Who am I?
Without the lies?
Who do I live for?
Can I be more?

Who am I when nobody’s watching?
Am I detaching?
When people aren’t seeing,
Am I fleeing?

Why do I have this constant need
To become what people need till I bleed?
Why can’t I live for myself
Instead of for themselves?

Why do I feel the need to lie?
Or feel the need to hide?
The need to protect myself from what?
The reason I keep the door shut.

I wish I knew
Why I’m so blue,
Why everything feels so strange,
Am I deranged?

I think I need help,
But nobody hears my yelp.
I’ll try to fix me,
Maybe I can finally be free.

Hey god,
I know I’m quite odd.
I know I don’t fit in.
I don’t feel okay in my own skin.

Does everyone feel like this?
Is everyone in this abyss?
Or is this just me?
I feel the opposite of free.

I should be happy.
I shouldn’t be feeling ******.
I’m “fortunate,”
But I feel like I have nothing to celebrate.

I feel like I need help.
I don’t trust myself.
But therapy’s expensive,
And I’m too defensive.

The devil has many appearances,
And we all think we see him on certain occurrences.
The devil doesn’t have red eyes or horns,
He isn’t a rose full of thorns.

It could be your ex best friend,
That you thought was such a godsend.
It could be an abusive parent,
That was the exact opposite of transparent.

The truth is we don’t know who he is,
We can’t ace that quiz.
He could be right in front of us,
And some of us wouldn’t even cause a fuss.

The devil
Some might say he’s the final level
The final piece in the puzzle
That one thing that causes us to struggle

But for all we know one of us could be the devil
We might not be rebels


Some say he hides in plain sight
With all his might
But others say he stays away in his domain
Waiting to cause pain

But we’ll never know
So let’s not spoil the show

I care so much
And I feel a hunch
That you don’t care as much
It makes me feel like I need a crutch

I care so ******* much
One might say I care “too ******* much”
But I don’t care
Finding someone like you is rare

That's what I thought
But you left me to rot
I don’t get it
Why did you throw me in this pit?

What the **** did I do to deserve this?
Why did you make my life such a twisted abyss?
I know I’m not perfect
But is this the final verdict?

Have I been sentenced to life without you?
Can I not sue?
Can I not fight this sentence?
Time is of the essence

Can you please explain
Why did you make me feel so much pain?
How did I **** it up?
Why’d you slam the door?

I must’ve ****** it up
That's why you leave me on ignored
Can you please come back,
And not attack?

I sound like a crazy ex
Which of us makes this feel so complex?
It's just a simple misunderstanding
Why does it feel so reprimanding?

Why did you target me,
Not the other three?
What did I do to deserve this ****?
Did it have to end with this split?

Can I at least get an apology
You broke my heart that's basic biology
If anyone's guilty it's you
Not me and the crew

Don’t make it seem like its my fault
Stop it with the salt
It's like you’re rubbing it on my wounds
Don’t feed me to the hounds

Can I just get that
Just a simple chat
Where you confess
To starting this mess

To dragging it out of proportion
To causing this distortion

I’m the problem,
I know you want me out of your system.
I can see it in your eyes,
You’re hiding under your disguise.

I know how you feel,
I can’t believe this is real.
I thought we would be here for life,
But we didn’t even reach close to midlife.

You say you don’t hate me,
But you’d leave me to drown at sea.
The water freezing,
MUffling my pleading.

I’ll beg for forgiveness,
Like I’m a deadly illness.
You’ll wish me dead,
Your hate making you see red.

But it’s fine,
I’ll still shine.
You’ll act unaffected,
LIke the bullets were deflected.

So what are we now?
Do you want me to take a bow?
Do you want me to run out crying?
Or do you simply want me dying?