I can't feel anything.
Why can't I feel anything?
Where did my heart go?
It ran away
It couldn't take me anymore.
Where did my tears go?
They almost dried up completely
But manage to visit
Every once in a while.
Where did my memory go?
I can't remember where I put it last
Maybe it's hiding from me.
Where did I go?
Nowhere and everywhere

I am always shifting
From positive to negative
Like indecisive waves
Not sure if they want to stay strong
Or crash on shore

My mind is a bubble
that  s t r e a c h e s   f a r   a n d   w i d e.
A bubble that won't ever pop.
No matter how hard I try
I can't get out.

My mind is a network
of never ending loops.
Loops that pull me in
deeper
   and
     deeper.
No matter how hard I try
I can't get out.

What would you do if you felt like you couldn't trust your own mind?

Every single time you forget.
You forget how it makes your heart pound
You forget how it makes you short of breath
You forget how the fear spreads
through your whole body
How your heart
drops
How you feel the tears start
to form in your eyes
How your muscles tense up
wanting to make yourself as small as possible
You forget how awful it makes you feel.
But it's to late
You've done it
You've said it
And you tell yourself,
you'll remember next time.
You promise yourself,
you won't ever talk again.
But it never works
Because every single time you forget.