Sometimes it's hard to be alive
I imagine somebody knows that more
Than I do

Looking out windows for answers
Only to be greeted by suicide
What is the point

Somehow the secret must be
To remember that somebody knows
More than I do

Being open
Has only brought judgement
Has only brought pity
Has only brought misunderstanding

Being closed
Has only brought silence
Has only brought loathing
Has only brought cynicism

Oh what to do...

Turn the page
Or burn the book

Re-cast the movie
Or become the villain

Sell my soul
Or live with who I am

Climb the mountain
Or beg at the bottom

Watch the sunrise
Or die in the dark

I don't want to feel anything
Yet I complain when I feel nothing.

I don't want to find love again
Yet I complain when no one wants me.

I don't want to talk anymore
Yet I complain when I'm not heard.

They say I need to move on
Say I can't see the ghost of you
Yet I don't even have that
Memories that don't exist suddenly
Photographs burned out of spite

I look in the rear view and
Don't even have the ghost of you?

You're beautiful
Carefree and forgiving
Loyal and perfectly imperfect
Who would've thought
Your greatest flaw would be

Me

I want to swallow pills
Put me to sleep yet
I can't even swallow the guilt

I want to hang from some rope
Couldn't tie the knot
Just to keep you close

I want to inhale car exhaust
I'm still choking on you
And your perfumes

I want to jump off a bridge
Just fall so slowly
But I fell so long ago