Natalie

Natalie 1d

I thought i'd never fall in love again
like the old flower who flourished
in the same dirt you once walked over
the flower soon to be ripped out
of the soil that nurtured it into belonging
from the greedy hands you've grown into
just because you wanted something
pretty to hold.

Natalie Apr 23

Is this love?

What does love mean?
Is it the guy 8 hours away,
or the girl right next door?
Is it a feeling or
is it not real?

Is love in your heart
or just in your head?
Or coming home to dinner
with your husband
and your kids?

Is love the flower so pretty
you don't dare to pick?
Or the sun falling back
colors scattering
and leaving us blank?

Love is nothing and everything
all at once.
Love is not numbers
or letters
or trust.
Love is only living
when all you used to know
was how to survive.

Live, dont just survive.

Natalie Apr 21

We are stuck in a hole we dug ourselves

You asked me if money buys happiness
                                      and for the first time
                                   I didn't have an answer.

                           On the surface my answer is yes.
                               but the question is ineffable.
                                         money can buy
  what you want
           when you want
                     and where you want.
                                   but money can't buy
                                                                    trust
                                                                           honesty
                                                                                       and love.

                                     Money is nugatory
                          when happiness means everything.

money provides
temporary joy
for a life that's infinite.

                         you asked me if money buys happiness
                                          and i said yes
                   because no amount of money can explain to you
                             that our thoughts are filled by
                                    the suffocating sum
                                  of what money created.

Natalie Apr 21

Speak

We will forever want
what we can't have
and think the words
we will never get to say.

Natalie Apr 9

Lying to yourself

You say you love me,
but humans are only capable
of looking at what they
can see.
and you are not capable
of loving what you don't know.

and you say you love me
but what is shiny is also
scratched.
the layers of my skin hide
a frostbitten language
only know by the foreigners
you don't know exist.

and you say you love me
but love means
walking through a snow storm
I had already passed
because you know you would
meet me on the other side.
but you turned around
because you couldn't see past
the white casted trees.

don't say you love me
because you don't have anyone else
to say it to.
say you love me
when your mind wont swell
if I don't say it back.

Don't say you love me if you don't know what the word love means.

Natalie Apr 7

Selfish whispers

I had never spoken
so you couldn't hate the words
that would leave my lips.
But you still found a way
to hate my mouth.

The same mouth that brushed
over the one you hold
and whispered in my ear
as my fingers laced with DNA
you will always have.

And I am sorry if not saying
I love you
that night bruised your heart
but your mind never thought
why I didn't or why I do
the things I do.

So my soul will always ache
for rest that can't come with sleep
and my soul will always ache
for you to only understand
me because I always
understood you.

Natalie Mar 25

Minds crash too

Don’t ask me what I want
Tree branches snap in storms
We didn’t know were coming
And towns flood and flow
From a storm
We didn’t know was coming
And the lighting struck my house
From a storm
I didn't see coming