Can you see me?

Yes. You’re beautiful... I wish I looked like you.

No… The real me... Look closer.

What do you mean?

Look… At my eyes.

They’re… Blue?

Closer…

You have… Dark circles under them?

Yes…

So you’re tired?

What else.

Um… your eyes aren’t just blue... They’re glossy.

Yes.

Are you sick?

Yes.

Are you okay?

No… but that’s not the point. Look closer… Look at my face.

I told you. You look beautiful…

Closer.

You’re very thin… Do you diet?

Something like that…

Tell me your secret!

You didn’t look close enough…

Excuse me?

Look closer…

Uh… You’re hair. You're hair is well kept.

What else.

It’s… brown?

Touch it.

Touch… your hair?

Just do it.

Oh… It’s so brittle.

Yes.

Why…?

Forget it… Look closer.

You’re...shaking.

Yes…

Are you cold?

More than that...

What's wrong?

Everything…

Oh...I'm so sorry..

Don't be… Just…

What?

You called me beautiful…

Yes...

Do you still wish you looked like me?... At this cost?

No…

Remember this…Always look closer.

I will.

Always look closer… Always.

What have you done to me?
I was once strong and witted, but now, I find myself falling to my knees.
The world has come to a halt.
Every direction I turn, leads back to you.
When I'm close, I feel like an unzipped coat on a cold winter day.
I scold myself for letting my guard down.
But then you come closer... And wash away my worries, sorrows, and plagues.
Your touch is the best medicine.
Your smile is my sunlight.
Your quirks are so beautiful.
I want to spend every minute with you...
You'll never know how much you truly mean to me.
I love you.

I’m in love with him.
But he’ll never see it.
He doesn’t know my heart breaks when he smiles.
That slice of joy could never belong to me.
Anyone he loves, I nod my head and approve… they could be the nicest person, but I can only imagine me and him. I try to push the thought away and be happy for them.
Inside, I want to turn his head toward mine.
But it would only ruin what we share. The indescribable love between two good friends.
I scold myself for being selfish.
Wanting to ruin the connection and attach a bigger link.
I hide behind the fantasy that it could work.
I wear a mask that conceals my wishes.
When I place it over my face, my heart is crushed.
But I brush it off, for I never should have let myself fall… with no one coming to catch me.

You’re right there.
Why can’t I reach out to touch you?
Hold me, and say it’s okay…
But when I blink, you ripple.
You’re really miles away

I’m losing my mind.
All I can do is keep quiet and smile…
When I talk to you I feel safe, I can relax for a while…

As soon as you leave, it sets in again.
All I ever was, was an empty tin.
I was once filled with joy and hope.
Never questioning the struggles of holding my head high and learning to cope…

My fears, and thoughts are reaching in all directions.
I shout for them to leave me be.
They have no business latching onto me.

But what can I do?
What can I say?
It’s not like this would make sense to you anyway…

Because I am my own destroyer...
My own butcher...
My own killer…

You yell “Don’t give up! You can do this!”
But I have already given in.
My mind's made up.
That’s where this all started,
That’s where it’ll  end.
If I convince myself I’ll be okay for a little while,
I’m only playing pretend.

We’ll see where this ends...

But when I see your smile this whole cycle starts over again.
I'm doing this for you,
You're the reason I don't stop fighting,
the reason I make amends,
So real, this could never be pretend.

You're there through thick and thin.
I could never thank you enough,

My friend

Your eyes turn the colorful world you once knew, into a menacing, grey-scaled, wonder, from which you in no way, under any circumstances, could be pulled.
Your thoughts drag you into a never ending obis which drain the purpose from your lungs and the words from your lips.
You long to hold someones hand, but the only support is the railing, which you grip with such a force your knuckles turn the shade of table salt.
The realization that you are on your own...
sinks in.
You make your way down the hallway,
with such determination, you could burn cities, topple skyscrapers.
The hope of surfacing is washed away,
you need help... but do you want it?
No, you don't want the never ending burden to be ****** onto the ones that you care so much about.
A burning feeling fills your ribs and clots your torso with panic as you sink to the floor.
Curling into a shell of what you once were...
Or would be... you can't make out the real or the fake.
...
Finally, you emerge back into the static world you were once in. Reassuring your eyes with color, the world seems no longer separated from your grasp...
Your friends, family, and everything you care about stand sharp in your mind... they never left you...
Why did you try to leave them?