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I hide away
from a place
you won’t
find me…

I can’t find
myself through
my words
when I’m hurt—
I’m scared.
when you
ask me
if I’m ok

I wish I could
define my
emotions—
I’m drowning
in the ocean,
stuck in the
shattered
moment

But instead
I pretend
and say
“I’m fine”
You wanna
talk now,
But I walked
out

Every minute
I sit on that couch,
Your critics
start to
speak to
me

You said you
would stay,
But you walked
away

I’m done
playing your
rigged games—
you throw
shame on me,
then hate
started
to eat me alive
and you blame
It’s my fault
all along,
Even though
you dealt
the same cards

every time
You beg
me back,
we fallback to the
Same trap,
Carrying the map
of no hope,
I wanna let go
of these cracked
memories that
were never meant
to be,
But only me
to see—

I can’t breathe,
I can barely speak—
And I’m sorry,
But we can’t be…
I’m breaking,
collapsing
into pieces,
trapped in
my bathroom—
crying…

shaking
in fear,
tears fall
against the
floor with stress,
My chest heavy,
Barely breathing,
I’m a mess—
barely holding
on

Not ready to
leave yet,
Afraid to ask
“I need help”…
I’m a little
unsteady
To find
the light
is like to
find hope.
I fight
the voices.
My mind
bury burdens
every night

Dragging me
in the dark,
Stabbing
my heart—
Left me
broken

To find
the light,
you sometimes
become the dark
to survive—
To break
apart what
controls you—
To hold
onto you
and never
lose you—
To let go—
To hope…
Can’t sleep,
can’t breathe,
can’t see myself,
can’t seek help—
can’t release
what kills me,
can’t be free
when anxiety
eats me inside.

Can’t think
with these lies,
about to sink,
heart's breaking,
mind’s deteriorating,
waiting alone
in the cold,
Waking up,
aching in pain,
Hurricane of thoughts
block my path,
don’t know
where to go—

Searching
for hope,
A light that might
cut through the
endless nights
I’m not crying
because
you’re gone.
I’m dying
because
You still
slice me deep
inside of my
mind—
Trying to
end me
every night.
I feel
empty--
lonely—
Every night,
by myself,
playing rewind
of lies
again...

I panic…
cry…
can’t breathe…
I scream—
“I’m sorry”.
Afraid
to lose
you…

I rarely ask
for help,
it's scary
to ask
for help—

“PLEASE HEL—”

The voices
cut me off...
parasites
infecting
my brain.
Flames
ignite inside—
I’m in pain,
I blame myself,
I remain cold—

“You’ll always be alone—”

I don’t know
where to go—
I’m trapped…
I don’t have
a map
to hope—

HELP ME!

Please…
the silence
is loud—
and bitter…

I feel
so empty—
cold—
alone—
dreaming
for hope—
while drifting
slowly…
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