"Does it really get better? Or do we just get used to it?"

It's very early in the morning, this is what I feel.

But, what's new?

This is what I feel everyday.

even if you're super dead inside

                  you need to fight.

            fight.  
                
                                  'cause in the end,
                              you're still the one who's gonna
                                 build yourself up again.

Everything you see are beautiful
Every people in your eyes are attractive



                 But, you. Why don't you see yourself
                    just like what you see with your eyes?

"Was it the wrong time
What if we tried?
Giving in a little more
To the warmth we had before"
- Lifetime by Ben and Ben

What if I tried a little bit more?
What will happen if I just ignore the thoughts inside my head?

Too many questions came into my mind.
Questions I can only answer if I continue. But I don't know if I'm still able to answer it, because now it's gone. I gave up.  
I think too much about what's inside my mind, but everything was true. I do not deserve you, because there is something more worthy of you. There's someone who deserves you. And that is not me.

What if I just ignored the thoughts on my head? Am I that someone?

I've said it several times that I don't like you anymore, that I'll try to forget you, but how?

Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, the way you talk, your precious smell, your gentle hands. Everything. I can't forget every detail of you, every piece of you. You. How can I forget you?

Why do I keep remembering you, why do I keep remembering the days when we're still together, when I was still yours.  

I'm trying so hard to forget you. I tried to write poems, play an instrument, listen to music. I tried everything but nothing helps. Instead, I remember you more

Music, I can't stop playing our favorite song. Everytime I play it, I can feel your warm hugs. It feels like we're flying above the clouds. But now, it's just me.

Instruments, playing an instrument is hard but you made it easier for me. Everytime I place my fingers on the strings I can feel your hands guiding my fingers but, you're not here.

I tried writing poems to forget you but it's hard because you're always my subject.

I hope that every matching words that I make, I hope you know that it's about you.
I hope that every poems that I wrote, I hope you know that it's for you.

I'll keep trying to forget you but, you still have a place in my heart that no one can replace.