Bruise on my eye

Black and blue

Hit it on a chair

Talking to you

Cards scattered

All on the floor

Nine teenagers

Playing a game

Of which no one

Even knows the

Name. The girl

Sitting next to

Me was simply

There chattering

Aimlessly with

No point in mind

And all I can do is

Rub my bruised eye

I claim that God left me

But I was the one who left

I walked away and chose

Some pagan gods of whom

I will pray because I broke

The laws and I made the sins

And I never want to be in a

Room with him... So God

Can walk away... I don't want

Him now... Being called a ******

By Christians is enough to make

A poor kid cry and walk in shame

So tell me I'm going to Hell...

Because that's where I would

Rather be.

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

Rinse, Repeat, live those days again, a different week...

Going into a different month... Up until a new year

Saturday... My birthday... One year older...

Just another month of school

For a junior with a C in history

And in AP English Lit

I thought I was smart

But my A's and B's

Are marred by 2 C's

And my perfection is

Now farther behind

Happy birthday to you

You're now seventeen

New rules... New curfew

Same hair... Same clothes...

Same stuck in the closet

Stupid and pathetic

Scared of everything

Lazy and insignificant

Me.

My little brother...

My biggest fear...

My biggest weakness...

The kid I used to hold...

Whose head I used to kiss...

I tried so hard to protect him

Didn't want him to ever change

But he was born different and

How I saw him and how he was

Were never quite the same...

He's left bruises and left scars

Upon my skin and in my heart

As I watched the sickness in his

Brain tear the sweet kid I knew

Apart... His meds they supposedly

Help but he's always going to be

The boy who he was on the inside...

He's strong and he is tall... I am weak

And too small... So I will hide away

From him to keep my life and my

Sanity... til my fears can set me free

Hello, my love...

Do you still remember my name?

I'm sitting right where you left me...

A fake smile plastered upon my face

You said you'd be right back but...

It's been a few years... The kids are getting

Older and have countless hopes and fears

They're trying to make friends and I guess

I am too but even among all my peers I am

Still finding myself missing you... Nothing is

The same here now that you've gone away

Mist and Cloud don't remember you now

But the kids and I will still sit and wait...

For yet another winter's rainy day

- Rain

Great

An assembly about pills

Schools like mine really know

Just how to trigger countless kids

I do not wish to learn how many people

Die every year overdosing on things that

Might as well have been designed to ****.

No way to opt out or say you can't go just

Because it's triggering in ways that don't show

I don't want to see another mom crying about

Her son who is lost I just want to close my eyes

And cover my ears and wait until they are all gone

Fentanyl... painkilling drugs that can now have such

A morbid and unforeseen cost but look look look!

How many people have been lost? Dead and gone?!

- Cas

Sometimes I sit and wonder
If maybe everything is pointless
I ponder it now my head in my hands
If this world was designed to disappoint us.
All these nice bands that soon burn out
Little children you thought would be cute
But all they ever seem to do is pout
You date, you love, you celebrate
You break up, you cry, you hate, you mourn
And all the while.. All the while they all look at
You with that same old look full of nothing but scorn
You could die and they wouldn't even care
Not until you're in the grave and the mortician fixes
Your hair... But they're there for you now....
There for you now... But why would you care..?
Six feet under dead and gone so who...
Who ******* cares that they're even there?

- "Flower"

5:30 AM, so early, yet I lie,  
Thoughts of you swirling, I can't deny.  
Wishing for you, longing in the quiet,  
In the stillness, my heart can't keep silent.  

Waiting for you, in the dark of night,  
Until the first rays of morning's light.  
And as the sun rises, so does my view,  
In that moment, it's only you I choose.

How can I make you smile, I wonder,  
A flicker of light, soft as thunder?  
A word, a gesture, simple and true,  
A quiet moment shared with you.  

Should I paint the sky in hues of blue,  
Or gather stars to light your view?  
Perhaps a song, so sweet and mild,  
To stir the heart, to make you wild?  

Could a laugh, like wind, break through,  
The clouds that veil the sun's warm hue?  
Or a touch, so gentle, yet sincere,  
To calm your soul, to draw you near?  

How can I make you smile, my dear?  
With every breath, with every tear,  
I search for ways, with hope, with grace,  
To light your heart, to warm your face.

What right do I have to light their way,  
When shadows cling to me each day?  
How can I offer joy or cheer,  
When inside, darkness is all I fear?  

I stand and smile, a fragile mask,  
Hiding the weight of each unspoken task.  
What worth are my words, my soft embrace,  
When my heart drifts in a hollow space?  

Yet still, I try, despite the storm,  
To bring warmth, to help transform—  
For in my giving, I too might heal,  
And find in others the strength I feel.  

So even broken, I’ll still give,  
For sometimes it’s through others we learn to live.