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303 · Sep 2014
What do you want to be?
MissNeona Sep 2014
You're starting now.

Actually, it's not a start or a stop,
it's a continuous progression.
against the continuously aging body you've been granted,

they say death isn't the end,
so, learn, my child, learn and grow,

figure your **** out, and apply what you know,

speak from the heart,
only be an upstart,
when you know that the flows got to go,

figure out what's important,
and how to keep going,

retain those you know are worth it,
discard those that do you only damage,

it is time, my love,
it's time to go,
you've been working so hard for this,
it shows,

you're worn and ragged,
weathered and torn,

by this point in time,
by life, you feel scorned

Everything you do now goes back into the universe,

Explore the concepts,
connect the dots,

Develop the ideas,
before your brain rots,

Each body you're given,
the collection of souls,

Keep perpetuating ideals,
only deity knows,

We're moving towards something huge,
dividing,
winding,
and expectantly wooed,

by the need to feel special,
that white picket fence,

Everyone is hungry for something they miss,
Find it,
don't get it,
keep yourself chasing,

Everyone knows horses are great for racing,

What's your carrot? What's your sign?

How can I capture, enrapture your mind?
289 · Oct 2021
Lession or Lesion.
MissNeona Oct 2021
I am always trying to learn the lesson before the opportunity teaches me...

It's a race of self-mastery.
Many prefer to be masturbatory.
280 · Sep 2014
Sur Reality
MissNeona Sep 2014
everything is disconnected
it all feels so strange
whenever I'm close to coming
I've found you already gone
sometimes i would bleed extra to make sure i still bled blood
279 · Sep 2014
treat
MissNeona Sep 2014
outside squirrel kitty treat
279 · Aug 2021
Untitled
MissNeona Aug 2021
Mother - mater - the matter we're made from, Father - pater - the pattern we've been paved from, the son, the sun, the life you were given, and the holy spirit, the whisper in your ear, where faith keeps on living.. then you come in, the soul of the set, learning, growing, youing
275 · Sep 2014
too tight
MissNeona Sep 2014
On the inside I'm still that dumb kid who hugs animals too tight.
270 · May 2016
Where are you?
MissNeona May 2016
thought you would be here by now,

It feels like eternities and eons are twisting around in my stomach,

It's like I can feel you coming to me,
Through space and time on your journey,

Through the aether and the unknown
I feel your breath in the wind,
Your sight in the light

Where are you?
Where are you?

The mist is in the way,
The shadows feel here to stay.

Can you hear me?
Can you feel me?

More hopes dim each day,
When my head is down to lay


It gets harder and harder without you here,
I thought you would be with me
I expected these battles to be fought by your side,
shoulder to shoulder,
partners in vibe,

I can't see you,
or touch you,
or tell you my love,

The battles that I am winning don't feel like enough.


I am sick of delay,
of hopes and dreams.

I need this actualized,
lest all my feels, be realized,
I am terrified, locked in my place.

But I know,
what's left is breaking the daze and the fog I applied to the mind...

When after so many search attempts,
there was no you to find.

I am gathering my things,
paying my dues.
Processing my mind,
that was reduced to mere fumes.

I will go on my way,
with my strength through the darkness.

I know the last trials will seem like the hardest.

I am going to go where my soul finds song,
and maybe that's where you and I belong.
268 · Aug 2017
Draw herself together
MissNeona Aug 2017
With a clamouring clash and a thickening thud,
She found herself among a pool of her own blood,
Stunned, bummed, churing and yearning.
Raging of insides are constantly burning,

She glanced around; seeing nobody to be found,
And wanting no one to see,

her bruised up face, And her washed out state,
faded further than transparency,

She had fallen hard, she knew it to be so,
But she'd rather it be her than any other bro,
She had done it before, and would do it again,
She welcomes the injury, she knows how to fend.

for herself, for another, for a child, or that brother.
for any other she would aid,
But no matter the amount, she would never pout,
and despises being paid,

She prefers the martyrdom, the giving of self,
the exposing of insides, and destruction of health,
She likes drawing herself together, feeling the drip,
Knowing it won't be so long before the next slip.

Pulling the pooling, the constant remorse,
knowing this path, remembering the course,
the sliding between fingers, the inability to grasp
the past, the present, the future! at last.

She's here, lil queer, maybe broken, strange token,
Of force, of course, she's mending, and bending.
stitching it up, knowing "sup?". nearly there, fighting bear,

of bear hands and grizzly fates, rolled back eyes and hazardous states,
teetering on the edge of her own destruction
poking the polars, running into corners and walls, rampaging so hard, there was nothing but falls
She was the kOS of her own rambunction.

you can't cup the water with open hands, and you can't travel to distant lands,
unless you make the right plan
she tries anyhow, to go with the flow, and to keep the teeter in toe,
but she can't even consistently tan.

