It's now apparent that I hardly sleep.
Perhaps too many thoughts racing
or subconsciously, I'm plagued by nightmares.
Either way, I suffer every night.

Could it be that interest in a certain someone?
Her mind is purely intoxicating to say the least
and I spend many an hour in exchange for conversations.
I do not and shall not regret this trade though
for in my eyes, it's definitely worth it.

Maybe it's my doubt in the ability to transcend
through school and achieving my professional dream.
It's entirely possible that I worry too much,
but it's in my personality with such matters,
however important or trivial.

The times I do allow myself some sleep,
I succumb to pure darkness.
Often, I fear that I'll never find a way out;
The light at the end of the tunnel.
Daily, it becomes harder to escape.

Nightmares in form are twisted.
They corrupt the very fabric of your well-being.
That being said, how ill am I?
I wonder if my light still exists.
If so, please shine, do not just glimmer.

Thoughts swirling with hope
while nightmares brood in doubt.
This is my mind in a nutshell;
A brutal, unforgiving battlefront.

I'm dying very soon
and I can't wait.
This world I know,
doomed by fate.

I can hardly breathe,
choking on life.
The ash seethes.
Light up another one.

War-drums echo the sky.
A ringing in the ears.
Paranoia stricken,
the sum of all fears

One Lethal injection
or suicidal introspection.
Over -Zealous protection.
Perhaps loss of affection.

Fragments of reality
alluding to my soul.
I've found a solution;
My Ace in the Hole.

The man's blood sprayed all over the walls
as his corpse fell with a thunderous thud.
The spectacle has been replayed thousands of times.

Last night I witnessed a suicide
and a realization has been born
that I can't save everyone.
This upsets me a great deal
as I aspired to be a Superman;
A protector of the world,
but I failed at my task.

The world knows I should hang my cape.
To be done with this impossible dream
would be the wise thing to do,
but I hold it in my hands,
wondering who else would bear this weight.
If no one, then I must continue
and with every challenge I face,
regardless of outcomes,
I shall be even moreso stricken
than my previous endeavors.
These are the sacrifices I have to make
for the good of the public interest.
I can't afford to think of myself
because at the end of the day,
my well-being will never even matter.

A bittersweet night such as this;
is a testament to my remembrance.
The stillness of the air
brings about old habits dying hard.

The neon signs once sparked life.
Now, can only muster a flicker.
I roam these down-trodden streets,
murky water staining my boots.

Echoes of the past encompass,
judging my unorthodox steps.
I still feel the burning sensation
that has taken refuge in my throat.

I haven't the faintest idea as to why I'm here.
Perhaps I must belong here?
A dying street for a washed-up man.
The grim realization has taken its toll:

I was once everything and now nothing;
my own identity stripped from me.
Ethereal currents, cast me away,
for I'm the shadow of a man I once knew.

In the Valley of Death, I roam
Infinite Sins I must atone.
Battle-scarred and heaving,
Shadows behind me, creeping

For all is lost, but not forgotten.
A humanity that was once begotten.
Sadly, empty now; a mere shell.
A war rages inside that reeks of Hell.

Remorsefully, I cull the meek
to find that which I do so seek.
A kiss from those ruby rose lips.
pupils brighten, bearing an eclipse.

Confidently, I shall reclaim my throne
as I feel my heart becoming sewn,
but I must last through the night.
Hope conceived amongst stars shine bright.

Impossible which I once thought,
I have found what I have sought.
Content with my endeavors,
Shall we step into our forever?

I see you standing there,
Pristine and sharp.
With your straight black tie and tucked-in shirt;
perfection at its apparent finest.

Our worlds are so much alike.
At times I wish we could switch,
but alas I cannot take part in that fantasy
for I see those stains you attempt to cover so slyly.

A devious smile is all it takes
to prove to those that you're happy.
Such a lie that I'm accustomed to;
a former master of such a sin.

Underneath all your smudges and cracks,
you're just a reflection of what I could possibly be
Your "happiness" will only last for so long,
Until you shatter from within

I have accepted my faults, can I say the same for you?
While you just smile in that suit of yours,
In a superficial world of so called perfection,
I stand here, watching you slowly crumble
and knowing that I'm better than you.