Everyone talks about
The thorns on roses
The bottoms of bottles
The wars of attrition
The sinks coated in blood
The tide that always turns
The pills on the floor.

No one talks about
The flower on top
The cork of a new one
The victories of wars
The mirrors holding pretty smiles
The ocean that is stunning and still
The tablets that aid in stability.

I used to always wonder why
I guess I still do but
I'm scared that it's because
The dark is more victorious.

My body is no temple
Its been given out for nothing
Been a wide open door for calamity
Not to mention my abuse of it

My mind is no escape
Its been picked apart for everything
Been a sewage drain for misfortune
Not to mention your abuse of it

Pulling strings better than a puppeteer
Baby you know there's no way
Not any way out of here

You have me caught in this twilight
And you know there's no way
Not any way I can continue to fight

I used to think
The world outside my mind
Loved me more
Now I think
The world inside my mind
Just hates me more.

Turn the page
Or burn the book

Re-cast the movie
Or become the villain

Sell my soul
Or live with who I am

Climb the mountain
Or beg at the bottom

Watch the sunrise
Or die in the dark

Don't say this is the last time

Don't let me become just a thread
In your ****** up tapestry

Don't send me into the wind
To become the ash of an old flame

Don't make this the last time

**** getting anything off my chest
This pressure to be anything
Is enough compression
**** trying to be like the rest
This normalization
Is enough suppression

I'll never be everything you expect
I'll always be anxious
I'll always have bouts of depression
I'll always feel that I'm not enough
I'll always want to give up
I'll always want the easy way out
I'll never get this off my chest

I hate the calm
And yet exude it
Appearing aloof
And yet pulling my hair out
When things appear fine
And I know they aren't
I suppose it's because
"In a quiet pool, the devil dwells."

I got my teeth smashed
On a pedestal I never stood on
Choked out by a ribbon
I could have never ******* won

I'm in a new era
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Barely breathing and scraping
I'm meaner than ever and inspired

Feel my body failing
Look at my hands and
They aren't even mine
Writing all these words
Stare at the paper and
They aren't even mine

Sometimes it's hard to be alive
I imagine somebody knows that more
Than I do

Looking out windows for answers
Only to be greeted by suicide
What is the point

Somehow the secret must be
To remember that somebody knows
More than I do

Crawl for acceptance
Beg for indifference
You're just an investment
A mere disappointment

Never going to be
Everything you want me to be

How can I change
If I'm the same person

**** me if you desire
Let me see the brightest hellfire

Let me sleep in peace for once
Let me not feel this way ever again
Let me have the strength to carry on
Let me find my way in this world
Let me see who I really am

I keep asking for these things
And no god answers my calls
But I can't blame any of them though
I don't even answer my own soul

Haven't been myself
But who am I kidding
I don't even know who I am
I want you to stay
Want you to leave
I'm hoping I'm forever
And hoping you realize I'm not it
You call it sabotage
I call it suicide
Is it honesty do you think?
Depression or regression
Either way I don't like this
Don't pick me up
You wouldn't understand
Please I just want to bleed
Don't let me drown
Please I just want to breathe
You know this need
I know I'm ****** up
Won't even deny it
Do what you have to
Say what you want
I can't believe it nor want to
I love you coming off your lip
Fifty fifty but please
No coin flip