"I want to push you so far away
that the look in your eyes
no longer causes me to question
your love
         and yet
I want to hold you
            to me
tightly,
fiercely,
until we are both somehow lost
in the way that you make me feel."
                                                          ­     she says to me.

firm fingertips tracing the curve of my stomach.
soft lips kissing the swell of my hips.

(I say nothing.)

It’s amazing
how my desperation to feel You
has turned into a desperation
to feel Anything
at all.

I would like to say
that you were my favorite mistake...

But

(when it finally had the chance
to get inside me)

the double bacon cheese burger

made me feel
so
much
better
than you did
when given the same opportunity.

Get your hand
off of my thigh,
it does not thrill me.

It makes me try to recall
the last time that I shaved.

But you seem less concerned
with the light fuzz
that could possibly be covering my thighs
and more interested in finding out whether or not I'm wearing a bra beneath this shirt.

I'm not.

But I'm leaving to go home
and shave
before you have the chance to find out.

And you will be the one to say to my heart,

           ”Come out! Come out!

       It’s OK to breathe again.”

“Forget the past. It’s only the future that matters.”

“Was what happened before really that bad?”

         ”Surely,

                    you are stronger now.”

And your gentle coaxing will bring my heart

        out of the cocoon where it was

hidden, (wrapped tightly in thoughts and logic and plans.)

      Wincing at the brightness of the sun.

       Reaching blindly

                                for your hand.