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Pallavi Jun 2019
Hey there, Anxiety
How are you doing today?
Deciding to claw me down again?
Sure, I'm already your victim
I'm just tired of pretending that I'm okay even when I'm not
You've left me shattered
The darkness I used to be once scared of is what I am filled up with today
I just wake up everyday, go out there and smile and grin like nothing ever happened
But behind that every grin and smile, there is a demon
A demon making me crack my knuckles
A demon making me bite the inside of my cheek
A demon making me gnaw my bottom lip
A demon making me shake my leg so fast that I don't ever realise it
A demon making me climb to the rooftop everyday for a getaway
A getaway from the people around me
A getaway from the reality
A getaway from my thoughts
A getaway from my soul
And just as soon as I think I'm fine, there it is again
Pulling me down into a puddle I can't swim in
An ocean full of sharks
Eyeing me like they are gonna **** me right away
I need somebody to hold me and tell me everything is alright
The molecules inside me undergo a change every second
A moment I'm so happy without knowing the reason why
And the very next second, I'm crying like my whole life is a lie
My biggest fear now is not you, Anxiety
My biggest fear now is reality
I'm too afraid to have a reality check
Coz my reality is me against the whole world
Just barely a second before I fall down on my knees
And shatter my own bones
And slit my own wrist to escape this
I need a parallel world in which everything is not like this
A world where I am accepted for who I am without my fun being made
Where there is no you, dear anxiety
Where I am free to fly like wind and flow like a river
Where I can face myself in the mirror
But then I snap back to reality
And When I look in the mirror
I don't see my reflection
I see an introvert you've created, Anxiety
My reflection is you
And this might not make sense to everyone when I say this
But deep in my heart I know
That there is one person
In one corner of this world
Who understands what I mean when I say this,
Sometimes you don't need an escape from the world,
You need an escape from your own soul
So eat me all you want Anxiety
Turn me into the person you want me to be
I know I'm halfway there
I will not fight you
I will not oppose you
I will not counter you
I am standing right here
I was always standing right here
    
                            -Pallavi
Pallavi Jun 2019
The memoirs cord wrapped around my mind
Pulling my soul towards those lovely times
When we didn't care about what we did
Being together for us was the most exciting thing

We were meant to be together throughout time
But destiny had its own lines
But we still held each other tight
For our love was eternal and prime

With the strike of the dark clock
The war between the two worlds broke out
Being a soldier your duty called you
All you left me before going was a note saying "I love you❤"

Tears running down my cheeks
The note in my hand
Making me week
Telling me how a heartbreak feels

I pull myself together
Give myself faith
That no matter what happens you will come back to me
Either alive or wrapped in the nation's ensign

The war grew wild
Throwing everyone into an abyss
The news of deaths and blood
Flew around the town like ravens

A month passed
The war finally ended
Soldiers came back
Both alive and dead

I ran around looking for you
Saw your best friend who went with you
I went over to him and asked about you
He hugged me tight and said he was sorry for the bad news

He handed me a paper
Said "He asked me to give it to you if he didn't get back"
I took the paper and came back home
Got to know that the funeral was tomorrow

Pulled myself together and opened the note
"Hey Baby, this is for if I don't make it
Don't come and cry on my grave
Coz your happiness is all I'll ever crave
You know I've and will always love you
But you have to move on and start a life new
If you miss me don't weep
Just playback in your mind all our sweet memories
Just look back at your shadow
Coz that shadow will be me
And last but not the least
No matter what happens
With thee will always be me"

Next day your funeral
They decorated your coffin for the burial
Kissed your head for the last time
And said  "you will always be mine"

Consider today
No day has passed
That I haven't come to your grave
And cried as well as laughed

You are not here with me
But will always be
Even after so many years
You are my best company

— The End —