You are fireworks
in my chest and
things I can't hold on to
are slipping between my toes as I walk
across them. You don't care
that you showed up and stamped
a small portion of my stomach
with your butterfly-shaped coil.
I want it off
gone
out
done
but I know you'll come back
and I want you to feel the outline of it.
That way you'll know I never stopped trying
never stopped caring.
I need you to care, too.

****, this pizza's good*
Shut up Nolan, you're high.

a room filled with people
blasting bass
and blaring lights
smoke
whiskey
heat
we're all one in a dark room.
mellow movements with the music,
there we were.
there you were.
hands on each other
our fingers locked my body to yours,
theres no point in hiding
no point in denial
there would be a point to let go
you did and so did i.
there you were,
culminating perfection
just for tonight
snug lips,
rhythmic tongue
as it dances in me like we danced in this room.

i watched you as you walked away
still lingering for another second,
another moment to hold on to.

Your lips
Were the first thing I noticed
Gently parted
Breathing in and out

Oh to be your words
Conceived within your mind
Born upon your lips

Poetry.

Your lips are ******* poetry.

The electricity
in that moment,
when your hand first
brushed past mine,
could have lit up New York City
for the night.

I could have lived in that moment.
Plugged in.
Turned on.

But, in the same way we got used to
light switches and indoor plumbing,
I got used to your touch.

What I wouldn't give
to go back to candlesticks and outhouses
for just one night
so that when you reach for my hand tomorrow,
I won't be jaded by the light that now seems
so perfectly ordinary.

There's a light on my front porch
that comes on when I open the door at night.
I step outside to light a cigarette and
stand there under the bulb
watching the bushes move
with the wind and the scurrying of
little lizards.

But if I stand really still,
the light goes off and
for a few moments, I can disappear.
I can still hear the crickets and
a few cars in the distance, but
it's disembodied sound.

It's quiet. Dark. Far removed from
the reality illuminated by the sun
during the day and the sensor light
on the front porch at night.

I focus all my energy on
keeping my movements small, controlled.
The slight rise and fall of my chest as
I breathe. The modest shuffle of my
feet as I shift my weight from one
side to the other.

My thoughts are completely occupied
with making sure I stay invisible.
Reality exists only in the glow
of that wretched porch light.

But eventually, I feel the heat between my
fingers, jolting me back to an existence
where I have worries greater than
making sure I stay absolutely still.

Whenever you are near me,
you bring a smile to my heart.
Suddenly I feel free,
until we have to part.
I wish that you could stay with me,
and never leave my side.
I want to show my feelings to you,
but instead they have to hide.
I don't ever want to let you go,
though I know I should.
Leaving you is the better choice,
but if only I could.
It's like my heart is trapped inside,
your hurtful prison wall.
The pain keeps coming and going,
as I watch you feel nothing at all.
But now I've made my final decision,
even though this went by so fast.
I've decided to move on with life,
and happily leave you in the past.

I'll *******,
If you want.
Cause I want it
Just as bad as you do.
But I also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
When you turn over in the middle of the night.
I want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
I want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
As you kiss me gently on the forehead.
And when I whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
Just nudge me with your knee
Or poke me with your elbow.