I think I've moved on but I'm just not ready
I think it's because I can't remember you
Last night I remembered when we were still together
You had that red lock
With my birthday as the code
I don't know what I am feeling
I feel that I'm doing alright without you
And that soon your name won't be a feeling
Maybe I won't even think of you as I hear it
Deep down I question if that's what I desire
I don't want to forget you
But I already have
The feelings with those memories continue to linger
However I don't know why they stay
I miss you
This was an edited version of a text I sent to my ex that I know he won't see because he blocked me. I live with severe major depressive disorder and because of that, I forget many painful memories. Lately, when I remember, it feels like I'm reliving the moment. I use my ex's messages as a log for what I am feeling and what I remember.