They say eyes are like
windows to the heart.
But yours are ever blind,
And mine are ever lost.

There is a certain element to life which words cannot capture.
Or maybe I'm just not good enough.
But that feeling when,

You sit on the car,
As it rains outside
Engine whirring on
Showing in moonlight
The other cars honk for no reason
And you can see their unreasonable face
It is a different face, but it is a human face.
And you pause for a moment.

For a moment,
Shorter than now,
Longer than eternity,
The world stood still.
You cannot move your eyes,
You cannot feel your hands,
You forget how to think,
You remember that you exist, here and now.

And then it resumes,
The engine whirs on
The rain falls flat
The moon blissfully pale
That man still screams
Their car still moves
They are still unreasonable
They are still human

And the world moves on as if it hasn't just specifically ******* up all the existential bravery you mustered up over the past 2 weeks.
And you move on, too, as if nothing of note happened.
Until the comfort of the bed breaks down what remains of your fortifications,
As tears stream down uncontrollably.

Then the night pass, the sun rises again, and the world moves on as if nothing happened.

Osmanthus blooms surround my crown,
Chrysanthemum make up my eyes.
In love we meet,
In dread we decease.
There is not a day that pass by without a resurgence of your face,
Not a night that crawl by without that horrible sense of dread.
But you are gone now, forever gone,
And the petals travel far across waves of sea.

To meet you one more time.

See, I didn't realize I had fonts available to me.
Like this, this, or this?
ah
No idea why nobody told me.
I thought we're civilized men and women.
Oh well, off I go now.
Boldly shouting into the abyss once more.

Cover, cover, cover you eyes.
They took it, they got it, they gave it.
Cry, cry, cry 'way your lies.
I heard it, I got it, I love it.

Eyes, eyes, eyes in my life.
She saw it, she smiled at it, she did it.
Blind, blind, blind all your life.
He took it, he got it, he gave it.

Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere to hide.

Haha
Haha
It makes me insane
It makes me cry
Is it a joke?
Is it a song?
I guess we'll just never know

Oh dear
Oh God
I've stopped existing
I've stopped living
For long as I breathe it aches
For long as I live it pains
Reset, reset, now please

Haha
Haha
This is all so boring

Haha
Haha
This is all pointless

A child's playing
A happy ending
(I want to just end this *)

A grieving lame
A crying kinda fame
(I want to just end this *)

Oh, oh
Can you cure this kind of despair?
Can you fix this kind of despir?
It makes me insane
It makes me cry
Can you?
Can you?

The reason I feel this kind of pain, oh oh
The reason I feel this kind of way, oh oh
Is only because I have seen what else there is
Only because I've seen too much

Is it a joke?
Is it a song?
Crying ever on,
Holding the shovel in my hands, shaking

For long as I breathe it aches
For long as I live it pains
Who cares about ethics?
Who cares about morals?

Haha
Haha
What does all of this mean?
I wish
I wish
For all life to decease!

Last day I rise, unfulfilled.
Desire unaccomplished, request unmet.
Like a joke destiny has played on me,
    To leave is to stop pretending, stop loving.
Yet what thing else could I do?
Cower in this unfamiliar place,
Like a fragile infant,
In disgrace?
Or simply speak to the caretaker of this place,
That one ought not to live who doesn’t desire life?
I cringe from the idea in fear of recognition.
I cower in horror of what may be.
    Love pretend meet undesired end.
At last, a dead end.
Neither path forward nor backward, stuck in time.
Wandering and lost,In the dream we call living.
Bound to endless identical halls.
Sealed to an eternity of loss.
Now, upon this place of reflection and peace.
Naught remains but a stained past.
The blinding color of red.