You just cant deal with rejection and you know it
You dont love me
you looked like you hated the fact that i breath
you stared deep into cold blue eyes
with those soulful brown orbz

Bearing in to the depths of my soul
you glared at me
After i spat your  love for me back in your face

You had gotten on one knee
A victim of unrequited love
I never loved you, you saw yourself as one thing
After you pulled out that velvet glad box i realized

(Tsungayi Kazembe)

they say if you keep looking for something
   You will eventually find it
But what if the missing person's report you filled
  Is against yourself?

I'm that heart you have decided to sell
to someone more suitable to look after it,
Since you have done a terrible job at keeping it intact,
But honey no one pays much for a badly patched product,
So I guess you'll always be unlucky when it comes to love.....

So I got thinking....
Maybe I'm the witch in my own fairytale...

Lets play a game,
Where you pretend you actually love me,
Instead of telling me that my eyes are the same colour
as your favourite pair of jeans that you constantly poke holes in.

Or where you don't tell me that my smile is like a toe nail,
Because I know how much you don't like your toe nails.
Don't tell me my eyes have the same sparkle as stars,
Then go on to mention how stars are small and insignificant.

For this game only don't compliment my physical appearance,
Tell me  how my poetry speaks to your soul,
Even though I know very well how much you hate it,
Tell me I have a beautiful heart without having to compare me to mother Theresa.

No wait lets change the rules,
You are going to sit there and listen to me while I talk,
You are not allowed to interrupt me,
I never do

So before I tell you that its over,
I think you should know that my eyes will not be compared to a pair of jeans you got for $50
They are worth more than that,
My smile is like the crescent shape of a moon,
Not the toe nails you never liked.

And you know what,
Stars are not insignificant you are
And lastly you might not like my poetry,
But I do.

If I was to die today and someone asked you to describe me what would you say?
                I'll make it easy for you

Tell them I was a ****** with a big ♥ heart,
Even though the love wasn't enough I gave my all
Tell them I was an above average student who
procrastinated a lot but had huge dreams
Tell them I gave up too easily but refused to be called a quitter

Tell them I came alive onstage the moment the spotlight hit my face
But I never got enough time to shine
Tell them I had random dance moments at the wrong times but didn't care cause I was shameless
Tell them I had more fingers than people I could trust
But that didn't make me lose hope in them


Tell them I wasn't loved widely but deeply
Tell them I only fell in love with one person and it  was like that till the day I died
Tell them I chose to smile instead of giving way to my problems
But that doesn't mean my eyes didn't lick once in a while

Tell them I walked with confidence like I was trying to balance a crown
But I didn't have hubris
Tell them I didn't choose to be born but I'm glad I was

Do you ever zone out in class,
Have the physically present,
Mentally Absent moments,
Where you let your mind wonder?

Because your body may allow it,
But your thoughts are claustrophobic,
They can't be caged.

He could see she was hurting
so he did what most people would do
He took a glass of water and placed it in front of her
Then he asked,

"is the glass half full or half empty?"
She looked at him for a while then said
"if I tell you the glass is half full will I be able
to drown my sorrows in it?"


Seeing that she still had a negative outlook on life
He simply said No
But see this wasn't the first time someday said that to her,
So she replied,
"You are right, my pain manifests itself in the form of water
of course it would survive..."

F-for acting like a surgeon,
operating on a heart you did not break,
For showing up at the wrong times in my life,
and being the glue that brought all the pieces together.

R- remembering the times I let my demons
get the best of me,
When I removed my dragon from its leash,
left it to obliterate everything on its way,
Although you were a victim,
You still remained my angel in disguise.

I-it takes betrayal to know what loyalty is
It takes great darkness to finally know the light,
when you see it
It takes having to trust the wrong people,
To realise the ones who were honest from the start.

E-everything happens for a reason I've been told,
Things fall apart so great things can be built,
Enemies are our 'best friends'
But that is not always the case.

N-no word in a dictionary is ever good enough
for a poet,
To describe that which makes them happy,
And no weapon fashioned against one will ever,
Prosper.

D-dictionaries have their own meanings,
People have also come up with theirs,
But if anyone is to ask me the meaning of friend,
I'll probably smile and say,
"Tanaka".

#I'd say you are my flashlight as well but,
You are the stars in the dark sky of my life.

There will be a day when things fall apart ,
Super glue wont be able to fix them.
The day chocolate loses its power to comfort,
When Trevor Noah's jokes longer have the healing effect,
The day you'll sleep with the hope of waking up with amnesia.
When the nightmares become so vivid you start to believe they are real.
The day you realise your wish we'll never come true
because you made it upon an ordinary star.
The day when the yoke becomes too heavy you decide to let some skeletons out of the closet.

There will be a day when sorry doesn't have the power to restore,
When your smiles and laughs are consumed by the pain in your heart.
The day the jokes are no longer as funny but hurtful,
The day you decide to be physically present, mentally absent and emotionally detached,
when you shut the whole world out,
plug your headphones,
play music on loud.
The day the words "Bandaids cant fix bullet holes" actually make sense
The day you cry so hard even Niagra falls will sympathise with you.