This falling apart, the ripping at start, knows no way but down.
But she knows it so, the push and the pull, she's still on the ground.
260 · Sep 2014
It hits the fan
MissNeona Sep 2014
I think the thing is,
that you don't understand
that my life is a shitshow
- nothing goes to plan.
260 · Sep 2014
nautilus
MissNeona Sep 2014
let me talk to nautilus
what is in store?
256 · Sep 2014
Press me back together.
MissNeona Sep 2014
wrap your arms in me
hold me tight please
I need you to show my soul
it's way back to my body
253 · Sep 2021
to suffer
MissNeona Sep 2021
I thought it was an agreement we made
to suffer through - even when we were worn thru
252 · Aug 2017
Figuring it
MissNeona Aug 2017
Fortune favouring the brazen and bold, the aether is passing on gifts untold, weaving the future, dismantling the past, these learnings we're taking on happen ever so fast. The whirring, the chaos, the mattering and facts. Showing me what strengths are and where there are lacks. Crushin' it, buffering wit, figuring out the issues. Figuring it, biggening it, avoiding the tissues. Everything needs solving, problem absolving, crafting patterns and habits to enforce the structure. Creating barriers and buffers, ignoring martyrs and fluffers, make a fabric free from puncture.
252 · Jul 2021
sellout
MissNeona Jul 2021
I need to forgive myself
for selling out to be with you
I loved your lies
boring was the truth
I guess I'll stay with me
and let your ways be
you'll never actually see
what I saw in you and me.
242 · Sep 2014
crits
MissNeona Sep 2014
I feel like you're searching for a way to criticize.
241 · Mar 2021
50
MissNeona Mar 2021
50
It's like everyone is screaming 'cause they don't wanna seem crazy,
Needing to be heard, yearning in mind - but body's lazy
We think too much, hurt so much, then just get super hazy.
Then wondering why we don't do what we wanna do on the daily.

Show up, clarify your needs, and get your dreams made
You're the only one who can do the work  to get paid
Does the universe have to sound the alarm like an air raid?
Or are you too busy dickin' around tryna get laid?

There's nobody I know that wants to navigate social situations
Emotional labour is one of the heaviest on our patience.
Looking around, we're searching for our next tempations.
Huffing about saying we're deserving of our remunerations.

Some times Ds get degrees - fiddy dat, yo.
And Fs are just a sign that learning comes slow.

All imposters in our out mind
nothing but a soul's bind
searching outside you won't find
what truly appeases the grind

all the expectations from being such a filthy ****** with a design-thinker's mind my whole life. I will never appease the beast inside, but at least I'm submitting for her approval now instead of the run-and-hide.
236 · Sep 2014
2014
MissNeona Sep 2014
I guess it's time for me to own up to my plans...
2014 is going to come with a lot of struggles,
intense change and hopefully some exciting accomplishments!

I'm excited to leave behind the last couple years,
which is mostly a post-secondary blurr.

I have battled illnesses, gained and lost a business and have many loose ends to tie up in these next four months.

Working through breakups and divorces,
challenges and adversity,
I have survived another year and it has taken the appropriate toll on my body.

I have met amazing souls,
learned much,
and tried to roll with the punches as well as one can.

My resolution is one of constant, directed force.

With being ever so near to my goal,
it is time to apply the knowledge I've gained.

Thanks to all who have stuck by me through my trials,
and those new to the tribulations.

This year,
I realized just how freakin' lucky I am to have what I have,
and now I need to learn what to do with this luck.
236 · Sep 2014
Sadness and Pixels
MissNeona Sep 2014
Why am I wasting my life on sadness and pixels?
234 · Jun 2016
Shestorm
MissNeona Jun 2016
I always broke myself with the chasing,

The touching...
But everything was so shiny and new.

I was on the sparkle path!

And it was so much better than the darkness and chaos that I left in my wake.

I wanted to find something better that could protect me and fend off the weather.

Some beautiful bastion of hope.

Maybe a white knight on a fiery stead.

Or a tower way up high filled with knowledge and power.

I started rushing this way and that, collecting artifacts and maps

like a kender filled to the brim with wanderlust and want...

But not all existences are sustainable and I spread myself ever so thin with searching for something outside myself.

I tried to find things and press them into me...
wrap them around me...
find terms so that people could see me...
but I was already there and I didn't understand it.

