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MissNeona Feb 2021
Achievement Unlocked: p and I have been working for you to do this with you for years now you are going on with me to get you a little more grounded out of this is a good one that will help us understand the situation I got in with my body in preparation and the fact of my mind and my brother has been very clear that he was a lot more sense now and he is not going there but like actionable current policy on his Instagram page he says he cannot do that to me so much that I can get the job just for a few years and have to be able and I will get you a new one for me and you will have a great time to get back up to your need to do it with your hands all day so decided to make a list for this one cause you know how it is and what it does this thing is that way if they don't want you two to chat and host some of my friends don't like it was just that you are the best I have a good one that will help me get the same idea as your teacher and student at a distance you're not supposed I know how it works and society is not going there instead to help you out a lot more sense then you have a great day to post to insta and double down the line you're going through a few times before or when you're going through this layer of the game and get a few things done if the world doesn't work then do what I do it is a great idea tonight and it is time for me and your team should be good at the game to get a good team and I think you can do a better Brette game than the average bear is going up to a lot more than I am so glad you were able and to get the best for the game to get the game back to you but you are a lot more than I do what you think of that is so good to be able and I have to be able and to get the ball rolling and the game to get the game back and we will have a lot more than I do for work and if I have a chance on the team to talk about it i am not going there but like actionable content I can get the same amount as the gut's in a few more times in the next step and we will have a good day for the team
MissNeona Feb 2021
multae sorores non dormiunt
habes bene domi
ego est feminae et viri
fratres, dormiunt
viri, habes sursum volo videre
MissNeona Feb 2021
It's been really quiet in my space...
The cat does his best.
I haven't been telling people the real heavy stuff.
Cause I don't want to. And I don't have to. And it never. ******. Helps.
But when I hear the heavy of others, somes I end up bawling until I can't breathe... and yeah, it's getting it out, but it comes back... so, right now? I choose to fight through it.
I choose to appreciate the space I have to cry until I can't breathe.
I choose to appreciate the fact that nobody sees me when I don't get out of bed well, or for days, or if I whimper all the hours between it.
I am appreciative that I can fall apart in this quietness for a while.
Because I have been all alone... for most of this entire pandemic.
I appreciate that nobody has seen my breakdowns.
My questions.
I am trying to appreciate this time of grieving.
Because who else could love this level of breakdown?
I never had anyone before who could comfortably sit through this with me.
Not even me.
Until now.
Now I love my breakdown, because nobody else could.
She doesn't need to be attended to. She doesnt want to be saved from the tower anymore.
She wants to sit here, and love herself for crying.
Crying without having to he seen.
Crying without having to be heard.
Crying is the absolute most badass thing I can do with this.
Take the rage, the whoa, self-pity, fear of fractalizaton and terror of the unknown.
I got up to here... having major symptoms of chiari formation, theough multiple sockets being subluxed and dislocated (fixing them myself, too)... waking up three mornings in a row... body releasing on itself and nobody around to clean up my messes and the cats death throws but myself.
I am here for these babies.
Because who else could see?
We aren't against anyone, just for ourselves.
But self advocacy is hard when you've allowed yourself to tell you you are weak, lesser, not equal to... everyone around you.
Allowing my needs to fade and go unseen so I wasn't a burden on anyone else... cause I was too much of a burden to myself.
This is my Ode to Self-Love
I am a badass warrior.
Because nobody could see nor save me from a tower of my own creation.
And when the skies cracked and the cat began to falter it was like pathateic fallacy.
I get back off the wall when I stumble into it.
I laugh when my body spasms and something falls cause it has to be funny.
When the pressures of the world make me crumble, I keep getting back up... not because of any reason other than.. nobody else can or would.
My ode to self love is a mark of a warrior because I never felt safe enough to share my issues cause sometimes I could make even therapists cry...
About 5-6 years ago I realized I was teaching the teachers... talking profession with the professionals and surprising so many people.
I wanted to understand everything and everyone so I could understand why I was so weird.
Turns out my health struggles I joked were like a bill Murray sighting, "Nobody will ever believe you."
So I had to see, believe in, and take care of myself (as much as possible).
My ode to self love.
The hardest one to love.
The toughest love.
Cause it showed me the easy way was rarely the best way.
That suffering merely means to undergo.
And that we are all playing g the game of life.
There are no manuals.
There's no walkthroughs.
There is no 'you', only me, we, us everything and nothing and ... we are all in this together.
And the only thing I can ever ask another is that they take care of their circus of cells in the way that only they know, and I am cheerleading supporting rooting for and fighting for the inter child inside of everyone around me.
Cause you give me life.
You give me strength.
You give me hope.
You give me love.
You give me faith.
You give me inspiration to keep going on.
You allowed me to see me past the circus of cells and beyond.
And I can't wait for your ode to self, too.
I love you.
Thank you.
Who else could fight the warrior's battle? Only you ♡
MissNeona Feb 2021
Please let the wise ones watch over me
Please let the ones who soar set me free

Please have the dark ones keep me safe at night
And the illuminated ones light the path so bright

May the tricksters remind me it's all a game
And the ones with epic strength provide me with gains

May the learned ones speak to my mind
And the ever knowing shorten the search to find

My self, my heart, my mind and spirit
My voice, the sounds and the ears to hear it

Guide my hands, my words and my essence
To where the highest good would have my presence

I am here, whole, one and a part of all
Keep me getting up after every fall

Neona
MissNeona Feb 2021
Everything is curious and fun when you learn the real game rules

Nothing is real, everything is funny, and we're all gods masquerading as monkeys

Flinging feces and chasing that nanners, yo
MissNeona Feb 2021
We cannot fool ourselves into thinking omnipotent god-men exist, that one figurehead can take responsibility for all the woes of a region. At one point, it made sense, we needed to filter information up to the monarchy, or we prayed to god, but really, we enact action by doing. We need to empower each individual and work as a force.
MissNeona Jan 2021
but I had never heard those stories
nor do I want to know how others use me in their protagonist stories

fighting so many battles
inside our own

It's like I tell Missionaries
"I don't want to be a tool for your salvation"

But everyone has their own life to live

I gotta focus on making my story great

The villain always paints the hero with weird hues to gain followers

but those who stand in infinite truth are seen from miles away
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