Thoughts. Feelings.
Creeping into my mind to combine into what are my deepest insecurities.

Hiding behind my cloak of confidence, cockiness. Confidence?

Either way its a sham. At least thats what my therapist says.

Wait therapist?

OH my brain. My brain. My brain is my therapist.
My therapist hates me. Hates my thoughts. Wants to be alone even though loneliness is what I fear most.

Girlfriend hanging out with other guys… hmm… thats an insecurity. Want to talk about it but I can’t. I know it’ll start a fight. As If I have any ******* right, to complain about her with other people. Her with other people. Thats an inse….****. I already said that. Sorry brain.x

Parents tell my generation

"Do your school, get good grades, so you can someday go to college."

As if academic grades are the only way to knowledge

They tell us "after college get a job and make good money because money is the only way to wealth."

After that, we're supposed to get married have two kids and all be in good health.

That's the American dream but it's also a lie

Because every ******* day millions of people will die

They'll never get a chance to show the world what they're made of

But if we ignore that fact everything will be fine

So it is a shame really, how self-focused people can be

But I too am guilty of this, yeah, no ones as selfish as me

Like most people I claim to be a Christian,

Caring about others more than myself

But I just say that for recognition to be given another trophy to put on that shelf

That shelf of lies that I like to keep hidden

So, shhh! Don't ******* talk about it!

It's Voldemort, don't same his name it's forbidden

Myself? Yeah I've been through some **** but most of its self-inflicted

My therapist says it's because I'm self-conflicted

But it's all because I make selfish decisions

But "I'll try to better myself"

Or at least that's what I tell my parents

See I know there's nothing we can do about death

It comes at the most random times, we don't know how much time we have left

So I'll keep keeping on and not buying into the lie

That if we work hard enough everything will be fine

Because that's not always true and I speak from experience

It's not always about grades, talent, it's not about your appearance.

So Women don't need makeup to be beautiful

And not all guys are ******* even tho some people might think so

People are people no matter who they are

The fact of it is some people in life just don't get too far.

So don't blame every little thing on sexist, racists, or even politicians

They're people too, they just have different opinions

I know this poem is all over the place so don't think it has a meaning

I just wanted to say a few things. But thanks for reading