Deep breath
In and out
I never thought this day would come
The day I say goodbye to the love of my life
The father of my child and my best friend
Goodbye in the sense that his words won’t flatter my heart and tummy anymore
But someone else’s
Everything that we been through
Every memory that we created
And the stupid love we shared
Gave me life
But lately I’m not living anymore
I’m fighting to survive
I fought so hard
Mentally, spiritually and physically too
I even shed tears like I was singing the blues
But it’s obvious
that those battles I cannot win
Has someone ever treated you like something they would put in a garbage bin?
Crazy how once upon a time
he said I was his world
That one day he would give me all the diamonds and pearls
A lovely life
And I’d be his happy wife
We’d take on the world forever
But I guess we are the two birds that won’t flock together

Love dangerous
And I know that now
I wish I could go back
And slow  time down
To that one moment when he said “would you be mine”
But time goes fast
And the clock never stops ticking
And that’s how I knew there’s always an ending after the beginning

I have no regrets
Only gratefulness
For the experiences and lessons this sailing ship taught me
Thank you for doing everything
That you’ve done
For the love you had to give
And the discomforting guidance you shared
Baby I’m thankful for the beautiful memories and the times you’d show up
But this time around not so much
Saying goodbye
is breaking my heart
But we have to sometimes break
We sometimes need to feel the aching feeling of pain
To understand how real something was
And what it took to build it up
But this is life
And since we are stilling living
Let’s say our goodbyes to love making
But put everything into co-parenting.

I suffer in silence
No-one would understand
There’s so many people and things I cannot stand
Why am I always the problem
Am I just not the one
We go to war everyday
Guns blazing
I cannot escape this charade
Is this it?
Can I survive another day
Or Cover it up all and stay
The toxicity of it all is ******* with my head again
I ******* hate it here
But why can’t I leave
It’s like you sewed me down to a **** seat
I ******* hate it here
I want to leave
I’m tired of sowing my love
And not being able to reap
I ******* hate it here

she tried her very best
yet nothing
she gave it all
yet destruction
her cries were never heard
her tears were never seen
yet she carried on
bruised busted and battered
she is a fighter
a fighter for her life
peace
joy
and
happiness
she fights

i hate it here
i hate the person I've become
i hate the person I've become
i hate the person I've become
Are you hearing me? i said i hate everything that's going on in my life
i feel trapped, unloved, unfocused, exhausted, worn out, and destroyed
i hate it here
i hate it here
i hate it here.

When somebody doesn’t have your best interest at heart
They lie
When they don’t like you for who you are
They lie
They’ll do anything for anyone else and for you nothing so they lie
They lie because they somehow don’t wanna let you go
They lie because this is as real as it gets
They lie because deep down they know they can’t replace you
They lie
They lie
They lie, oh God ****** mon, they lie

You didn't hurt me
I hurt me!
You didn't break me
I broke me!
I spent every  love penny
It's not your fault you couldn't handle me
it's neither your fault that I was too mature and womanly
boys play and men stay
that's just the reality
I am not upset just disappointed hunnae:)