I feel as I feel.
It’s my own,
and not anyone else does it belong to.
No one can tell me how or why,
when or where.
No one can turn me into something I’m not.
I feel not just with heart,
but deep within my soul.
Emotions may get the best of me sometimes,
but they are mine,
and with them I’m reminded of every beat and every breath of what is real.

He turns,
but every way is wrong,
and all roads lead to lines crossed.
The signs ahead don’t help,
he’s more confused than ever,
and sadly defeat surrounds his every waken bone.
If only he could find what made him smile once upon a long time ago,
then maybe he’d be okay.

Heart still beating,
blood still moving,
head still hurting,
and eyes still blinking.
I’m alive.
Alive,
and still here.

When no one gives a ****,
and a show seems more important.
When your breath is hard to swallow,
and you’re left alone chasing it.
Rest just isn’t in the cards.
You’re defeated.
No one wants to help.
So I guess I’ll just sit here drowning
until there’s nothing left of me.

These words are here because no one listens.
When I speak out loud the words in my heart,
they fall on deaf ears.
Some may wonder why I’m quiet most of the time,
but truth is
I find it easier when I don’t say a thing.
It hurts less than realizing no one was ever really paying attention.

Please don’t let me forget you on December 25th.
When the presents are all open,
and the magic starts to fade.
When the coffee turns cold,
and the Christmas music unplugs for another year.
Don’t let me be reminded you’re not here.
Because I still miss you,
even when it’s not December 25th

On wobbly feet
and shaky breath,
these words are so hard to find.
No one knows what’s going on in that space up there.
You fall once,
maybe twice,
and all they do is watch as you get back up again.  
No lending hand.
Just eyes turning away.
You’re struggling.
And for once you wish someone would finally give a ****.