All I wanted from you
Was for you to love me
Was for you to protect me
Give me that childish reassurance
I’ve always needed
To know I’m safe
To not fear the dark
To not fear someone was going to come in my room while I slept
You were supposed to protect me from that
You were supposed to make sure no one ever hurt me
But you let him hurt me
And you didn’t believe me
Well at first you did
The sugarcoated version
Just about how uncomfortable i felt
Not about how I cried after
Or how I thought about it
Every spare moment I had
Mainly on the bus
I didn’t tell you
About how I stopped thinking of men as safe
How I looked the definition of assault on my phone
And realized what I was going through was wrong
That it wasn’t my fault
How from then on after years of not recognizing that I was being abused
I then accepted the fact that I had been taken advantage of
The first time I ever told someone about it
She said “What the ****”
And I cried the first and second times I had told anyone
But you didn’t know about any of that
And if you did? would it even matter?