We all die sometimes
I hope you are all
high on drugs
because, how can you not be?

I felt *****
And being done with trying
to justify who I am
left me weightless

and tied to the ground
Between my ears
felt like a department store's
lost and found

Keep coming back
Stay
I wasn't alone in rehab
on Christmas Day

I was alone with the door locked
My brown water stopped working
My hands kept shaking
Soon i'll turn ****** thirty

Mickey went back to the bars
I ask him
What did you learn?
He says
nothing

Under the weaponry
of stars and stripes
Alice let her first son die
When asked
why she let her
boy go
she said:
Why make
another man
to fight
to ****
and not throw out his popcorn
after movies
To be the first to
Complain
and the last to die
To be quiet until he’s
Loud.

To me, God is everything.
It's the strangers on the train,
The smell of my saliva on her ****
It's the times I told people they were stupid for saying it exists


The wonder
of the gap between her legs
The way my smoke tastes in the morning
It's why I'm still here. Still going


Rilke taught me who God is
Leonard Cohen seconded his opinion
Alan Watts explained what it's not
And everything it's got


God helps me be free
It doesn't have a gender
It doesn't have a look
It's got nothing and it's got nothing
to prove
At least not to me

In a rush of tactile symmetry
he heard her voice so vividly
she whispered softly

" You can't get rid of me
If you can't beat em
you are left to set em free
Teach patience
Practice chivalry
You've cornered a beast
now act accordingly"

I've sobered up long enough to see the moon
and half the plagues that
were drowning you
I only wish you could see them too

Alone in a room with 9 million people
gazing through the rain at a pointless steeple
I realized nothing, all at once
Except- trust the water
and that you are evil

I feel like a human being
not like a thought or an idea
People swarming around me like
a keepsake tornado
For the first time, a bag of bones
with a soul
Not a concept
or a war treaty
A beast with shoulders and feet
not a fleeting feeling
I'll stay awake until I go to sleep
I've just accepted I have a heart
that's beating

Things I once found beautiful
like not knowing when I saw you
on that rooftop
that I would love you
When we’d walk down Riverside
in all seasons
You telling me about
Boston and Outer Space

Sleeping on airplanes
Talking about
books and my dead friends
with whiskey and champagne

Are now painful reminders
being replaced with a blindness
A ****** tongue on a outlet
lighting a fire in a fountain.

I write to you for a
difference of opinion
To be kept in the dark
far away from His wisdom

You,
like a tripped wire
in a bone structure prison
You,
dancing through rooms
in and out of perfect vision

The news of distant killings
and tortured women
Is proof they're all the same
and we're something different

There is a fire between the pages
a story for the ages

You say, " just keep them coming"
I tell you what you already knew
God created truth so
I could lie to you