch chose to **** my
family blood for the sake of
a sack of change, a career
she never had the talent to be,
someone told her she was cute.

the witch allowed this poison
to go to her head, seven snakes,
an abortion knife and a brother
who never had the guts to tell
her no.

the witch killed me with an
double edged sword in which
i call ****** for money and
life for money all stirred in
a boiling *** of deadly brew.

in the end the witch always
perish from the spells that she
casted upon others, somewhere
she picks up the vile, drinks
from it and then she die.

the kid inside of you
disappeared and
became something
else.

a wolf that disguised
itself as a lamb
you destroyed
life.

you set traps to only
appease yourself
you mangled
viciously.

you were determined
you were strong
taking others
selfishly.

you now roam alone
the victor basting
in self
glorification.

everything seem to be damp, wet and cold
there are many young faces in the crowd
but everybody appears to be old.

the clowns are tumbling and the children play
yet nobody seem to have any kind of clues as
to what the faces of clocks may say.

leaves have fallen covering the ground in gold
even birds have become extra silent listening
for signs of winter and it's bitter cold.

everything disappears by the ends of each day
because darkness changes everything as time
slowly slips away.

something is bothering me
and i can't figure it out.
is this what an unstable mind
is suppose to be all about.

i see circles of colors moving  
around inside of my head.
when things should be blue
i see green instead.

the wagon is late getting here
to pick me up.
someone left me a couple of pills
outside my door in a cup.

maybe they see the things that i
sometimes see inside of me.
they're too afraid to tell exactly
what they see.

maybe i'm expected to take this
trip all by myself.
should i keep swallowing pills
until there's nothing left.

it's so much easier for the world
to treat me this way.
seeking my pleasure from a bottle
of pills each and everyday.

my mind is somewhere but
my heart can't find it.
thoughts are ruling my head
but i'm being mislead.

i don't like who i am and it's
a pretty **** shame.
i can't seem to find or choose
which me i want to be.

my thoughts aren't clean and
i'm madder than hell.
to be wise is something that
i've loss long ago.

mentally the brain it's a cold
round empty ball.
an open field filled with empty
thoughts which are unpleasing.

defeated is what it is and it's has
a surreal way of taking over me.
there's no love there's no joy and
within i have no peace.

taken the steps to disqualify
the used of your name.
she'd blown you many kisses
even when she's ashamed.

she's never said a word when
she knew you were wrong.
she sits gladly and she listens to
the words of your sad song.

there's never a time when she
won't give in.
she's the one and only standing
when you needed a friend.

tired of working the long hours
that keeps her away from the kids.
she's losing faith in you because
you've taken she'd money she's hid.

tears fall from her eyes because she
doesn't know how to get rid of you.
she see's the bottle in your hand and
she doesn't know what you'll do.

verbally and physically she's been
beaten down to the ground.
she's just waiting for the days when
you're no longer around.

all of the evil thing you've done to
her oh! she'll never forget.
but once she's gone those will be the
days that you'll always  regret.

tonight I judge a man without
knowing his name.
my thoughts were the worst
with no mercy to gain.

we've never spoken before nor
did I know where he lived.
my view of him were the bad
comments that I had to give.

he didn't know I was there
until he turned around.
when he looked at me, I saw
a face without a frown.

smile he did as if that was all
his face knew how to do.
he excused himself and said
to me may God bless you.

thinking to myself and all the
bad thoughts I had.
judgment on an unknown man
sure was sad.

he walked away and before he
completely left.
he turned and ask me could I
find God within myself.

strange as it was, the question
totally made my day.
as if God stepped in and said
don't treat a man that way.

here I am judging a man and
who he was I didn't know.
it could have been the face
that God decided to show.

Darkness can't take away this hurtful pain
so I try to picture colors at night.
I try to mingle outside during the day but
I can't stand to be in the light.

A cloud of color is moving inside of my head
so I feel like I'm on cloud number nine.
There's a terror of realizing who I am today,
the new me is bound to be very unkind.

Confusion is the new normal day and there
is nothing better after dark.
Depression becomes the colorful new vehicle
that can never be taken out of park.

Dull colors constantly take away the energy
that's suppose to be a brand new day.
Leaving the remnants of a broken dream and
a body of decay.