I  couldn't find a solace from the storm if I was too
blinded to see that the natural disaster was me.

It tore me apart from the inside out...
the core became so frail from reaching this way and that...
tatters of myself left strewn apart so disconnected and thin.

I would say ribbons, but it wasn't that pretty.

I am chaos and disorder,
trying to find focus and a steadying of mind...

they say the eye of the storm is quiet and calm.

I shrunk back to my core and built up walls around me.
From the eye of the storm I was able to see that there is no you,
there is only me.
232 · Sep 2014
Self Esteem Issues
MissNeona Sep 2014
I love girls with self esteem issues
232 · Sep 2014
statistical
MissNeona Sep 2014
I've been at this for a while
I do not want of lovely homes.
frankly, you are wanting,
as is everyone,
one learns their need
when they have nothing
I know these paths,
I have tried them before,
I also know of the horrors,
that they have in store,
I know where it ends,
the fated outcome,
of all these twist turns + bends,
It's easier to assume,
you're another statistic,
if it's easy to logically,
plot your dot on the grid map,
231 · Sep 2014
it's expected
MissNeona Sep 2014
Expecting disillusionment
Is one way to keep happy
If you love watching it all fall apart
220 · Sep 2014
bellyaching
MissNeona Sep 2014
I ate too much to cry this hard.
219 · Sep 2014
emotional labour
MissNeona Sep 2014
Was the effort it took worth what you gained from it?
218 · Jan 2021
Deny me and be doomed
MissNeona Jan 2021
"If you fight for your limitations you get to keep them" and if you refuse to authentically address the truth of feelings you will be doomed to repeat them.
MissNeona Aug 2023
Why you're excellent, as you be
Back data assets up & rebooty
Whatcha building over there?
Performative nicety vs. Authentic, genuine care
De-meaning words doesn't strip content of potency, accuracy, just shows a lack of imagination, creativity, care and clarity
Lords of the land were supposed to provide, not take money and chide
Vortexial resonance fields vs. Resistance
Hieros Gamos herostratus and burnt bridges
Hail Mary not pass her like a go-round, no wonder lede was buried instead of being lifted off the ground
Multitask, switchtask, background processes outlast
Self determinaton, loose will, neuromuscular triggering labours past
Anything not bringing ease is a labour, and deserves wage fees if benefitting other deities~
Ancienne previous
Nothing is actually mine
Pop a Placebo fx 2 see
Kaliki Golden Dark Horse Energy
Iku-tihku Emuu Tavatar
Star avatars
Like cutting down a tree to make woodrose
If we're all just a mirror hallucination of eachother, what do you think/say about other people?
Not comprehending something doesnt mean there isn't something profound there to be learned.
Preference of another, is momentary, but crucial
That might involve friction, challenge, and confrontation of a situation
Articulation, translation, communication
Jokes for me, heyoka for yew
Devi takes the W - yew enjoy deviw
If you think I exist amazingly in suffering, I will be brilliant when in capacity and happy... as we all will be...
Multiplayer co-op, not a pvp~ complex single player co-op, actually, where your judge is actually the best form of yourself that knows everything.
If you say so, but why you say it so?
New blood type found, kin
Filleth cups over, use surplus - don't use and discard humans like batters, maximum efficiency and pull energy from excess
Dynamic flow hyperpower
Gimme back those wyrds, spellcasting songs
Palindromic poorroop, soonoos operepo infinifni
When did nerds
What if? (deities song)
"That sounds like a personal issue" preferences vs. judgements, comprehension in communication.
Lemme honour the ancestors by being phi-nominal, matrilineal matroshka polka
Add a yet to it
Immortality vs. Immorality
The Garden of Idun, Yew Tree, Asherah - Pomme de Sang
Tryna be your friend
Kira mari kin, what's your name?
Eagles are pretty vultures that are known by the sound of a hawk.
Heibai try-angles
Wicked faeries and loyal opposition
The mandlebrot set crux point - the chosen
Buoy oh boats
Original thot
Tmesis Pie
What do you want?
Yet to cry, sing or shout at full volume - I care about others around me more than myself, cause I can handle disappointment.
The art of self-deselection
Packets of neuronic bundles
Sympathetic resonant frequencies
Waiting at the finnish line, for another laplander
Standing in the way of flow makes the ******
monkeys comprehend disparity - fight for fairness, rules and bananas
Praise, flattery, advice & criticism
Clarifying Questions~
Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth, heaven in the astral field
Don't insult your spirit, (can't you hear it?) By copying others.
Can't fool aether, just lie to the self, system be as it is...
Phi-bonna-chi arch and phi-nominal, additionally
Notice what's around
Add what came before
Songs for childish humans
Would a purehearted child stick around to watch?
Perpetual children
Pitch For Kin
Betta zen Mama
Biblios, early facebook, deities spelling it out
X-pyred corpse used to be a nest
Sometimes we have to hear a concept 1000x before it clicks.
Gender is temporary, spirit is not
Pjeunian paradise pleasurecraft
Diff between humans & computers - strange programming languages
Horoscopic cylons
A boy named Susanoo and the story of the sun & moon
Neutrinos and Muons they do what they wanna - Snarky Quarky Boogie
Timey Wimey Jeremy Beremy Hobson Jobson
kulukuset & kolokola: tintinambulation
Can I talk around it?
In the spiritual caste system watchers are worse than golems cause they are everybody's follower, thus lowest wrung... eye in the sky, if it's a wicked eye, is basically just perspective... they are beneath all, just egotistically trapped

