...I called in help for re-locating my shoulders....
my body has been on the edge of fasting a lot.

Popping myofacial and muscle knots...
bruising appears,
skin dries and becomes scaly...

got help legit holding it in place while I snake writhed it closer to intended positioning.

Bawled cause the pain is so searing and real.

"What was that?"
"I let it go."

Sometimes we feel most comfortable slouched over into a little protected ball...
our body's give and curl and build up the strength where we couldn't.

For years I was propped up, tensed to ****...
and my body tried to come to my rescue while I shifted and forgot about the beautiful clustering of bits.

A circus of cells with no ringmaster.

Little monkeys running around with no direction.

I have been in a good deal of pain.

I had to get over the woe to find the woah...

lots of meditation,
isometric strength,
weights,
positioning,
breathing...
and what feels like still a long journey ahead of me.

I've heard that this has great processing potential.

I am excited to see the other side of this machine.

I love all my friends who have been checking in,
keeping me focused,
helping me go forward and loving me.

It's like I have magical,
psychic creatures around me
helping me elevate self and game.

Feel the pain,
say hi to it,
thank it for its service and be there with it...
all it wanted was to be seen, see it, feel it, love it,
be grateful for what that is showing me and let it ******* go.

I let it go. I am going to let it go again.

And again.
And a ******* gain.

Thank you for your existence. ♡

After a while,
everything you're stressing about becomes insignificant.

There will be bigger, badder and (luckily) better.

You need these times to build upon yourself.

You need the negatives to develop.

Learn, grow, work, love and do.

Because that's all there is.

There will always be something to focus on for tomorrow,
and if you're focusing on yesterday - you're wasting valuable time. <3

I think it is wizardry.

I've been grounding,
breathing up like a tree reaching out,
hitting white light,
drawing it back into self,
tensing up - redistributing self as shadow holding point, acknowledging fullness,
finding error,
releasing - then I grab the knot and I hold it for a minimum of 10 seconds,
thank it for it's service but let it know I'm trying to rebuild and repeat.

I can hear the wind against the window.
The blinds are low and beneath my breath I whisper, "No."
I doubt I will have many reasons to acknowledge anything outside my tower when the snow holds the ground as it's dominion.

I dislike the cold.
I thought outside was supposed to get frigid - not me.

while the stock TING market rides high they be stuffing the tides down our throats like we're sock puppets

My version of this is the ole 6 to 1...
If I catch myself saying something negative about myself I have to compliment sandwich the eff out of myself.
For instance, today...
"I can't believe you slept pretty much the whole day away..."
Is a negative I woke up with, so, adding a minimum of 6 positive buffers to keep my mind aligned to success.
"You deserved the rest for all the stress."
"You are likely needed a longer sleep since you deny yourself it regularly."
"Yesterday you did two loads of dishes, rearranged furniture, worked on a bunch of projects and connected with many people."
"You are in the process of resetting subluxed shoulderblades."
"Ehlers Danlos Syndrome makes you into an athlete who needs to recoup energy."
"It is Saturday, have a great weekend, so what you can, but don't ever stop."
"Rest time and active work time are valued the same."
"If I get up now and start the day, there's still time."
♡
Turns out, if you don't want to have to think about how to "fix" the one negative... you start being more positive generally.
And that is a kindness we all deserve.
Also, its scientifically proven to be more effective than criticism. So, are you being mean to yourself cause you actually want to get stuff done or because you're addicted to thinking you're a ****** human?
You're a great human.
Thanks for trying to be better. ♡

Why dont you just do what you can't so I don't have to see you suffer? Says the lover to the other.