There is no way to get away from the colors
that this world forces you to see.
Unless the forces of the God lead us down
a path that uncovers the hidden key.

thoughts of danger
acts of violence
self pity
always find it's way
inside my dreams.

destruction, malice,
cruelty and fear  
take place
of thoughts
that should be
a smiling face.

hostility
forceful actions
unwarranted
only to satisfy
your dreams.

pointed knives
dangerous hatred
expelled promises
of tomorrows
sunshine.

distance and years
apart
won't erase
the pain
caused by you.

frightful visions
of flying fist
words of anger
unwarranted
evil.

years ago
still here today
it happened
inside my dream
it never goes away.

sometimes you have to wallop in
the mess thats created around you.
you try to run, you can't get away
you try to hide but you're always
seen.

scream as loud as you can, but no
one really cares about what you're
going thru, so it seems that you're
out there all alone, nobody but you.

get up, face it, what do you expect
someone to come running to solve
the mess you've made.
no one can make this right,
except you.

stand up for yourself and stop
looking for self pity. before you
created this awful, awful mess
you were doing just fine, weren't
you.

What's wrong if I have a car
that's just like yours.
My house and yard is free
of debris.
My fence is white
just like yours.

what's wrong?

I don't bother you at all
yet you dislike me.
I believe in freedom just
like you.
Why are you so right and
in your eyes everything
about me is so wrong.

what's wrong?

I love my children and
I do my best to teach
them the right way
to go.
Yet in your eyes they don't
deserve to have freedoms
like you want to claim for
yourself.

what's wrong?

What's fair is fair as it should
be for the world including
people like you and me.
Choose to see love and peace
yet you seek to destroy.
What's in your mind and
embedded in your heart
it's troubling to me.

what's wrong?

Feeling pale from the turbulent
times of the pass.
Tons of uneasiness within that
continues to last and last.

A heart of stone that's faded
without a colorful beat.
Dreams are conquered, taken
away in total defeat.

Many roads ahead leading to
nothing but dead ends.
Debris in all lanes, stirred up
by deadly whirlwinds.  

A world that exist without a
sun that shines.
Always wondering why good
things are hard to find.

A hand full of red roses they're
all withered and dead.
Peace within the soul turns out
to be nothing but lies instead.

The days of green grass, white fences
are many miles behind.
The dreams of the good neighbors and
politics are so hard to find.

Nobody takes much notice of what it
takes to run the good race.
People refuse to help one another if
it takes up a lot of space.

Greed, self destruction and less loyalty
make up the golden rule.
Nobody seem to care anymore about
a child staying in school.

Run they say and catch as many *****
as you can.
Nobody wants to talk to a man unless
there's a million dollars in his hands.

Nobody can win a battle without the
willingness to fight until the end.
What good does it do for a man if he's
the one standing without a friend.

Sometimes I don't know about
who I am.
I puzzle myself trying to figure
out who I am.

Am I the crazy one, the one who's
crazy.
Am I the one who can't be the
one who's misunderstood.
Do I care to even try to be the one
to understand just who I am.

Who am I

What do I stand for

Is it really me who wants to
be who I am.

Sometimes I wonder.

When winter comes snowflakes fall
Icy weather is on call
Now it's time to bundle up
Tea and hot cocoa in our cups
Entertaining ourselves with Christmas fun
Running down snow slopes to get our snowman done.

Sometimes changes seem unfair
Especially if it seems nobody else
seem to care.

Walking this world going from
place to place, never finding one
to fill the empty space.

Changes sometimes come and
they may surely go, like notes to
a song that nobody know.

This world of ours has falling so
far behind. Maybe we can turn it
around before the end of time.

a torn sole which collect
painful rocks all along the
way.

the heels have collected
wedges formed by the
pounding of the stone.

collection of scruffs that's
formed rough art from the
miles of travel each day.

tied to fake comfort to
makes the steps easier
to make.

old and no longer needed
but faith has it grips to say
take one more step today.

It's the silence of the mind that causes
us all to talk as we sleep.
Sometimes the conversations end on a
happy note, sometimes we may weep.

Visions of the past appear without any
warning signs at all.
Kind of like invisible water in an aisle
that may cause many of us to fall.

There are times when the ghost appear
openly, choosing not to hide.
We're found to be kidding ourselves so
greatly thinking the ghost have died.

In the darkness of the soul's dungeons
many skeletons lay all about.
Creepily dragging the body deeper into
the ground without an easy way out.

I put in my time only to find that
I'm not getting anything back.
Besides that nobody wanted to hear
my thoughts and that's a fact.

Solutions offered on daily basis and
that's about all I can do.
Words are being spoken out loud but
I'm not hearing anything from you.

You're just standing there in my way
when you should be moving.
You claim that you have it all under
control but you don't know what
you're doing.

I've done all I can to be your very best friend
You turn your back and walk away.
I ask you if you need me to help you but
you only continue to push me away.

My time is short and I need an answer so
will you please show some respect.
I'm being patient with you and there is
nothing you're doing but only making
making me have regrets.