Why does it seem like I have a target on my back no matter where no matter what social scene I'm at.
I try to blend in to the crowd but I tend to somehow be the center of a battle ground.
I'm confused.
I often wonder what is it about me that makes people embitter.
They say they seek out people that appear to be weaker.
How can they tell from a first glance encounter?
Why am I a target for an assault inflicted on by a stranger?
Do I cause that demon to thrash around in anger?
What is it about me that brings out your weakness is it my ability to see your incompleteness.
You triggered me from past attacks.
Belittling and name calling brought it all back.
I believed your words and doubted my worth.
It was a reflection of your self loathe that was exposed.
I have found my power now after enduring that shame.
I healed past hurts that I should have reclaimed.
I took my identity back from your berating attack.
I defeated those words rose up found my strength. My courage, and self respect.

Your only happy when the whiskey bottle’s half full.
Drinking and laughing and filling your boots.
Your demeanor changes, your frustration emerges unprovoked annoyances and uncontrolled impulses.
I ask you why you mask your true nature?
Why are we the only ones that suffer your hurtful dismissive behavior?
Your only happy and not angry when your spending time drinking with the ones that share your history.
Your loyalty lies with them, not me.
Even though I'm the one here on my knees pleading for you just to see me.
Once again,  I'm asking to much.
I lash out but you don't know what the fuss is about.
Sad how they always get the best of you and we get the dreads of you.
I wish I knew why you think it's acceptable to treat me that way and expect me to stay,  my love for you is fading away.

Alarm bells are ringing
Red flags are flailing.
Impending danger.
Hysterical behavior.

Is this the time to run and hide, Or stand up and fight.

Footsteps are approaching. Paranoia know escaping.

Your heart is pounding.
Adrenalin is raging.
My chest is restricting.
My pace is quickening.

The memories are flickering.
The torment is deafening.

Unable to speak now.
Unable to breathe.

Triggering and trickery,
Cheated my years

Fighting to relinquish My deepest fears.

Is it when two souls come together to unite or a drug that inhibits the mind, intensifying the senses of your heart combined.

An instinct that we crave to feel deeply emotionally attached.
Like oxygen we need to breathe, the removal of it deepens the need.

They say love is blind you can not see.
Is this the one who's captured me.

Minds in a daze lost in a maze.
Jolting you out of control, engulfing your body and soul.

Taking your hand alluring one in with that magical flute to captivate every inch of you.

You're lost in a trance enjoying the dance longing for it to last.
Increasing the desire not to drown out the fire.

Illusions of what we are led to believe.

Chemistry hits and that attraction exists, fireworks explode releasing pheromones, heightening the primal instincts inability to control the burning impulse.

Why is love inclusive and has many faces?

It's a basic human need; it's in our nature to proceed.

Seeking forgiveness for the mistakes, I have made.
Sealed together with enduring pain.

Battling internal conflict, that I couldn't contain.

A deep twisted anger, that drives you insane.

Illusions of discomfort, feelings of shame.
Powerful surge of torment, was there to remain.

Grasping for answers, for my life to be reclaimed.

Finding forgiveness, was my inner whispers aim.
Uncovering the solution, to remove this chain.

Learning valuable lessons, before I could explain.

Asking yourself for forgiveness, was an escape from my past, I overcame.

The challenges and suffering you've endured.

Is what made you seek to explore.
These traumas don't descend on the weak, only the strong can defeat.

Embrace the path that's laid out for you.
What has happened has led you.
To believe in your full potential, to unleash.

These gifts were given for a reason.
Not a random treason.

Peeling back the layers to meet the true version of oneself.
Hidden beneath fear and self doubt.

Whispering to your soul.
Roaring to not be ignored.

Let the fullness of your light ignite and shine brighter  than the moonlight.

A response to a whisper, I accidentally heard.
Emotional trigger, that was stirred, an over reaction is how it referred.
Awakening the darkness, that becomes angered, the mind exallerates becomes altered.
Delusional internal conflicts ruptured.
False accusations, were cruelly uttered.
Lost in a cycle, of never ending hurt.
Why am I cursed, with this slandered word?
Was this what I heard or my mind conducted, instantly reverting to the negative badgered.
The enemy within was powerfully mastered, created this anguish and distress by a coward.