A link to my past, one I try to forget
Not every link, but the ones I regret
Those I want are not that I get
I'm bounded by ones that keep me set

I wish to free myself from those I dislike
The ones the cringe and make my hair spike
The ones that curl my fist, like in a fight
But never the ones that make my soul light

The shadow that hovers my back and head
It second guesses every word that's been said
It chooses the links that make the thread
Picking and choosing to help itself spread

My choices feel pointless as if taken away
My agency useless, I can't see the way
My desire's to move, but I'm forced to stay
I can't see in the night, but it's never been day

I pretended the past just didn't exist
My mind kept checking some endless list
My mind never letting me the exit this mist
I feel like giving in, there's no way to resist

I've come to terms and it's something I accepted
I've stopped trying and left it uncorrected
I shunned myself, like I was infected
But this warmth and love has got me affected

The hill in my path is daunting and steep
When pressure's applied, my resolve is meek
I don't know if I have the nerve to leap
I'm told I'm strong but my mind claims weak

I'll treat this all like eating a whale
Bit by bit, from head to tail
There's an imploding feeling that I'll fail
But step by step, "Not today!" I'll wail