I don't pay attention to the
World ending
It has ended for me
Many times
And began again in the morning

I don't pay attention because I'm me
Fallen beneath the cracks
A forgotten pile of flesh and bones
Neither bad or very good
Person
Being
Entity
Bad things have happened, more
Less good, more bad more bad
I'm so filled with darkness
I'm lacking full introspection
If the world split I'd fall in between

It's who I am, dark and devoid in a world
That's not my own, full of optimistic aspired light.

I am seeking
For so long I have been seeking
And yet...

I do not know what I seek

What is it I'm looking for
Where is the direction
Deflection
What stands in my way

Motivation
I lack the motivation to carry on

Seeking

It's a sad reality when I realise that you won't live forever.
you're slow to the pace.
No longer can I see through the wrinkles on your face.
you linger
stutter, longer than you should.
I never expected for it to come so soon.
too much to do - things I never could
do on my own, without you - now, the only hope is that I could
Ignore the heartache and gloom
and accept things for what they are - and soon will be.
that one day you will part from me.
It's a sad reality that one day you won't live forever.

It is gained so slowly, lost so quickly
We fight over it, we burn over it
Immense and long graft awaits us, an early mourning next
Controlled by something foolishly we had to create
A temporary happiness, unsatisfied and unfulfilled
All over a piece of paper, an apparent expense

Thinking, breathing,
heart beating still
observing a feeling of
decay, a bitter pill
     to swallow...

hurting and healing
irrevocable time to fill
grieving, left wanting
     biding time...
    infallible time