I have fever but I don’t let it run high
I take the medicine as soon as it starts to rise
This medicine leaves me with a bitter aftertaste
As the fever leaves me in a haste

I have the medicine this once , never had it before
Always had fever and let it soar
I miss the flaming body now
It feels more familiar than the bitter aftertaste somehow

So familiar, my mind feels guilty
Not seeing the body searing in pain
For pain would cleanse
Cleanse the toxins in my heart and not let it stain

Captain, O captain!
How will my heart be clean
When it won’t be flushed off of you
How will I function with you still in me?

So, I think to throw away the medicine and burn in pain
But the fever’s gone now and I have nothing to gain
It is just the bitter aftertaste that remains

I'm feeling weary.
Because it took a toll, I was too deep inside, now there aren't enough breaths to come back to come back to the top and breathe.
The water is cozy, and I'm dizzy, hypoxic,
I don't mind resting in the lap of these corals.

It's not strong
But It keeps lurking
The subtle hurt.
On top and below
Of wherever my soul can go
Always present but never noticed
Like the air i breathe.
No, it's not powerful enough
To make me flinch
To blur my eyes
To ache my heart.
It’s subtle
Just like a constant itch on my nape
I have made peace with.

In the cold, starlit nights
The eddies of wind whirling me into spirals
And swaying me
Some little, then some more
Taking me farther away from the perfect world  
Away into to a space
Where I can walk UNTOUCHED.

Watching silently
Shifting between the black and white
And settling for the grey
The color of the rain clouds
Of the pebbles in the stream
Of the shells on the sea shore
The color of wisdom
The perfect neutral between the extremes
Giving more room for my thoughts to swim
And my mind to breathe
Unlike the confinement and eternity of black and white
Where everything is certain and nothing left to see
Peeping through the grey keyhole
I watch the world recourse and rebirth
Filled with possibilities and conjectures
Of scintillating conversations, debates and paradigm shifts
Ridding all the permanence
And accepting the constant that is change
I moult my feathers and grow new wings
And fly away into the grey.

You live in this world.
And then you stumble and fall
Through the tunnel
Into another world.
And you experience the eccentricity of this one
Then all you want is to stay here and snuggle
Until you fall through another tunnel.

I am still caged
In the depth of those eyes
And all that they said to me
And made me fall
Fall free.