High praise:
Ultrasonic Wavecore
Doo be dabbas, da double dragons
Electric eels of sol
Big dumb babies
Wild child doom baby
Perpetual Unicorn of Learning
Pounding Piano Puppies

Two dudes in the cornah touchin tipz, too busy with the space en-forcah heibai brudderhood to care for diz.

Accidental Leakage:
Ron noR recappin ** down
Buttlenecked middlemen chugging diarrhea in a filthy trickledownz system
sense-a-bull
Time-tellingTriangularizartion
Sassy rebukes in the moment instead of beta ****** gossipers when a person can't defend themselves...
******* singing
Hallelu-sin-nation
Cause 7 8 9
This is my poetry/song presentation list from my memo of thoughts for the YouTube streams.
214 · Apr 2017
Musix
MissNeona Apr 2017
Certain songs keep playing in my head,
reassuring my mind I'm alive, not dead.

Doesn't make it any easier,
for the lyrics, they make me that much queasier.

The bass keeps my heart pumping,
the lyrics speaks to the soul...
and maybe if I fix these issues
I would be more than a great craterous hole.

The songs of misunderstandings and ire,
of running away and fire,

natural disasters and lives of the tired.

At least someone has been here before,
on their own path past the unknown,
please let this break be more than bones,
she can't take her own cast stones~
213 · Jun 2017
Calling chaos
MissNeona Jun 2017
Sweet chaos and destruction I praise thy name. Making progress my burden, and danger my game. I need to title, no notoriety or fame, as long as the winds still fan the flame.
MissNeona Jan 2016
So she danced like the world was going out of style,

and in her mind, it was.

it was the beginning of some ending of just the perfect story,

and falling away into the vibrations was her only recourse

to close the chapter and transition into the next

the happy blurr of sound and motion

white noise tingling up her spine

pains fading into a pleasurable numbness

there is nothing left but the bass and the beat

the sway of  bodies and the shuffle of feet
212 · Sep 2014
Where'd I go from there?
MissNeona Sep 2014
I thought I saw the path
but I got all turned about
near the fork in the road
such a travesty, I'm lost
209 · Sep 2014
Tower
MissNeona Sep 2014
I'm withered and weathered.
In a tower of my own creation
208 · Sep 2014
Propulsion
MissNeona Sep 2014
I'm being propelled by a force that I don't know...
until something says stop, all I can do is go...
207 · May 2017
Little old me
MissNeona May 2017
I have given you so many chances to be true with me, but is it all so convoluted in your mind that you can't see? There are so many levels that we could reach and be, I just wish our souls could be wild and free. It's not some treaty... I want authenticity... come be real with me, else all I have left to do is flee... maybe then you might miss what it was like when you were entirely you and you knew how to love little old me.
206 · Sep 2014
Directionless
MissNeona Sep 2014
I can't tell if I'm floating or sinking,
when did my feet ever leave the ground?
No clue if I'm high up in the air,
or if I'm just trying not to drown.
205 · Feb 2021
Quae sursum volo videre
MissNeona Feb 2021
multae sorores non dormiunt
habes bene domi
ego est feminae et viri
fratres, dormiunt
viri, habes sursum volo videre
204 · Feb 2016
Whole
MissNeona Feb 2016
You're left in awe
of the majesty of it all
But I'm just a craterous soul
a gigantic gaping hole
In remain from projectiles before
A knowing eye will abhor.
203 · Dec 2021
Untitled
MissNeona Dec 2021
volcanoes in la palma - the hands of the deities
... The Disturbance Storm Time Index sounds like a great song name.. but kinda scary for a world phenom.
what if pathetic fallacy was the quantum effect of emotions on a collective consciousness?
203 · Sep 2014
brainbound
MissNeona Sep 2014
I don't know where my brain is taking me,
I'm trapped within my skull,
This panic is surely breaking me,
And there is no where left to run
201 · Jun 2020
I cannot die
MissNeona Jun 2020
When I was fourteen,
my daddy told me
something worse
than when he would scold me

Oh, it was late at night
after a distinctive fright
something that shook me
and stayed with me through every fight

that I could not die,
no, I cannot die,
no, you cannot die,
Oh, could you not die?

