It was a onetime try
Yet it became a full time job
Pretending it was helping
While I knew it was actually destroying
Every time I do
I cut away a piece of my soul
It was an illusion of an escape
An illusion of a happy place
When running away from reality’s pain
My addiction seemed to be the perfect shelter to hide away
For moments it gave me a lovely peace of mind
It made me feel relaxed, and forget all sorrow in my life
Yet minutes after, I quickly felt worse
Felt miserable and hated myself for being weak and that much of powerless
It was devastating me from the inside
Consuming my breaths
And threatening me with death if I ever tried putting an end for it
True … death was scary, but living with such addiction was even more frightening
So eventually I took a decision
To never fall for my demons again
And to fight back whenever the urge for my addiction settled back on the surface of my mind
I won’t lie and say it was a piece of cake
For it was a dark period to pass by in my life
I was at the real rock bottom
But that rock bottom gave me a new start
A beginning for a new chapter in life
A life where I am actually alive, and not just breathing and passing by
Addiction takes all that is good and precious in one’s life; I didn’t realize that until I moved on and came clean from it.