But before that days comes when you are at your lowest point,
When you decide to let your confidence drop to the concrete,
When you decide to give way to the arrows life will throw at you,
Just remember the light at the end of a tunnel might be an oncoming train,
But in the morning the sun will  definitely shine.

Usually I have words fighting  in my head
Tearing each other from limb to limb
They all want to reach the tip of my tongue,
See the world and touch hearts,
I guess that's why im kinda talkative hahahaha

But today there seems to be no war
I have no thoughts running up and down the corridors of my mind
The world seems to be more calm,
The weather seems gloomy though,
The sky has been darkened by clouds,
the sun is no way in sight,
but don't worry i think i know why.

today is your birthday,
A reminder the sun gets every year on 29 October ,
that something more beautiful, more magnificent was created,
A blessing im too selfish to share,
But since the world needs more good people I've had to make do lol.
#mad love for you
ps: till our ***** sag

"And I don't care what they said, I want to hear what you said to defend me"
Cause you are the one I want to be with when Armageddon begins
we only have each other
I'll rather have them turn against me and still have you as my ally
But before that happens I need to know that I'm  at least beautiful to you"
she said
The girl in the mirror smiled and that was her answer.

We've been through enough pain already
And pretty hurts so we'll rather be beautiful.
In fact we don't want to be called beautiful or pretty
Those words have been overused to the point where they no longer mean as much as they used to.

we'll rather be called breath taking, exquisite, majestic
yes anything but the cliché,
pretty,
cute,
hot,
cause we are not ordinary.

**** is a mindset and we don't have to be size 1 to feel good about ourselves
We don't have to starve ourselves by choice while people in Somalia are starving by chance
The least we can do is set an example and show them that we are grateful for who we are.

See the only thing we'll liposuct is that 100 pounds of low self esteem
We'll do sit ups to get rid of the lies they fed us
And we'll botox our hearts so that they can overflow with blood of contentment
so they can pump confidence to our bodies such that when we walk
we walk with the knowledge that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We'll learn to appreciate our stretch marks for they are the proof and evidence that our bodies are content and choose to smile to prove it.
We'll wear our insecurities like uniforms to school,
We'll create awkward situations for ourselves
Make fools out of ourselves because we are weird,
We'll fall flat on our faces,
stand up and laugh at the ground like it has nothing on us.

We'll pickup our confidence, wear a smile and walk straight to that lesson we dread the most.
The one that teaches us to learn from the very past we are trying to leave behind.

Because in the past we weren't good enough,
In the past we had a low self esteem,
In the past we let the dictionary define us,
In the past we would have answered to their name calling,
But this time we are turning a deaf ear, we don't want to hear it
We know who we are,

We are flawless,
and the only reason there is no prince charming coming our way,
Is because we are queens,
And  our king is out there and we know it.

It hits me like the cold August wind,
sending shivers all over my body,
forming goosebumps on my bare skin
making all my secrets known to the world.

It engulfs me in its red hot embrace
Feeding on the flesh of my innocence
******* the air of dignity from my lungs
Leaving me gasping for the remaining respect i had for myself.

Its like that crack in the middle of my mirror
The reason i never bother to look at it
Its like the red ketchup stain on my white shirt
The one i've been trying to remove.

Its my sense of being i search for in the lost and found
The dreams i've given up on and put under lock and key
Its the monster that sleeps under my bed
The reason i sleep in the dark so it won't see me.

Its all the wrongs I'm trying to make right
The crooked roads I'm trying to make straight
Its the sweet dreams that make me over sleep
The reason i put my alarm on snooze.

Its the tests i want to pass without revising for
The A+ i want handed to me on a silver platter
Its the weekend assignments i do on Monday morning
The feeling of being behind time keeps me going.

Its the prayer of a sinner i lament day and night
The throne of grace and mercy i kneel before
Its the dark sins i want made white
The blood of Jesus will set me free.

Its this prayer I've written down
The reason I'm saying Amen...

For every how are you you get asked
is the cliche response of "Im fine thank you"
What are you thankful for?
Is it because they bothered to ask or because they believed the lie you just told them?
Which is the answer and please don't lie to me.

I'm not in the business of making promises cause i can't keep them
But I'll promise you something
The next time you come crying to me,
I won't try and save every tear drop, I'll let it rain
i wont pretend to understand cause most of the time i don't
i wont ask if you are okay cause obviously you are not


I'll be nothing but your pillow to cry on, your shoulder to lean on
I'll even be your punching bag when it comes to the worst
i'll listen to you when the rest of the world plugs in their earphones and act as if you crying is a lot louder than the music they are listening to
Lastly i promise to probably walk away even when you need me;-)

BEAUTY
So maybe it was okay to joke about it,
Laugh about how we'll work hard, be successful,
And get plastic surgery,
But deep down it still hurts.

So we rampage through the first aid kit for drugs to get us high on self esteem,
We compare ourselves to the main chick,
complain about how we are the duff and the side chick.

They say the grass is greener on the other side,
So why keep looking at the main house?
When all you need is in your own home.

Cause they may not think we are pretty
They may place us after that girl
To them we might be the 'oh yeah you are pretty too'
But its okay.

We've been through enough pain already
And pretty hurts so we'll rather be beautiful.