The chances of not remembering a night are alarming,
leaving behind a void in the memory that can be quite unsettling. Sometimes, in the darkest moments, we become our own worst enemies, constantly battling with overwhelming emotions and an overwhelming urge to cry, even wishing for an escape from this overwhelming pain.

These feelings can intensify to the point that we find ourselves lingering on the edge, contemplating the unthinkable.

It's during these dark moments that we may find ourselves crafting an unsent suicide note, a testament to the despair and longing for release.
In a surreal twist, it can be disheartening to realize that the absence of a simple Wi-Fi code becomes the barrier between us and expressing our profound pain.

It's not that we're not willing to make an effort
to break free from the turmoil.
In fact, there are times when we muster the courage
to push forward, willing to endure the agony
for just a little longer.

The pressure we feel can reach a boiling point, as if we're seated
on a hot seat, where our entire existence teeters on the brink.
The weight of our entire life bears down on us, the uncertainty of our journey amplified by not truly knowing where we originated from.
Our confusion adds to the complexity, raising questions about our purpose and destination.

In the grand scheme of things, it becomes abundantly clear
that our path forward remains unknown.
Without a firm grasp on our origins, it becomes even more challenging to navigate the ambiguity of life's direction.
Despite this uncertainty, we continue to search for meaning,
hoping to find solace and purpose in the chaos that surrounds us.

The best thoughts I had were the ones in my own
darkness, where I could explore the depths of my
mind and contemplate life's mysteries.

It was in those moments of solitude that my innermost
creativity came to life, birthing new ideas and perspectives.
I felt an unparalleled sense of clarity as the darkness
enveloped me, allowing me to see my thoughts
with unparalleled clarity.

But beyond this introspective cocoon,
there was another desire that flickered within me.
I yearned to weave a tapestry of envy in the eyes of
those who dared to compare themselves to me,
especially when it came to you.

Your presence ignited a fire within me,
an unquenchable ambition to outshine and
outperform anyone who tried to stand alongside us.

My breath feels forced today,
almost as if the weight of the world is crushing
down on me, making it a struggle to inhale.

My tired heart beats with a heaviness that mirrors the
off-white shade of my worn-out Air Force 1 sneakers,
reflecting the wear and tear of my weary soul.
As I took a step into today, I found myself unable to walk,
feeling as though my feet were cemented to the ground,
paralyzed by the burdens of life.

And yet, despite the overwhelming challenges,
I hold onto the hope that even if I overstep my boundaries,
my worth as a person will not be diminished or erased.
My life, my soul, my spirit and very being are worth
more than any material possessions, including the worth
of my shoes.

I'm just a humble beggar, with nothing but
this old beggar's song resonating in my soul.
It may seem like there's something wrong with me,
but appearances can be deceiving. Deep down,
I'm content with who I am and the life I lead.

Just like a flickering candle, I find myself blowing away time,
as if trying to defy its relentless passage.
The hours slip through my fingers like grains of sand,
yet I embrace each moment with a sense of acceptance.
I don't long for death to take me away, for in doing so,
the whole world would descend into darkness,
robbing others of the light that I bring.

Though my circumstances may be humble, I find solace
in the fact that my voice can still touch hearts and minds.
With each note I sing, I seek to bring a glimmer of hope
and beauty to a world that can often be cold and unforgiving.

Just as a beggar's song tells a story of struggle and resilience,
my existence too has meaning and purpose.
I continue to embrace my role as a humble candle,
spreading warmth and illumination in a world that is in constant need of both.

Bring me up to my knees; as an intimate relationship
to a spirit's hymn, where the melodies intertwine with the
deepest desires of my soul and create a symphony
of divine connection.

As the colours of diamond eyes have witnessed my journey,
recognizing the sparkle of my worthiness as
I seek the constant reassurance of your promised presence.
As I wander through the corridors of my thoughts, I stumble
upon the resonating echoes of your blessings, reminding me
of the blessings bestowed upon me.

In stillness, I find solace, like a river resting in its bed,
emitting purity and pouring out serenity into the world
around me. May my feet be firmly cemented on the path of
faith, anchored in the belief that every step I take is guided
by a higher power.

Like the eyes of a lover gazing upon their very first love,
may my love be forever reminiscent of that initial spark,
a flame that is always hungry for more, constantly craving
deeper connections and experiences in this abundant universe.

And so, with unwavering determination, I move forward into
the calling of the creator, embracing the unknown with open
arms and trusting that every step I take will lead me closer
to fulfilling my purpose.

At times, it seems like I am skillfully navigating my way
through a block of words that could potentially hinder a
conversation, similar to how one would navigate
around the imposing Watch towers on a bustling street.

Dealing with these words becomes a sort of religion
in itself, as they stubbornly cling to their power.
Above all else, these words start to feel as if they
have been suspended in the air, waiting anxiously for
a compliment to grasp onto, like a game of
"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe," where I would willingly cross
boundaries just to capture the attention of a lover; if by her toe.

However, in doing so, our pasts would inevitably
catch up with us, causing us to confront
and let go of numerous things.

Consequently, I have transformed into a different person,
one who has hopefully grown enough to be
dispassionate towards my own individuality.
And if I were to personify my growth, I would become
that very message that I have discovered and now wish
to share with others, spreading the sense of freedom
and my new found deliverance.

As I stood there, surrounded by the smoldering remnants
of a testament fire, the fierce and burning flame of truth
licked at my lips, leaving behind the taste of ash and smoke.
It was as if the very essence of my being had been
engulfed by the scorching salts of the Pacific ocean,
causing me to drown away the weight of my past and
propel myself towards a new, transformative moment in my life.

In that pivotal moment, as I gasped for breath,
I could feel myself taking in a new perspective, as if I
were biting into the air itself to taste a vision
that the world could never comprehend.
The decision to speak out, to give voice to the dream
that had long been buried within me, felt like a bolt of
lightning striking at the core of my being, collapsing my
chest with the weight of my own despair.
Yet, behind the mask of my fixed gaze, it seemed as
though none could truly see the depths of my turmoil.

With each step I took through the blistering desert,
the searing heat pierced my skin like a thousand razor-sharp
blades, each one a painful reminder of the unstable journey
I was now embarked upon after losing my trusted steed.
My once-moist lips were now as dry as the touch of the hot,
heavy air that danced in merciless circles on my sun-drenched skin.

And as I gazed out at the horizon, it appeared as
a thin needle in my eye, relentlessly chasing the elusive
tip of the vast ocean, an ever-present hope of finding
solace and respite.

Yet, just when all seemed lost and the weight of my
journey threatened to consume me, a miraculous
sight greeted my weary eyes.
In a corner of the globe, hidden away from prying eyes,
I stumbled upon an oasis.

Its pristine water beckoned to me, tantalizingly
close to the edge of my own demise.
With each sip, it tasted as if it held the spirit of life itself,
filling my cherished cup to the brim and overflowing with
a sense of renewal and gratitude.

In that moment, as the cool water quenched
my parched throat, gratitude flooded my being.
I was no longer consumed by the burning flames of my past;
instead, I stood, reborn and rejuvenated, ready to embrace
the boundless possibilities that lay before me
— no longer burnt out.