you only realize
how bad you needed something
when it finally shows up
like when you've been thirsty
drinking from toxic puddles
managing with just that
until real water arrives
and then you understand
you never had what you needed
now that you do
although it seems foreign
you cannot get enough of it

in this lifetime
i am yours
in another lifetime
someone else's
i am aware
of the others
if only faintly
and i hate to speak
for the others
but this one with you
by far the best

I curse my apathy
It will be the death of me
Want to hide in the darkest cave
Where no one will dare to save
Clearly lacking in all possible departments
My heart just one of many empty compartments

most aim to be calm
not let the world
affect every aspect of life
its not a bad plan
i just prefer to be
a little more like tea
steeping in silence

You make it difficult
To write about loss
And tragedy
And heartbreak
And all the other things
I start writing something
You just smiling
Just looking in my direction
Is enough to wash it away
You ask what I'm writing
I answer honestly
And say nothing
Because what I was going to
Isn't as beautiful and joyous
As you

The feeling is fleeting
And what's collapsing the ceiling
The moments I've lost
And the friends that I've tossed
Love that won't last
And memories of the past
The waves keep on breaking
And the world keeps on taking
I'd play a pitiful little song
And the notes would be dead wrong

At that point in life
I don't have a will
But I do have suicide notes
For each person I love
Close enough.