They say the past is
simply in the past

That it's dead
and it stays there

But does it?
Does it stay there?

Our past never stays
locked away there

It lives on in the scars
on our skin and our lands

There's nothing about
it that chooses to remain

The past always
comes with us

It guides our hands
and tugs us along

We can't outgrow
what we used to know

And we won't forget
what we used to hold

There's no killing
what can't die

So learn to hold
the ghosts close

Before they learn
to drown you out

It takes two to tango
but that's when we broke
in the quiet I sat alone
missing what we had
before it all fell apart

It's in the quiet
vulnerable moments
that we lost what he had
starting to wish
I had never spoke
what I really thought

I said yes
because I never knew
how to say no
and that's when
you took it all
and I couldn't
let go

Time was what we needed
but never really had
a frantic dance
of passion and desire
and in it you took everything
and it was no surprise
when it all fell apart

We moved too quickly
fell apart
even faster
sometimes I wish
I could cling to what we still had
but it takes two
and that's why we broke

The sound of trains never stopped
I still hear the sound
like the first day you left me there
on the cursed platform
any chance at escape always
rushing past me
your words written on the walls
like some dying childhood
you wanted to have some legacy for

The sound of screaming never stopped
I can still hear it
ringing in my ears
from the beginning
to when it all ended
the explosion and burns
the terror what once had been joy
when it all went wrong
too far and too late
to be saved
there was no turning back

The sound never stopped
I still hear it
in my dreams
in the quiet moments
whenever I think that it might
stop hurting
because you don't remember
but I do
and the sound
never stopped

-Wilbur

Did you forget
that I'm human too
that your words can hurt
that we're not perfect
that there's nothing perfect here
that we're just repeating the past
that we didn't change anything
that I'm still hurting
that your words can be cruel
that you don't understand
that I don't trust easily
that I'm more willing to give up then hold on

Did you forget
that you can mess up too?
It seems to me
that you've forgotten
that I'm more than just a problem
I'm a person
and you forget
to treat me like one
so don't be surprised
that I want to leave
when you forget
how to love me

I kept forgetting to say no
to you, to everyone
I didn't know how
to make time for myself

I didn't know how to
find value in the quiet
now I wish I could
take it all back

I tore myself to shreds
trying to be enough for
everyone else I forgot to
be enough for myself

I don't know when it
all started I don't think
that I care all that much
when it hurts this much

I don't want to die
until I've well and lived my life
some time maybe when i'm eighty or ninety
and I can say I've done everything I wanted to

But I hope whenever that time comes
distant or close
I can die when I'm happy
because I'd rather be a ghost than go to heaven
and ghosts remember their last moments first