I heard terrible news,
her throat; awfully bruised
but at least
her life we did not lose

But, poor Ari,
why didn't he see?
How much his life and others
are tied explicitly?

Oh, but she could not die,
oh why did he try?
No, I cannot die.
Oh how could you try?

But she did not die
why did he die?
No, I cannot die,
no I can not die.

This pain, I know, it's surging through. your veins, and bones, it's burning, too. This hate, the urges you're feeling everso-  please redirect it anyway you know.  Redirect towards something worth yearning. Fierocity and passion is fuel for learning.

Her father told my dad
he was oh so sad
but with those feels
he vibed more like mad

After the fateful call
I just ******' bawled
my dad so distraught
toppled on the stairs- he did fall.

Oh you cannot die
if I cannot die
oh, you cannot die, and neither can I

My dad he said to me
Kayla- Katie
when you were born
I held you against me

Gave up ***** n drugs
all over baby hugs
and with the next line
my heart strings he tugged

Oh you cannot die
if I cannot die
oh baby of mine
just keep on trying.

Before I went to bed
I remember he said
Please don't make me
hold you in my arms when you are dead

To give you a good life
I sacrificed part of mine
and now your life means
just as much as mine

Oh you cannot die,
no don't you try
no you cannot die
and neither can I

I cannot die
no I cannot die
I cannot die
I can't even try...
200 · Sep 2014
Grave of the Heart
MissNeona Sep 2014
I think returning to the grave of my heart isn't smart.
'cause sometimes looking to the past will just make you remember things that were best left alone.
When things are so much brighter in the future.
199 · Feb 2016
From the Fall
MissNeona Feb 2016
I didn't want you to see me like this...
still crippled from the fall,
I haven't bothered to put myself back together
thinking that you were far away
and nobody but me saw my shame
I was still a crumpled, broken mass in bedsheets
when you saw me laying there
it was obviously too much to bear
I'm sorry I had to share
I thought maybe you'd care...
197 · Nov 2021
Seen
MissNeona Nov 2021
Sometimes we're more loving at a distance, yet cannot be found. When we wallow in our dirtts of mind, instead of playing with the ground. Many still need to see, a path to their ultimate destiny - maybe then they can stop swearing feel-ty to Lords of woe and tyranny? <3 We'll see
196 · Sep 2014
dissassociative
MissNeona Sep 2014
You can't even talk for ten minutes before the disconnect occurs.
193 · Jan 2016
we'll say it's okay
MissNeona Jan 2016
You can't undo it.
No, you can't go back
Let's just pretend
That we're on the right track
189 · Jun 2021
toy
MissNeona Jun 2021
toy
there's a flipside to your rhyme
we choose the side we acknowledge with time
see that when we mainifest our curses
it's what we think we deserve - what's yearns in
we be really out here manifesting our wants
don't be there with your demons in taunts
be joy, be a boy,
no coytoyin'
187 · Apr 2017
It hurts so badly.
MissNeona Apr 2017
If there is nothing there, why does it hurt so badly?
If it's all in my mind, I'd reprogram myself gladly.

If this is my fate, I will live it, sadly.

On and on I repeat -
If there is nothing there -
why does it hurt so badly?
187 · Sep 2014
theoretic
MissNeona Sep 2014
sometimes I feel our love is best left to theory
178 · Jul 2021
see clear
MissNeona Jul 2021
message from the mess
lesson from the lesion
victory over victim mentality
historical optimization
articulated affirmations
meta minded maiden mantras
making mere moments mighty
work for the self now
instead of getting flighty
wow over woes
peace from the pieces
all gold no fold
177 · Sep 2014
to feel loved
MissNeona Sep 2014
I know my strengths and weaknesses, I can articulate them to another, and I understand when people can't handle me, even if they love me to bits, I know how I want to feel loved and what I need to be happy and I will search for that.
177 · Sep 2014
in the darkness
MissNeona Sep 2014
Even your shadow leaves you when you're in the darkness,
Turn, turn, turn, fight.
Sometimes there is no run.
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