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Aug 2022 · 130
girl boss.
PETE Aug 2022
Our cheek bones do not match.
Our faces do not resemble each other.
She does not share the same love for
the outdoors that I do.

But,
it really is easy to tell that we are in fact brother
and sister.
I know.
I know because when I tell her
I cant fall asleep with beer still left in an open can
she gets it.
In fact she laughs
and says
you do that too!?

I know she is my sister because
we have the same sleepy mother.
The mother that napped too much
when we were younger.
The mother that successfully slept away suicide.
The mother that ensured we lost the genetic lottery.

I know she is my sister because
she knows dark days.
Days that don’t seem to start
or end.
Days that at times
make you regret promising that
I would never do it.
Dark days that we intimately share.

I know she is my sister because
when she looked at me with
wet childhood in her eyes
and whispered
you do not owe him anything
that she spoke from experience.
She sympathizes that you can not choose your family,
but sometimes
your family can choose
you.  

I know she is my sister because
of her beauty.
Beauty that is powerful.
Beauty that does not dull with pain
but grows as it survives.
Beauty that does not resemble a flower
but a hurricane.

It would be impossible to tell just
by looking at us that we are related.
But it is impossible to forget once you know.
Jun 2022 · 61
camel crush.
PETE Jun 2022
His name is Tyler.
Works eight hour shifts
and every two he takes a smoke break
its like my reward
four cigarettes every day isn't all that bad.

yeah
i'm buying my second pack today
i got this girl that is adamant about me stopping
a good start to a conversation to break up the gas station monotony
she really loves me man.
I take the pack.
Slam it against my empty palm.
Spin it between my thumb
and *******.
Slam it again.
its good though

Tyler's smile is like a hopeful wish.
Maybe he has a woman himself
its worth it if you like her enough
maybe he already lost her.

I spare him the usual dialogue
shes worth it
as I spin.
Slam.
Spin.
Slam.
have a good night man
A couple airy coughs open up my throat
take it easy
Spin.
Slam.
-
A gas station attendant at 10:26pm knows about you.
He knows that you love me enough to ask me to stop complacently killing myself.
And I know.
So that should be enough.
But these adderrall binges have me more on edge
than the eight hundred miles that separate us.
Nov 2018 · 201
coffee.
PETE Nov 2018
Jeans full of ***.
Skin exposed chest.
She walked through the door
with the gait of a peacock.

She order too hot coffee.
Brushed her dark hair aside.
The barista's voice shivered as it left his lips
i like your shirt
(what he meant to say was *******)
She gave the man what she owed.
A simple
i know
left her lips as she pivoted on her left heel.

I watched her walk down a hallway much too small for her.
A hallway full of eyes that followed her hips' slow journey.
A hallway that she was convinced was created for only herself.

I walked outside as she was lost to a corner.
Pulled a cigarette from the confines of my pocket.
Stuck it between my lips
and reached for my lighter...
well ****
it wasn't there
there goes my ******* morning.
Nov 2018 · 85
on 1st.
PETE Nov 2018
There is a girl with a green shirt
and a tanned stomach
talking to a boy that is nothing but that.
A boy.
His hands are shaking
at the weight of his companions voice.
She is too beautiful for him.
They are all too beautiful for the boys
that wear khaki shorts
and striped tees.

The sky is clear.
My cigarette burns red.
My coffee is bitter.
Life is good
but life will be better tomorrow.

My father wanted to hangout again tonight.
His meetings are going to run pretty late
so we won't go see that movie.
That's fine
and I understand
so more than likely I'll just sit here and read poetry.
Maybe write something.
I will continue to try
and stop smoking.

The sky is getting darker.
Shadows are growing longer.
My coffee is nearly empty.
Life is good
but life is going to be better tomorrow.

My mother is worried about me.
She found my tattoos
and asked me
why would you do that to yourself?
I told her
i was intoxicated
and that
brandon did it
This didn't spare me the talk
about drinking alcohol
and what it will
eventually do to you.  
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I am
already an alcoholic.
A **** good one at that.

The mosquitoes are coming out.
A man is playing the flute.
I have four dollars in my pocket.
Life is good
but life is going to be better tomorrow.

The boy touches her thigh now.
He is sitting next to her crossed legs
and is somehow moving closer to her without actually moving.
She smiles now.
It reminds me of you.
They all remind me of you.

Life is good
but life is going to be better tomorrow.
Tomorrow will always be better
with you.

— The End —