I’m sorry for being the way i am
Wether money causes a rot
Or my behaviour is frowned upon
Know that i can think and feel
My mind races the thoughts yours have travelled too

Shame starts to seep in
Opening the locks behind my eyes
For I, silence the creaks and shrieks played
The urge is almost overpowering though
Somehow my discipline stays intact
Maybe i got sick of doing it in front of people
But I’ll let it sit and stew,
in fact
Boil my insides down to a distillation
Purifying the components of my
“Healthy conscious”
Speeches of daggers thrown at my mind
I pay proper attention to each poke
In hope of finding this thing called peace

I willingly suffer
Don’t feel sympathetic for my pathetic thoughts

I feel like my cracks are showing
I wanna fix it
put tape over while I hold it together
pull it over any space open
I’ll bite near the beginning of it
I’ll Hesitate
As I eye over the holes and flaws
Realise How much more there is underneath
“yeah right”

This growing distance
We can’t be mad
It’s a result of us doing nothing
Walking away
Back to back but so far
Not knowing the other is doing so also
Taking peeks over our shoulders
Missing each other every time
Hands in our pockets
Unsure if they should reach out or not
I hope we find one another

It’s funny
We take one glance at someone
Figure we figure out all that there is to them
Judge, critique, resent
Never wanting to ask them to dig deeper
Where did effort go

Feasting on hate among a group
The taste improves
Plates are being refilled
Tongues are sliding on them

Life became a forest to get out of
Always on the edge of being unsure if I’ll even ever get out

Rushing through
Brushing past every spiky leaf
Sliding away all those pebbles of stones
Slipping constantly
Through the sky’s tears and its forceful breath
I never even made the effort to find cover
Eroded myself with degradation
Listened to the winds whispers and followed its commands
Thinking I was going the right way

I got tired
Sick of the chase of out
Looking at the wrong turns I took
Decided to take a look around
Take notice of the beauty surrounding me
The ray that makes it worth to withstand the harshness
A warmth only available if I stay around

Found out what I like and didn’t like
Got rid of that uncertainty
Felt refreshed by my walking
By the small steps
Softly stomping
Even looking at myself
For what I am
Why would I ever wanna leave