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Jun 2012 · 656
Guilt
Mo2a Jun 2012
I sit down in this dark room
Watching the moon shine out and bloom
I look up to the stars and wonder
I look at your picture and tremble
Did you really love me or was I dreaming
Because it really hurts to think it’s my fault you’re bleeding
Are you really hurt from my rejection?
Or are you just done with this deception
This feeling is killing my nerves
I feel bad, sad and alone with no courage
I don’t know if this is a feeling of love or guilt
I don't know what kind of thoughts I have built
It just hurts to know that you forgot about me
And now I’m living with the guilt of being me
You were like so cute and sweet
But I pushed you away and hid under the sheet
Your words, your voice and your laugh
I’m sorry I treated you badly like I shouldn’t have
I miss you so much! I don’t know why
You disappeared so fast It makes me wanna cry
A guy like you didn’t exist in my dictionary
Don’t know where you came from that you must be imaginary
Please come back just to tell me you lied
I wanna know I’m no different and you do that all the time
...
Jun 2012 · 1.4k
Different
Mo2a Jun 2012
Tear after tear showered down from her eyes
Wishing at that moment she could've flied
Words ran through the air attacking her
People of all ages laughed at her

Sometimes the world gets so unbearable
Trying to survive, trying to be lovable
If you try to be yourself you get rejected
You have to be another person to be accepted
Fake a smile, fake a life, live a lie
People will love you, will cherish your every smile
Being true means you're weak
Being you means you're a freak

She laid down on the ground crying
Alone in this world she was sighing
People walked past her ignoring her tears
Laughed at her, forgetting the she feels
Not because she's different she's not human
She's just a person trying to be a true one
She was living her life according to what she given
Knowing that in the end she had to give in

People are all clones of each other
They all look alike it makes you wonder
Where are all the true people gone?
Is shallowness and materialism a must now?
Her image was not accepted in the society
She had to give in and lose wieght quickly
She couldn't bear the suffery she was going through
She wanted to be happy, wanted something new

At the beggining she cut down her food
She appauled dinner, everything was good
She lost a little weight after days
But that wasnt enough because nothing had changed
She cut down her food a little bit more
Sacrifices had to be made so she'll be adored
Everyday she'd way harself on the scale
Then she'd say "it's not enough, i look like a whale"
Everyone noticed how thin she was getting
But she didnt believe, she said they were lying
The pain inside was still living
Like a tree it was still growing
Made her believe that she was fat
And no matter what she'll always be like she always had
To become thinner she considered food her enemy
She stopped eating and considered exiercise her remedy
She became thinner and thinner everyday
Hoping that the sun will shine on her someday
Days, months and years passed away
In the hospital she lies today
The doctor says there's a big chance she's dying
The little pupils in her eyes go drowning
Everything went wrong when she went further
When all she wanted was to live happier
Unfortunately, happiness didnt make it's way through
Because the tree of pain had already grew
It's covered her sight with it's shadow
She couldnt see the sunshine even if she tried to

People around her were still the same
And deep inside still lived the pain
Nothing could've changed her view of happiness
Unless she decided to erase the loneliness
Now her life is ending and for ever more
She's lost everything, she's lost it all....
Jun 2012 · 465
"To YOU"
Mo2a Jun 2012
When the line stopped to become a spot
That’s when I realized the rope between us formed a knot

I pulled from my side and you pulled from yours
There were my heart and my mind but the win was for your thoughts

I felt wrong about creating that voice in my brain
You made it seem you were a victim and that I was insane

My pen can’t write the pain I held in that day
I wept so hard and let the tears take their way

Your existence is so dear and special to me
You’re the one that makes my day, can’t you see?

I wish I see you every single day of my life
I don’t wanna impose and be something like a wife

I just want to be that best friend you once saw in me
I wanna turn back time and be who you want me to be

I made mistakes I didn’t realize your value
But I miss you so much, how can I be without you?

And frankly am so jealous of someone taking my place
Coz you make things look like I’m easy to replace!

Don’t do that to me, I know I’m a bit crazy
Maybe a little more, ok! I think like a baby

Your words say different than your actions
And I recall only actions, nothing from the sweet words of affection

I never wanna be wrong to you my friend
I want us to be friends forever and till the end

Just don’t treat me like I am worthless
I deserve more than that, I deserve to be a princess..
Jun 2012 · 415
Come Back
Mo2a Jun 2012
Its not that I don't love him anymore...
It's more like I love him even more than before...
Am not being pathetic
Am not being needy...
But he's the missing part of me
The part I felt so complete with
The one that gave all meaning to everything I do
The one that made me smile when I woke up
The one that made me smile before I slept
He who made me be the best I can be
I wish I gave him as much as he gave me
I wish I could've loved him more
Maybe he wouldn't have walked away
Maybe he would still be the only one who cared
He's still the only thought on my mind
Still the only person I long to be with
Still feels like time is paused without him
Still feels like am connected to him
I never wanna lose him
Even though I already have,
It's not over for me...
Not now, not ever ... Not then, only never...
Mo2a Jun 2012
Am man enough to hold my self together..
Am man enough to accept things as they are...
But am only a girl, I'll scream your name inside...
Just a girl, sometimes I break, always wishing you by my side...
Almost human to hope everything turns out better than we expect...
Pure believer to know Allah wrote the best for both of us to accept...
I know everything will be alright...
And am almost okay as long as you're happy...
I love you enough to wish you all the best..
I love you enough to leave you be..
I love you more than to be the cause of your misery..


I hope you know... I will always love you...

— The End —