A clear blue night
Lightening in the distance
Thunder coming closer
I shut myself away to hide
But the lightening strikes
Once again I go numb
Free from pain..

Thunder echoing in my head
The sting of lightening on my face
The mist of rain runs down my cheeks..

The thoughts fly around in my head
Like a bird with no wings
Lost with nowhere to go
Yet, I always seem to be going the wrong way

I turn to find myself alone
Alone but not lonely
I yearn for someone...anyone
To come save me from this black hole
That keeps getting darker
Alone..... By myself

Twisted illusions of what I became
Reality becoming one and the same
Dancing and turning as a good puppet does
Rewarded with love, or at least told that I was.
Cast aside and replaced
When I danced with no strings
Lonliness I guess, is all freedom brings
All the dancing I did was instantly erased,
Distorted reality, instead took its place

In a hole six feet deep
Relaxed, I sleep
Suffocating on dreams
Glorious it seems
Sadly my eyes open
I breathe in the air
Darkness surrounds me
Blank lifeless stare
Alone in the cold
I reach it my hand
Feeling your fingers
Pulling me to stand.
Do I love you or hate you
Questions fill my head,
The answers, elusive
Confusion instead

Silence mistaken for unintelligent thoughts. Inability to voice an opinion must be lack of one. How do you undo years of protection?
The life raft of self-reflection and silent contemplation still afloat,
Will I drown if I jump, or will I find water deep enough to stand?  And if I do, how far will I be able to walk?
You can't walk very far crawling
And you can't swim if you can't stand
And I wonder if the life jacket you're holding is my size

Can you teach me, make me see?
So much I've lost along the way
Remind me how, touch my heart
Make me feel, I've forgotten how
Consumed by chaos, lost in pain,
So cold inside just trying to maintain.
You touch my face, it hurts my heart
I look at you, we drift apart
You take my hand, I follow you
You have my heart, I'm trusting you

Chasing behind Every echo in my head,
So cold am I now, forget all I've said.
Searching for silence, I face my brick wall,
Circle back yet again, or break it and fall?
How far can you get, when running in place?
Protected by walls, that leave no escape....
Confused and afraid, I stare back at me,
The image distorted, my demons, all I see
You reach out your hand, offering sanity it seems,
Bricks start to crumble,  I run and I scream.