We had waited an eternity..
Lifetimes maybe.
I was there and he was there and it was real.
Finally.
With a seasoned hand, he whisked my hair down.. and marinated in its scent.
Tick
He pulled me in
Tock
I fell into his kiss like I knew I would.
Tick
Down the rabbit hole.
Tock
He unhooked my bra.
Tick
He kneeled and worshipped my body like the holy ground in which he was unable to step.
Tock
I grasped for every inch of this newfound god.
Tick
We danced a dance that made the earth crumble beneath us...
Midnight...

Eske...

In your dreams I was perfect.
We were perfect.
You took me and made me so high in your mind.
I did the same...
But you were a lonely boy.
Unloved by your father
Coddled by your mother.  
Searching for love anywhere you could find it.
I was supposed to fix that...
Show you the love you missed from your father
Add to the suffocation you secretly enjoyed from your mother.
It was sick
You were sick
You made me sick.
And I couldn't be sick.
You gave me the illusion that I was happy.
Warped my brain
Twisted my heart
Shielded my eyes
Forced me to see things only as you saw them.
We became sick.
An abomination.
A disgusting, disfigured failed attempt at a dream...
Only a dream.
I'm sorry I added to your wounds by fixing mine.
I'm sorry that my rise to freedom left you broken on the floor.
I'm sorry I took so much from you when you wanted me to fix it.
But I can't be sick...
I can't be your father's love...
I can't be your mother's twin...
You're a lonely boy
But you'll be okay.

It's easy to be alone when you don't enjoy your company.
It's no problem at all to sit blankly in a chair
Facing the wall
When it is your only means
Of calm
And silence.

But when you live a new life, with new places and new people, sleep with arms that have shown you love, not bruises, gaze at eyes that show you acceptance, not wrath, leave your bad, your sorrow.. a life deleted, your quiet place is no longer your refuge.

Facing at the wall, there are no ***** little fingerprints.
No sticky mess in the floor
There are no toys littering the hallway.
There are no sounds of little feet...

I can be alone without being lonely... but I am more alone than I have ever been.

Sleep evades me
But you're beside me
Our child within me
We are golden.

Thirsy
Her lips cracked, eyes bloodshot and tearless.
Thirsty
She reaches for the cool liquid which was once so plentiful and feels nothing.
Thirsty
Crawling with her arms when her legs bucked beneath her from exhaustion.
Thirsty
There is a crack of thunder
Thirsty
The air has shifted
Thirsty
She looks to the sky.