Confined to my own mind'
-thoughts start to feel claustrophobic
While thinking of all the prettiest of things,
the pettiest of emotions are made of thorns,
And I picture them as a bundle of roses,
as I longed of chasing every dream, before
the crack of dawn, but in between all of those cracks,
All of those very dreams have left me broken.

The loneliest place, -is like not missing home
yet never truly finding happiness in my current
surroundings; as if one wasn't the loneliest  number,
I at times find myself living it all for two,
carrying the weight of solitude for both.

Still hoping I could grow wings to fly above
all of my troubles.

But instead, the days grew colder,
and I found myself caught in the clutches of a flu.
A reminder that even in the depths of my own mind,
I couldn't escape the harsh realities of life.

I was never blessed with a sporting gene,
always lagging behind in any physical activity.
As people used to say that I had a tendency
to run away from responsibilities,
as if my lack of athletic prowess was
somehow indicative of my character.

I never had a knack for understanding
mechanical things either, always struggling
to grasp the intricacies of how things worked.
So please bear with me, as I continue to work
on improving myself in this regard.

Communication has never been my strong suit either.
I never raised my voice enough to be heard,
often fading into the background
and finding solace in the silence.
It's in those moments of complete stillness
that I feel most at ease, away from the chaos of the world.

And then there's the topic of intimate conversations.
I never quite grasped the art of discussing
the more adventurous aspects of relationships.
It's not that I'm prudish or judgmental,
it's just that I never received the proper guidance
or education on the matter.
So, it's no wonder that I struggle to engage
in discussions about the more unconventional
aspects of intimacy.

And whenever I was called to the table,
I was labeled as the spoiled favorite.
However, as the youngest in the family,
I have grown accustomed to living off the scraps
left behind by my older siblings.

In the midst of a somber scene,
When emotions weighed heavy, it seemed,
Tears began their gentle stream,
Each drop carrying a taste, like morning's gleam.

These tears were not shed in haste,
But rather, in due time, they graced,
A heart burdened by life's uncertain race,
Seeking solace in his tears, and their vulnerable embrace.

As they flowed, his fractured reflection appeared,
Eyes once hopeful, now shattered and seared,
A mirror of pain and confusion, it cleared,
Inner turmoil, in hidden tears, was revealed.

In this moment of deep introspection,
Tears tasted like time's poignant reflection,
A reminder to let go, to find direction,
Like morning dew, cleansing the soul's connection.

And so, his tears marked a turning tide,
A gentle nudge towards healing's side,
Embracing vulnerability, as his tears implied,
Growth, renewal, a stronger self to abide.

I placed all my quarters on forever,
hoping for a future filled with endless possibilities.
However, deep down, I couldn't help
but doubt that the future held much change for me.
This uncertainty left me feeling indifferent, as if
I had lost my enthusiasm for what lay ahead.

    So I said, "flip the coin, and maybe I should
                 chase some tail when I'm in over my head"

An evaporating breath,
trying to photosynthesize with you
and make every kiss sweet like sugar
But I couldn't say that I loved you from
the very start,- still looking for that root word

                 ****, how you've grown on me.

Under the warm embrace of the quilted cover,
A sense of unease did swiftly hover.
The room, dimly lit, cast eerie shadows,
Whispering secrets of the night's unknown.

Then, a chilling sight did capture my gaze,
A pair of red eyes, piercing through the haze.
Fixated on me, they held a haunting stare,
A werewolf's presence, lurking in the lair.

In that moment, my vision turned awry,
A vivid shade of red, painting the sky.
Confusion clouded my thoughts, a tangled mess,
Struggling to grasp this strange distress.

Little did I know, it was my own blood,
Tainting my sight, like a crimson flood.
Before I could react, the beast did pounce,
Sharp teeth sinking in, a painful ounce.

Agony coursed through my trembling frame,
Fighting against the pain, a losing game.
The world around me blurred, darkness embraced,
Consciousness consumed, in shadows erased.

From that horrifying encounter, I learned,
The beast's true nature, cunningly discerned.
Hidden beneath darkness, it did reside,
Just as my blood-stained eyes did misguide.

A harsh reminder, appearances deceive,
The greatest dangers, often concealed, believe.
In plain sight, they patiently await,
A lesson learned, not to underestimate.

Nowhere in between,
I tried to call the Lord
Trying to reconnect;
haven't been to church
-in a while

So I'm must be missing
a bit of service.

ring, ring, ring

Is there anything out
there listening?
   I know I'm afraid of
    being lost,- I'm still searching.