I want to be an ebony lie,
one that's dark as oblivion,
one that pierces through skin once known.

I want to be your darkest secret,
the one that brings uneasiness
to your obscure and uncanny soul.

I want to be loved,
to be known that has a name
that fits with yours.

Everything's opaque,
yet one thing's always clear,

I want to be the risk,
the one that everybody's taking,

yet the one that you let go.

I looked at everything as if it were a blur,
Rose petals were slowly falling down,
Colored lights quickly escaped my eyes,
Fireworks where seen by people passing by
as I tried to figure everything out, your eyes dawned on mine.

At the middle of the line, there you were,
Dressed in denim with your hair slicked back,
I laughed at how hard you tried to look formal,
It’s obvious, how nervous you must’ve felt,
And yet, you walked towards me.

At that moment I knew I had to leave,
But the situation seemed surprising,
The closer you got, the farther I knew we’d grow apart.

At that moment, you were standing by my side,
You genuinely smiled.
Right then and there, I knew it wasn’t me you were looking at,

But the girl from behind.

"In any method you use,
you'll always end up choosing the wrong one."

I wanted to tell you that, last night.
How your decisions
would end up ruining everything,
but for once I'd like to think that maybe
it was wrong for me to think indecisively of you.

I may not know what it'll become of us,
but I hope it won't turn out to be like
the dream you once told me.

The moon shone bright that night
under the stars away from everything
there you were, showing that deep smile
and bold physique.

Appalled by your beauty I wanted to get close,
amidst the feelings that came rushing in
I thought of approaching you gently,
yet I only stood there,
feeling vulnerable
as you made your exit.

I cried myself to sleep that night,
awoken by the scene of you coming back,
unaware of the irony that it was me
who agreed to let you go.

I want to bethink it,
the voice that calmed my nerves,
the hands that met my skin,
the stare that burned my soul.

The memories came back.

In drunkenness I find solace,
and the memories invite me in.
Like an endless loop,
a deep tide, a disturbed wave,
and an unending pulse
that finally lures me,
to sleep.