Hope of forgiveness turns into disappointment.
It is bitter.
My loneliness harms me,
becoming a darkness.
Suicidal thoughts help keep the chaos away.
A sharp pain,
a broken heart startled into awareness.
I flinch visibly.
Horribly ashamed,
I find I've gotten lost,
with no one to find me.
I blame only myself.

It's beautiful, the red,
dripping down my arm.
Joining and splitting,
like a river with many divides.
It's all I see.
No matter where I look,
it's there.
The beautiful red.
It seeps down through the water,
turning the light blue into a dark, dark pink.
My life's pain and worries slipping away.
Finally it stops.
And I clean it.
Then another dream of nightmares comes into reality.
And everything starts over.

I fall into an endless abyss,
with a broken heart.
A string of words fly out my mouth,
slamming into you.
My arm goes numb from too much pain,
from too much blood released.
My mind goes,
wondering why you said it.
My eyes cast down,
the smile disappears.
Forever.

We don't want to eat
We don't want to sleep.
She doesn't want to speak
She doesn't want to exist.

We want to be empty
We want to stay awake.
He wants to be silent
He wants to disappear.

An unspoken agreement
two thoughts shared.
A touch of hands
the end of lives.

Don't eat, don't sleep. Never speak a word in your defense. Paper thin, easy to break, easy to lose. Never daring to disturb the silence. Staying empty, no matter the consequence, no matter the pain. Despite the temptation of sweet sleep, you stay awake. Dark circles envelope hollow eyes, within a sunken face. A voice so weak it is unable to make a sound, cries out. She's so faint. He's so thin. They're both so tired, they disappear completely.

Keep on going, going deeper, till the world disappears. Images are blurring, their speed increasing. Temperature is rising, so go faster, until you're oblivious to the people around you. Jump off the edge, pushing off hard and going far out over the ground, far below. Fly across the sky, as free as the winds. Don't let the height scare you, embrace the exhilarating joy of falling, with no one to catch you. Hot the ground, bones breaking, while someone calls 911. Wake up to see flashing lights, and people lifting your body. You watch as they take it away, and float away, already gone.

Here goes another round. Throw me to te ground, and watch me as I fall, smashing my head against the door. Speak your words of hate, tell me I'm worthless, as you tear at my face. I scream, as these tears fall from my eyes, for you to stop. Daddy's little girl, that's what you always say, but when it came to reality, it didn't seem that way. A rag doll, that's all I ever was to you. When they see all the bruises, you say I fell, then alone at home you cry and ask forgiveness, which I always somehow give. A battered mind and soul, counting all the cuts and bruises, taking their toll. Everything you did is something that will never mend. So here I lay on the ground where you left me, waiting hopelessly for this life to end.