Joel: Poems

//

Joel 1d

//

For longing is different
When god bore you hungry

Awareness

Joel Mar 29

It aches me that,
I know that you exist.

I know that you exist without me.

I long for my presence to be addictive.
Treat me like your new favorite drug.

Do you have withdrawals
when I'm not around.

Change

Joel Mar 29

Change

To be born good,
or to overcome your evil through great effort?

I only recently found out that:

Becoming

is so much more beautiful than

Being

Dreams

Joel Mar 29

Dreams

my face is flushed in a deep red tonight
everything feels fuzzy and im a little
more numb than usual

i still think about you
how i beg for you to crave me
do you?

it does feel a little pathetic
to be so reliant on someone else
while claiming to stand tall
above your negative emotions

i think im afraid
i think that's a good thing

Forgetfulness

Joel Mar 29

Forgetfulness

I try to remember every little detail about you,

and I get so angry with myself whenever I forget.

I hope you know I'm trying and I hope you know

the thought of you lives in my heart.

I'm so sorry

If only the Stars contained me.

Joel 2d

If only the Stars contained me.

You've heard it all a hundred times before,

"You are made of dead stars",
"You are the universe that rebuilt itself into something that can experience it's own beauty."

I, on the other hand, long to return.
I want to go to my place of origin,
my real home.

The light and plasma would hold me firmly,
And I'd never be the same I'm sure.

If only the stars contained me.

You are the universe
You are my everything

justice

Joel 1d

justice

touching grass is not enough;
i need horrible things to happen to powerful people.

Malicious Guardian Angel

Joel Mar 30

Malicious Guardian Angel

When the cold of solitude feels more like home than the warmth of a hug,
and the force of regret leads to
shattered glass and bleeding cuts,

I know something is not quite right,
but I can never seem to put my finger on it.

I feel like I have my own guardian angel
that only wants the worst for me.

He dances around the fine print in his contract,
letting me suffer when it's crippling
//but not fatal//

Notes

Joel Mar 29

Notes

I try to catch my thoughts at every chance I get, but they're fleeting often, and most times I'm not fast enough.

They fade into a blur of white noise only seconds later.

But now and then I manage to capture them, I hold them close, extract their meaning and refine it.

If I have no time, I will try to force them onto a note, that I can tape to the inside of my skull.

May we never falter.

This is my first poem on this site, I hope you like it.

Please

Joel 1d

Please

Look at the moon
I'm looking at it
I'm looking at you

Seasons

Joel 1d

Seasons

But we've learned that
people change like the seasons do.
I was foolish to expect your spring in autmn,
to expect your summer in winter.

Now and then we have to look around;
"Are the people we love the same people we fell in love with?"
And if not,
Ask ourselves:
Is that a good or a bad thing?

Self Destructive Parting Gift

Joel Mar 30

Self Destructive Parting Gift

You could be great;
Even bigger and stronger than in your dreams,
someone to hold onto,
but instead whenever someone reaches out,
even the softest touch would break away a piece of you.

You're brittle.

Every piece you lose to someone, makes you crumble a little more.
A self destructive parting gift.

Even those you know to be undeserving of it, get a piece.

How long until there is nothing left of you?

The Ratio of Freckles to Stars

Joel 2d

The Ratio of Freckles to Stars

We laid in the soft grass for a while.
The wind blew steadily.
With the moon illuminating us from afar.

You chuckled, thinking about the silly idea of
counting all the pretty lights above us.
All the stars, adding them up by hand.

I laughed too,
of course I did.

I loved the stars and nightsky too,
of course I did.

But while you busied yourself with the absurd prospect of
counting all the stars,

I'd rather admire you, and busy myself with
counting all the freckles on your face.

maybe i just love the idea of "us"

trust

Joel 1d

trust

If you revealed yourself to me,
I'd love you in your darkest places.
The ones you dare not show the world,
the ones you dare not think about at day.
I'd love you there.

— The End —