You say you care
Care about me
I'm your friend
I'm important

So I cared for you
Asked what's wrong when you were sad
Gave you a shoulder to cry on
Comforted you

But you
Never acted on your words
Never acted like I mattered
It was like I meant nothing to you

But you
You didn't ask what was wrong when I was sad
Did you even notice
Did even pay attention to my feelings

When I cried
It was annoying
It was stupid
You told me to shut up

You never comforted me
My sadness was annoying
And I was being a nuisance
Nothing more

I forgave your mistakes
Convinced myself to give you a second chance
Convinced myself to move on the moment you apologized
To pretend like nothing happened

But the tiniest mistake
The tiniest imperfection
Was taken so seriously
How dare I mess up or be imperfect

You said that it could make you hate me
Not be friends with you anymore
So I apologized
Begged for forgiveness

And maybe just maybe you forgave me
Or were less mad
I strived to do better
To not "hurt" you again

You convinced me I was annoying
That I was mean
That what you were saying and doing was ok
That I was terrible

But they
Unlike you
Who only pretended that I mattered to you
I am truly important to them

They care
They ask what's wrong when I'm sad
Give me a shoulder to cry on
Comfort me

They don't hate me for the tiniest things
They accept my apology
Forgive me
Tell me it's ok

They don't convince me
That I should be treated terribly
That I'm evil
Or that I'm worthless

You said you cared
But you never did
But when they say they care
They truly mean it

I'm not normal
I don't say this because I'm a pick me
There's tons of evidnece
~That I'm a freak of nature~

Sometimes I can't focus
Can't focus at all
Not even to save my life
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

I can't do it because of those it would would
But sometimes
I want to die, commit suicide
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Not supposed to be human
Supposed to have black fur and paws
Supposed to be a cat
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

I feel so alone
Even when I know that people love me
And my loved ones surround me
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

I'll get depressed for no reason
Nothing matters
Gloomy clouds surround me
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Almost always crying
But with no tears
Only on the inside no matter how much I want to actually cry
~Cause I'm freak of nature~

Can't understand the normals
Even people my age
They often confuse me
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Get anxious for the smallest things
Have a panic attack
Freeze up for up to hours if I don't get help
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Abandonment Issues
Say sorry for everything
Cling on to them all so I won't lose them
~Cause I'm freak of nature~

No matter what
All the hugs and love
It's never enough
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Obsess over everything
From tiny imperfections
To fandoms
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

I might be insane
Scratch that I'm definitely a little insane
Why?
~Cause I'm a freak of nature~

Anxiety
It can be sudden
And can not make sense
But that doesn't change what it is

Everything is caving around you
Something terrible is going to happen
You might not know why you feel this way
Like the world is going to end

You may shake
Breathe hysterically
Cry
Or even freeze

When will it end?
Please universe
Stop this panic attack
You want to yell

Can you tell anyone
Do they know what's going on
Because you need help
HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HEL-

People love me
I know they do
So why do I feel so alone
Why does everything feel gloomy

Why do I long a hug so bad
Even when I'm hugged
Why do I long to be loved so bad
Even when I'm loved

Why can't I feel
I swear on my life it's there
So why
Why is it like this
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
*ERROR

Come with me
Those who aren't supposed to be human
Those who belong in the forest
Those who should have paws

Run with me
Run with all fours
Here in the forest
Surrounded only by animals and plants

Let yourself
If only for a few seconds
Feel free
Feel your body is correct

Feel like you aren't trapped as a human
But are truly free
Be the animal
As we run

Happily through the woods
No one there to laugh or point
Take in the sounds of nature
And take in your taste of freedom

Look, flowers dancing
Dancing along with the wind
Dancing together

I want to die
How I want to die, to **** myself
I want to fall for death's temptations
Let its comforting voice pull me in

But I won't do it
I can't do it
And you may wonder
The reason why

So many people care about
I can't break them like that
And so I will not make myself die
But I will partially hide my sadness

At least from my family
Who don't know that to them
I mostly lie